Reply To: Am I a good cuckold?

Thank you. You sound like an incredible alpha male and you deserve to be worshipped by a cuckold and his wife.

I do not feel abused but as I have commented to TransStar, I feel I am a damaged man. What my first wife did to me definitely fucked me up. But in the end it opened up a door I would never have dreamed I would walk through and much less desired. Being a cuckold has given me a sense of fulfillment. Maybe because I have taken back control that I was not able to do in my first wife. I initiated my current wife to take a lover, I made myself a cuckold. It has opened up a whole new world of sexual desires and exploration. Sex is no longer just perfunctory but an exploration of sexual activity, desires, emotions (whether ecstatic or demeaning). It is freeing in a way, both for me and for my wife. I can see now the joy it brings to my wife to just be a sexual being to her ex. I want that for her.

Not wanting to have certain conversations with my wife, is my problem, not hers. Yes I know she prefers to not discuss it as I think she just wants it to “just be”. It is just sex. I am the one who has created my own anxiety and I am the one who has to learn how to deal with it. I know she loves me and wants to be with me, that I am her husband, but self doubt is a terrible thing. I am not sure even if we discussed it and she reassures me that I am the one she wants that it would take away my concerns.

But where we are sexually is where I know I want to be. Him in our lives is great.