Reply To: From Vanilla Dominant to FLR

Hi dave. Also my husband’s name.
If I may, I’d like to offer a wife’s perspective. I also come from a religious background, so I may be able to help there too.
Growing up, my mom was the homemaker and took care of the kids. Dad worked long hours and made all the decisions.
If your wife comes from this kind of background, just asking her to take over may not work.
When David and I were first dating, I tried to fill the role the I saw my parents lived.
After getting married, I was becoming unhappy. I was being lead by a man who clearly was not meant for this role.
I ended up having an affair.
It almost ended our marriage.
It took some working through, but it became clear that I could only be happy as the one in charge.
I knew nothing about FLR.
May I suggest to you that when you are discussing situations in your life with her, defer to her decisions.
Compliment her on her perspectives and how smart she is. Point out that you would have never thought of it that way.
Thank her any chance you get.
It will take time. Be patient. But she will see how smoothly things are going with her decisions being acted on.
Good luck.
I’m here to help if you want to message me.