In response to other readers, I asked james to continue his thoughts on being cuckolded by me.
Though we are recent to identifying ourselves being and becoming more open as a cuckold couple and marriage, the reality in many ways is that Anne has been cuckolding me for quite awhile. In the past as Anne began to seek and embrace sexual pleasure from more endowed men she not only discovered more intense physical pleasure when their cock was inside her but also being alone with her partner, without the distraction of me nearby, allowed her to emotionally relax and climax better than she had with me in the past. To be honest, it made me step back and see that as good as a lover I had been over the years, there was better. I admit that it is easy to feel jealous, but it was not about putting the “brakes on”, afraid of what change could bring. That has never been what our relationship is about. We have a confidence about our very strong emotional relationship, where also each of our sexual pleasure is important to the other, and we can easily talk and confide in each other about anything, especially sex.
We see sexual joy as a journey of discovery and over time have learned that how it happens is not necessarily the same for each of us. Anne cuckolding me is not just about the physical act of her full sexual pleasure and satisfaction. It’s also about the foreplay of emotions that ignite our sexual passion, uninhibitedly expressed and accepted, different as they might be for each of us. For Anne, having an emotional joining with her lover beyond a casual acquaintance intensifies her sexual desire and full pleasure…when watching, this deeper emotion is very noticeable in the intimacy of her kissing and the number of times she climaxes with him. In turn, knowing the intimacy and sexual joy brought on by her lover, a conflict of anxiety and arousal is sparked in me and is certain to increase my urge for sexual pleasure. How important this emotional foreplay has become was unexpected, but also an admission that “better always trumps good”. It is undeniable how embracing a cuckold lifestyle allows us to be honest with each other about respective roles of sexual intimacy and emotions, while stimulating a more intense sexual joy and deeper personal bond.
In the end, it is a mutual understanding that I may not be invited to be present during an interlude with her lover. If she is alone being fucked by him, with not being able to watch or even be nearby to hear the sounds of her intimate pleasure, my thoughts begin to imagine what is happening, stirring my emotions between anxiety and sometimes jealousy, but always succumbing to sexual arousal. Later when eventually she strokes my penis while she shares and teases with the details of her interlude, my sexual and emotional relief will be very quick and intense…an acceptance of her charge of my sexual pleasure.
Some members have reached out to us wanting to know why and how we arrived to where we are presently as a cuckold couple and marriage. We are not ones to self analyze our life, but we can say that it didn’t happen overnight with a conscious decision, or for that matter over time even a thought that it was a possibility. Of course by reading some of our past posts you can understand our story of change, however, to know us is to appreciate the eventuality of it happening. Our relationship is thirty years young connected as one and each other’s best friend and lover uncompared. Anne’s sexual enlightenment may have begun with me years ago but now happens with a single more endowed lover, preferably alone with him, but also sometimes with me witnessing her new admission of full sexual pleasure. It is a joy we share together, and how she endears and accepts me as a cuckold but is still unconditionally in love with me, calms any doubt about having her lover as part of our relationship. Because we both have minds that are curious, open, and creative, change for us is an opportunity for something new. Without preconceptions and expectations possibilities become more interesting. Penetration into her pussy by my penis may be excluded but we remain very intimate with each other by freely exploring other ways to satisfy our sexual intimacy together. With this, and both of us being passionate individuals, the context of our sex life is a journey of discovery of what feels right and is good for both of us, even if it is separately different.
It has not been a difficult adjustment to be denied sexual intercourse with Anne. It was a mutual decision by both of us to do so based on simple reasons of her physical need for better and my comfort about her need, knowing that our sexual intimacy was more than just pushing my penis in her pussy. The emotion of sex is very important and what we have discovered from our swing experiences over time is it’s alright that it is different for each of us….and best sharing it. Through Cuckold Marriage we have been inspired to take the simple physical need and emotional response of each of us and change our sexual intimacy into a new level of pleasure and satisfaction that is right, very loving, and yes, fun.
I have now been denied intercourse over a year, shortly after we discovered the concept of a cuckold couple and marriage. Since then we have enjoyed very erotic sexual pleasure in each of our way. Anne has been very good about sharing here, on Cuckold Marriage, some very intimate interludes with her boyfriend, ‘A’ and the enlightenment of greater pleasure. With some reluctance at first, she has come to embrace without feeling guilty that intercourse with me is not needed when she has ‘A’ providing better, and is now shameless about sharing all with me while controlling how and when my pleasure will happen. My gratification is not so much about the presence of her hand on my penis but the emotions she creates in me when she is with ‘A’. When she finally does stroke me to some form of climax it is the bottled intense emotion that is being released and not so much the semen dribbling out, and all the while her smile and enthusiasm telling me how important it is for her to be in control of her cuckold’s pleasure.
Why has this sexual emotion become more important then the actual ejaculation? As I think about it and remember, my answer is that my most intense sexual experiences have been with some manner of extended foreplay, making my arousal stronger and lasting as long as possible before ejaculating intensely. To this, my earliest memories are when I was young and discovering and experimenting how to masturbate I would do so leading up to the moment of spurting, stop for a minute, start again and repeat the process, and eventually after a few times releasing a strong stream. “Edging” learned young. Sometimes I wouldn’t spurt, deciding to savor the emotion of arousal long after my penis went limp. Denial is my emotional need and focus to my best pleasure. It’s understandable why I gravitate to being comfortable as a cuckold.
It didn’t take long for us to also include chastity as a part of my denial. After we had read some articles on Cuckold Marriage about chastity denial, Anne and I talked about how it made an exotic statement and definition about the expected non-interaction between the Hotwife and cuckold. I now have two penis blocks and have become accustomed to having them on, though I admit l like the pink CB-3000 the best for comfort and the least fetish looking. When I am in chastity, it becomes the center of my sexual emotions. Unlike others who wear it for very extended times, Anne requests that I wear it primarily when she is with ‘A’, lasting until a day or two after, increasing the emotional intensity of denial well after her interlude. I have also been asked to wear it other times out or on trips to make me feel self conscious while Anne, wearing the key as a necklace, also makes occasional teasing comments about my “little one” locked up. Sometimes it’s not always practical to be in chastity but Anne would like me to be wearing it more often, so I expect it will become a more dominant fixture in the future.
To complete my denial and elevate her control, Anne does not allow intentional spurting (masturbation), or even stroking to an erection without permission. In place of it she will spurt (or “drain”) me, not necessarily on a regular basis, but fitting to our still intimate relationship. It may be a day apart or a couple weeks between, and usually soon after her coupling with her boyfriend, but always with a very satisfying climax. When it does happen and how she does it (yes, sometimes it is “ruined”) is an important affirmation of our still very intimate relationship.
It’s quite simple. I have deferred my role of providing sexual intercourse for Anne to someone whose cock is physically suited (larger) in size and gives her full and intense pleasure, multiplied over a longer period of time. My sexual pleasure comes from sharing in the joy she feels from her lover and eventually respite from my denial by her hand. That doesn’t mean we can’t be sexually intimate otherwise. If anything we are more, just differently. If you haven’t had a chance, take some time and read our post “In Between Times” and you will begin to understand that with a little creativity sexual joy has not been abandon between us. We love being together in bed kissing and feeling our naked bodies against each other (sometimes I am required to wear panties, but that’s a story for another time). I love caressing her figure and pinching her nipples, and Anne likes to tease my penis to an erection. The desire of more sometimes will lead Anne to self pleasuring herself and recently I have taught her to pinch the head of my penis to desensitize my arousal and prevent an “accident “, again the advantage of discovering denial at an early age.
Of all that could be missing from a relationship and marriage, there is much worse than agreeing how sexual intercourse will happen.
Future? There is no question that our present cuckold relationship of three is a work in progress, as any new relationship would be, cuckold or not. The dynamics of a third person (or persons?) in our relationship is welcomed, but finding that bull who compliments our relationship and sexual needs means someone who understands without reservations and desires being that person long term and more exclusive than not. Anne is very attractive and sexy and from past swing experiences is someone men try to lure into the bedroom. But that is not what she wants or needs and finds very unfulfilling, particularly when the size doesn’t fit the need. She has found out by experience that there are a lot more penises than cocks.
Anne is grateful for having known ‘A’ from years ago and him coincidentally reaching out to her as we embraced a cuckold relationship. He enjoys being Anne’s boyfriend and has made our relationship of three exciting and comfortable. From my place I see (but mostly hear) how they enjoy each other when together in bed. Anne and I have known each other for years and ‘A’ comparatively only a short time so more time will show how complete the relationship is. Nevertheless what happens, Anne will be the Hotwife and I will continue to be the cuckold.
It’s difficult to predict the future; whether the future is tomorrow, in two years, or twenty years, though the other evening as we were embracing and kissing Anne asked the question, “will we still be a cuckold couple in twenty years?” We both answered at the same moment agreeing that we can’t imagine not being in a cuckold marriage! Both of us laughed, talk about being one…
…followed by her next question, “why is this concept so difficult to grasp by some?”