Reply To: Boyfriend Integration

Hi, your post prompted me to share my story. It’s hard for me to classify what kind of relationship I’m in, so I’ll leave it up to you to judge. We met our friend at our friends’ wedding reception. We hit it off right away, to the point that we spent the night together. That was four years ago, we were 36 and he was 48. But we were struck by some kind of cupid’s arrow :). From the very beginning of our relationship, the only way to meet was at our house – he lives over a three-hour drive away, and we have children, so we don’t have complete freedom of action. The first meeting at our place looked like a regular meeting of friends, a few drinks, late night conversations. The night belonged to him and my wife. The formula of these meetings looked the same for a long time. Then his presence was extended, he would arrive on Friday and leave on Sunday afternoon. In the eyes of my children (then 14 and 8 years old), he became a “good uncle”. After a year of knowing each other, we even went on vacation together at the seaside. Beach during the day and fire at night. Today, he even knows my mother-in-law (he helped renovate the bathroom), and in fact, our entire families. The only person who suspected anything was my wife’s friend, but that’s not surprising, they’ve known each other for ages. This surprising lack of suspicion may also be due to the age difference, although I don’t know if anyone doesn’t suspect it or just doesn’t show it. For our family, his presence has become natural, to the point that they ask when he’ll be visiting us 🙂