Simple Risk/Reward Management
A couple taking the step of including another male in a sexual role within their marriage does need to ensure their health, safety and marital well-being, but if the Golden Rule is applied and consciously adhered to, all of these elements can be accounted for without needlessly limiting themselves.
The Golden Rule
Ensure any choice/action/experience and its corresponding outcome(s) strengthen existing marital bonds or create new ones.
Lacking practical experience and/or guidance, couples typically presume to establish boundaries and rules which are impractical or needlessly limiting. It is counter-productive to choose sexual exploration and then limit that exploration from the start when the true goal of boundaries should simply be safety and marital security. The Golden Rule helps couples navigate what’s healthy by applying a simple test: does the choice, activity, experience and/or outcome strengthen or weaken their marital bonds?
The Golden Rule is a process, not a rip-cord.
The choices, experiences, and outcomes that benefit and strengthen a couple’s bonds can vary greatly from couple to couple which is why specific boundaries are so ineffective. For some couples, a form of denial known as exclusivity can greatly enhance the emotional and mental rewards one or both partners seek out of this experience while others require a more moderate approach to forms of denial (like chastity).
Calculate On Aggregate
Often a new direction or decision has different consequences, outcomes and benefits for one spouse compared to the other. The recommendation is to balance the overall benefit/risk as a couple rather than as an individual.
The Golden Rule is especially important when evaluating the influence and behavior of the couple’s bull or when evaluating as a couple how to expand their involvement and/or commitment to him. When evaluated against the rule of whether the practice or choice will truly negatively affect the relationship, decisions can be more easily made.
It’s common for a hotwife and her bull to ‘sext’. Often the cuckold is involved in taking pics for her bull or at least included when she send her bull one. Would it be harmful if she sends a selfie like this to her bull, but not her cuckold? That depends on how and why it was done. If she teases her cuckold about it and makes it a bonding opportunity, then no, it’s not a problem. If she hides the fact from him either of her own choosing or because her bull asked her to keep it quiet, then that’s the problem because that sort of behavior runs against the couples’ bond. Base decisions on intent and outcome rather than preconceived notions.
It is illogical to think that others can know intimate details about what you’re doing as a couple even if they happen to catch a very small glimpse of it. Even if a hotwife is seen with a male not her husband in a public setting, the most that can be assumed is she’s being flirty. Even if she’s seen kissing her date that doesn’t prove anything beyond a kiss. The odds of someone you know being somewhere you socialize are incredibly small anyway unless you’re foolish enough to socialize where you know family/friends hang out, right? Creating a boundary of no public dating is illogical.
It’s not an impractical or needless boundary to require safe sex (condoms) with a bull – in fact, it should be the standard expectation until and unless certain milestones are achieved and commitments made.
Beyond that it’s impractical to believe there won’t be times when passion overcomes practicality. It’s also an oversight to not consider testing and commitments to exclusivity so she and her bull can enjoy the natural coupling most rewarding for everyone. Putting bare sex off limits if health/safety/birth control issues are settled is needlessly limiting.
This lifestyle is a daily exercise in communication and compromise – which is the entire basis of working out healthy and practical guidelines for a couple venturing into this lifestyle or venturing deeper into it.
Getting to this point is never easy for any couple – don’t make it more difficult by putting up the obstacles yourselves.
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