It’s been years but we and “she”finally did it

We finally broke through. She sucked off her very large bull 3 days ago now they are texting and setting up another session. I can’t tel you how hot this is now that it’s real however I’m dealing with the “reality” of it now that it’s not just a fantasy. Was jerking off a ton of times which seems like too much. How do I be more “present”