Fantasies & Realities

Seeing the cycle of life played out through the changes and adaptations of a woman’s body is something to be appreciated and celebrated, but not abused for the point of a sexual fantasy. Having said that, the idea of further expressing commitment to this lifestyle through establishing or growing a family is quite common to many couples. Most of them will never seriously consider it or have a situation supportive of it, but for those who finds themselves as such, I offer a few points of information for discussion.

Terms & Definitions

A rightfully proud, expectant mother.

A rightfully proud, expectant mother.

I have changed the title of the article several times now before settling on the current one. I prefer concise titles that most accurately describe the content. I originally entitled his post “Cuckold Pregnancy”, which I felt conveyed a pregnancy sired by someone other than the husband, but have now chosen “Hotwife Mating” since I believe it more accurately reflects the biological imperative and right of a woman to choose her mate, even from within marriage.

I chose not to use the term ‘breeding’ as it is very offensive to some, though in its defense, the term is, I believe, meant to infer submission at the level where a woman (and couple), offer the reproductive choices to their dominant or leave it to fate/chance/nature to decide.

I refer often here to the term ‘mate’, which among our british English speakers refers to a friend or companion rather than the more biological role. Here, I’m definitely referring to the male responsible for fertilizing a woman’s ovum.

In biological terms, procreation is the entire reason women possess the sexual appeal and capacity they do.  If women were meant to only be coupling with one male, only one male would find them attractive, or, after pairing with one male, other males would no longer find her appealing – such is not the case in humans. Mutual attraction can lead to coupling as well as the female’s pursuit of a male she desires as a mate. As a society, we are all programmed to see the words husband and mate as synonymous, but ‘mate’ really only applies to the male or successive males who have successfully impregnated her. This means a wife can have both a husband and a mate in a modern (cuckold) marriage.  I write more about this in Human Mate Choice . This has happened as long as we’ve been around and is the basis for the term cuckold.

Mate Decisions For Hotwives


Attending their coupling.

More enlightened couples welcome the presence of another male in their marriage, but this invitation alone doesn’t mean a wife will or should choose her boyfriend as her mate. The choice of mate for a hotwife can and should be a complicated one; on one hand she loves her husband and always thought he’d be the one to father her baby, but her boyfriend ignites a much more instinctive consideration as a mate. The instinctive choice is really the only choice for the lower mammals, but for humans, there’s more to think about. First and foremost, is whether the husband has the commitment and love for his wife that would enable him to step aside for the boyfriend to become her mate.

For the sake of argument, let’s say the cuckold not only accepts but welcomes expressing the lifestyle in this way – now you have to consider issues pertaining to the boyfriend:

  • Would he expect a role in the child’s rearing – would you want/not want that?
  • What are state laws regarding who is defined as the legal father?

Let’s say those issues are worked out and you’ve written up a loosely legal document that absolves her boyfriend from legal and financial obligations. Now consider genetic benefits:

  • What is his family medical history compared to your husbands?
  • Is he obviously of a different ethnic/racial background?
  • If so, are you prepared for the additional challenge that may present for you as  family?

In some communities a mixed-race birth would barely raise an eyebrow, even to a white couple, but in others, both the couple and the child could face additional challenges. Having said that, some would consider it their duty to bear that burden so such matings can become more commonplace.


The moment of insemination as witnessed by her cuckold.

Some couples think natural competition between boyfriend and husband is the way to go, but I caution against that in cases where the biological father would not be obvious after birth since you would have no idea whose medical history that child carries.

ready to make a baby together

For some couples, the boyfriend is an obvious choice as a mate for her, particularly in cases where the boyfriend is an overt leader in the marriage, but for other couples the choice is still a traditional one where the husband’s penis will satisfy it’s marital duties of procreation and then, in some cases, be retired as a sex organ in favor of her boyfriend’s cock.

Hotwife Mating Commitment

Once a couple – and her intended mate – have committed to a hotwife pregnancy, it’s medically important that the hotwife have frequent exposure to her intended mate’s semen. This will ensure her body is more receptive to her boyfriend’s sperm when she is in her most fertile phase and lower risks associated with high blood pressure during pregnancy.

Disorders during pregnancy often stem from the battle between the immune system and the foetus as a ‘foreign body’.

Many of its ‘foreign’ proteins come courtesy of the father’s genes so if the mother is regularly exposed to them her body is more likely to accept them.

Professor Gustaaf Dekker, from the University of Adelaide, said: “If there’s repeated exposure to that signal then eventually when the woman conceives, her cells will say, ‘we know that guy, he’s been around a long time, we’ll allow the pregnancy to continue.”

seededThe research indicated that swallowing her intended mate’s semen was most effective, but all exposure is helpful. I first posted this in >>Oral Sex Improves Pregnancy Health . Because of this, once the boyfriend is chosen as the mate, intercourse with the husband must be ended not only to ensure the wife’s choice of mate, but to ensure her body has time to be fully receptive to her boyfriend’s sperm.

Oral could still be practiced as long as she releases his seed elsewhere.

Cuckold Mating Ritual

Mating for a cuckold pregnancy should be an all-hands-on-deck proposition. One couple I spoke to not long ago took video of their couplings and their Dom required her husband guide him inside each time so there could be no legal argument that the cuckold wasn’t 100% committed to a hotwife pregnancy as a cuckold.

Note how erect he is while guiding a bare cock into his fertile wife.

Note how erect he is while guiding a bare cock into his fertile wife.

Such behavior is not only fitting for a cuckold couple, but a loving gesture empowering both the wife and her chosen mate to make a baby together.

Witness & Document

You will both kick yourselves if you don’t document her pregnancy along the way.

At 8 weeks, there’s not the slightest hint of her boyfriend’s baby and at 12 weeks, her belly could easily be mistaken for a few extra pounds, but by 15 weeks, the shape of her belly is unmistakably of a baby. Show off that belly, be proud of the life you’ve created together as a cuckold couple.

Cuckold Fatherhood

Being new parents is a challenge regardless of who the mate is, but one of the side effects of being a new parent, for men, is lower testosterone, which enables a more patient, caring dad.

A father’s testosterone level drops steeply after his baby arrives, showing that human males are biologically wired to care for their offspring, a U.S. study out Tuesday showed.

Researchers from Northwestern University, Illinois, followed a large group of men in their 20s and found testosterone levels fell after they found partners and became fathers.

They said the effect is the same in many other species in which males take care of dependent offspring, as testosterone boosts behaviors and other traits that help a male compete for a mate.

nursing her mate's babyI first reported this in >>Baby Induced Role Change.

Since the cuckold’s testicles have no way of knowing if they successfully impregnated a woman or not, this behavior is driven by the emotional state of the husband and the role of fatherhood rather than whether he’s the actual mate or not. The side-effect of this will be to make her mate even more sexually appealing given his testosterone levels will remain high.

It’s important that couples manage their expectations and realize ahead of time that their postpartum emotions are going to run high at times. Something that would be mundane and natural like nursing the baby at the breast takes on new emotional significance for the husband when it’s his baby nursing on that heavy breast. Once the hotwife is ready for dating again, it can be significantly emotional for a cuckold to be home with the baby while she dates her mate, but if the couple – and their mate, have prepared all along and established an effective trust and communication, everyone will be the better for it.

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