Mixed feelings about wanting to get wife pregnant from our bull

Hello everyone

33 year old man here in a relationship with the love of my life whom I’ve loved and cherished everyday for the last 10 years. We have a very fulfilling, extremely intense, and spicy sex life. I’ve always been a huge fan of cuckolding, very spicy sexual games, and craving humiliation so much… We even realized stimulations of castration stuff and pet play, and I absolutely loved every second of them. Since a while, we got interested in cuckolding, of course she loved the idea as well, and recently we found a magnificent bull. He’s perfectly balanced, seductive, sexy, and performing well… Treating my girl as well as me, so much that I’m almost in love with him too.

In short, we’re living the dream right now. However, I’ve been constantly going back and forth around some ideas. We had planned to have a child. Ideally, two, one of each sex if possible. But the idea of thinking to get ​​this Bull impregnating my love puts me in a state of ecstasy and excitement i’ve never experienced before. So much that during the day, simply while we’re walking together, I imagine her pregnant from someone else, or from him. On one side, I feel quite confused and hesitant, wondering if i could do that, but not feeling disgusted and closed either. But on the other, this idea excites me immensely. When we’re together and making love, this idea constantly comes back to my mind and triggers me extremely

Thinking about it, it all combines very well with the others fetishes we are into such as castration and pet play we regulary engage in. I won’t go into the details of CBT, but being treated like a dog, threatened with castration and thrown out of the room completely naked while they breed, drives me wild of joy and feeling intense pleasurable frustration and humiliation, where i do feel at my place. (At my request, and in no way against my will, I should clarify.)

The idea that he’s getting her pregnant while I’m busy scratching at the door and hearing him cumming inside her makes me feel so good. I clearly couldn’t explain these feelings or why, but I know they bring me joy and positive emotions i can barely feel outside of these. Really well, and that’s what’s bothering me a little.

The bull is extremely kind and understanding. He takes his place as the perfect bull, without being overly pretentious or completely selfish, but enough to assert his dominance in the good and balanced way. My girlfriend appreciates him immensely, especially when he makes me ruin my orgasm after he made her cum properly for example

That’s why I’m truly torn about this decision. I know they’ll both support me, no matter which outcome i choose, we choose. On one hand, I still want to have a child with her, to create the fruit of our love. But on the other hand, my wild and instinctive side just wants to submit to this beautiful stud and see them happy together. And that even in that second scenario, they wouldn’t abandon me or put me aside. But i would still feel that little tickle-off of having his child .. Like it wouldn’t be mind .. I both like and dislike the idea .. Like two sides of me fighting

Why do I feel this way, and what should I do ? Does anyone else felt the same, what did you do ? What happened ?

I kinda want to, but it takes lot of time for me to accept and make this step.