Reply To: devastating sense of guilt

The feelings you are having, are very similar to the ones my wife had when she started an affair with my best friend and was a groomsman in our wedding. He would stop by in the afternoon when he knew I had to be gone for work. I always had thoughts of them doing something sexual, but never in thought it would actually happen in real life. She was the one who stopped the affair after many months of sex with him because of the guilt she was having. It took a few years for my wife to admit that he had been fucking her for some time and it was he who gave my wife her first orgasm from penetration. It was a blow to my ego at first, but after some time I came to realize how she deserved that for herself. I was always a pre-mature ejaculator and could never bring her to orgasm from using just my cock. Now after many years of being married and having much better communication between us, she knows I am happy that she had that chance and took it for her own pleasure. She still has feelings for him and one other neighbor who also was fucking her, but we all remain great friends to this day. Enjoy it while you can and hopefully you and your husband can talk about it in the future.