Progression of Cuckolding for Couple/Change in Feeling

We’re a married couple at a crossroads. Until recently we were very limited in our cuckolding experience. We’re at a crossroads and could use others’ experience and advice, not fantasy.

Several years ago through a divorced friend of my wife, we brought a guy into our sex life. It started as me primarily just watching them and was very rare. As in just a handful of times a year rare. He ended up moving and that was that and our re-creation of it was mainly just role playing.

Late last year by chance we met another guy through our extended social circles. After years of not dabbling both my wife and I got the itch again and we threw out a not so subtle hint at him not knowing at the time we’re in a very long list of white couples who were inviting him in. Completely different dynamic than the one other partner who got us started. This guy is the walking essence of a black bull.

Complicating things since he started fucking my wife is I really like the guy and we consider each other as friends. We’ve been to a couple sporting events together, have beers, etc. Recently we’ve been busy with things in life and he approached me about the opportunity to fuck my wife when I’m not there. Naturally I had mixed feelings at first and talked to my wife about it. She was more open to it initially but agreed we should think about it and talk before we commit. In other words we separated pleasure from the reality of navigating the real life aspects of the lifestyle.

Since relaying we were in wait and see mode to him we’ve all hung out a few times including watching my wife with him and a few of his friends. It was our first experience with more than one guy. The cuckold, not just hotwife component to our relationship has been kicked into overdrive during that time and it’s a rush of emotions, in a good way for my wife and I. But during that time I’ve had this guilt that I’m still holding out on the thumbs up of him fucking my wife without me. The guilt has increased as the true cuckold behavior of our relationship has increased. I don’t know why that is or if that is a common experience.

This past weekend as my wife and I talked we were scouring the internet about it and related stuff and saw mention of a ceremonial gesture, like an actual little ceremony, where words are exchanged etc and the bull is basically given to the wife. We talked about it extensively and my reluctance on the subject was partially absolved in a weird way even though it’s just some formally informal event. Once I showed an open mind my wife related she wants the opportunity to have him when I’m not around.

Has anyone had an experience or have thoughts on this ceremony I mentioned or is that some online fantasy? Given the holding pattern we’ve yet to discuss it with him and ultimately not sure if it will be laughed off.