Reply To: Wife admits she loves us “differently”

Hey man, I hear you, and it’s wild how our journeys can have so many parallels yet feel so unique. I totally get the mix of emotions you’re describing—my wife and I have been in a similar dynamic for a while now, with her having four regular bulls and occasionally hooking up with others. Her body count’s over 80, and yeah, at the start, the jealousy and discomfort hit hard. It was a rollercoaster, questioning everything, feeling that knot in my stomach. But over time, I came to see it differently.

What helped me was realizing that our love, our bond as soulmates, and our family—two kids, a home we’ve built—none of that changes because of her physical connections. It’s like you said with Linda: the love you share is unbreakable, even if her body belongs to Dean in that way. I’ve learned to focus on the intimacy we still share—whether it’s emotional, like our late-night talks, or even the small moments, like when she’s just “Family Linda” for you. For me, it’s about cherishing the moments I get with her, even if they’re not sexual.

It sounds like you’re adjusting to Dean’s role and the boundaries Linda’s set. That’s huge. It’s not easy to let go of the physical side or deal with the changes, like the spare bedroom nights. I’ve had similar moments where I had to step back, and yeah, it stings sometimes. But I found that open communication—like your Friday night chat—helps a lot. Maybe keep talking with Linda about how you’re feeling, especially about Dean’s expectations. It sounds like she’s trying to balance everyone’s needs, but if Dean’s pushing for more control, it might be worth a calm check-in to make sure you’re all on the same page.

Also, props for finding some humor in it—getting that handjob last weekend, lol, small victories, right? For me, I’ve found peace in focusing on my own role in her life. I love and respect her choices, and seeing her happy, fulfilled, and confident is worth it. It’s not always easy, but it’s our dynamic, and I’ve grown to embrace it. If you ever want to swap stories or tips on navigating this, I’m here. Keep loving her, man—it’s clear you do.