Hiding your lifestyle from the family (children) isn’t always the best idea.
We tend to think of cuckolding as something sexual and at the explicit level, it is, but at a more basic level, it’s really about friendships, trust and communication. These are values and skills all parents should impart on their kids. I’m certainly not advocating exposing children to sex acts, but having them aware that there’s another male who is a trusted part of the family can be positive for everyone.
What kids fear most is that something is wrong in the marriage and mom and dad might split up. When a wife is dating and getting properly fucked, it will change everything – for her and her husband; better moods, more tickling in the bedroom, so to speak, and kids notice that. They’ll also notice changes to her dress, changes to her behavior and schedule. You can still hide most of that, but it only takes one event – like overhearing a hushed phone call to assume the worst. This call could have been between husband and wife regarding her upcoming date, but the child wont know that and might simply assume she’s talking to someone she shouldn’t be.
With my first couple in this scenario, we hid everything very well, we thought. The wife would come meet me and we’d spend a couple hours at a club usually before going back to my place (some nights I’d have him dress her in nothing but lingerie and she’d come straight to my place). I’d usually get her home in a few hours, but sometimes got her home barely before the kids were up.
After about two months of this, her husband was getting anxious that he wasn’t involved. We talked a fair amount on the phone and online and I knew he wanted to be more involved. They got babysitters a few times so he could also come to my place, but that wasnt very often, so I started to pick her up at their place after the kids were in bed. I would inspect her in front of him; lift her skirt, check she was soft and smooth (and naked under her skirt) and sometimes make her go change if I didn’t approve of something he chose for her. By the time we left there’d be a big wet spot of pre-cum, or cuckold tears as I call it, showing in his sweat pants where his erection was bobbing around.
This was working well for another month or so and I was seeing her at least twice a week, but then they told me their daughter, who was 9 or 10, had started behaving a bit defiantly – definitely out of character. We talked about a lot of stuff – we were friends, too, not just Dom/couple, but when we saw a little face peering at her mother and me leaving one night from a guest bedroom window that faced the driveway, we knew we were ‘busted’ and then knew why she’d been acting funny.
Perception Works Both Ways
Here’s the thing though: it wasn’t seeing us together that had caused the anxiety – it was overhearing hushed conversations, hushed calls, seeing her mother’s much shorter dresses, skirts and new lingerie that made her worry mom was having an affair and was going to leave. It wasn’t even that she saw her mother wearing it – she saw it in the closet and in the laundry.
We almost called it off, but I convinced them to try something else instead to try and heal what happened rather than just avoid it. The next Saturday, I went over for BBQ and we all behaved like we’d been friends all our lives. We talked about it every day leading up to it to plan it out. My idea was to let the same powers of observation that brought her to fearing what was going on also show her it was ok and that her father was both aware and enjoyed my friendship with her mother (their son was oblivious being only 3).
That day and over several others that followed, their daughter saw for herself that I was their friend and that when her mother would kiss me at the door (like she would her husband and not like I was family); her father would just smile and tell me he was happy I could make it. When I put my arm around her with my fingers brushing the bottoms of her breasts to hug her to me I knew their daughter would watch her father for a reaction and when she saw only a positive one, she just went back to what she’d been doing before I arrived.
This way, without explaining anything, their daughter began to feel comfortable that things were just fine with mom and dad and she pretty much quit paying me any attention when I was there and she was, in fact, the first to refer to me as her mother’s boyfriend. I think she meant it rather innocently – as in her mothers friend who is a boy, but I’m it sure had the cuckold swollen in his sweatpants and knotted in his stomach.
Dating – Openly
By that point we could date openly and the idea of her mom and I going out was just another item on the schedule like getting homework done before watching TV. I would sometimes stay overnight after bringing her home and the eldest was surprised the first time I was there in the morning, but didn’t really seem to care one way or the other beyond that.
I used this approach with another couple whose kids were slightly older right from the start and it worked very well – same pattern, same reaction.
I realize this might not work out for all couples, for all families, but as with many things, realizing there can be a path through this is the first step.
Next: Boyfriend Integration
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