Re: finding the right ‘bulls’ or men to share her with

Finding bulls is no terribly difficult.  There are several dating and lifestyle sites where you can get a feel for ones local to you.  You still need to get out and actually meet them face to face.  What appears promising can end up being zero sexual chemistry.  Once found, finding out enough about the guy to establish trust can be pretty taxing.  A caution when it come to bulls is that there could be a back story that is a deal breaker for you.  Some of those “single men” are actually married cheaters.  Others are gay, but exploring the other side, like a reverse down low.  If the guy will not entertain at his place ever or is available only around certain times, that’s a red flag.

So then you have sound a guy who sparks the fire of lust, is trustworthy, and is also respectful friend material.  STIs are a concern.  Everyone get tested and tested again.  You’ll probably was exclusivity commitments, to keep the infection risk away.  The contract generally is that his sexual freedom is exchanged for your wife’s sexual availability.  If he wants to fuck four days a week, you need to put out four days a week in order to be sexually compatible.  He’s satisfied, them he doesn’t feel a need to supplement things.

It’s not a difficult as finding a spouse to marry.  But it is not as simple as selecting your breakfast from a Denny’s menu, unless you want to play the serial NSA dating game.  It can be a deep relationship, as it requires friendship, lust, and trust.  Also don’t discount the emotional component.  Very few women sexually bond well without love.  If she takes a lover for a period of time (not long at all), she will genuinely fall in love at some level with him.  Might not displace your relationship or grow to the same intensity of love as you two share, but you need to believe a romantic bond will form between them and the sexual passion will be met with attendant deep love if he is worthwhile for her.  That polyamory is perfectly normal and is true human nature.

There are those who take it  less seriously.  They have a series of lovers or use a fuck buddy, with emotions detached.  This is about the bull and hotwife commitment that is more stable and characteristic of the lifestyle.  Not saying the other approach is wrong, just different.   We are in the serious dating camp and understand the frustration there.