Reply To: Advice on getting started

I’m going to suggest something I should have mentioned in the first post I made to you. You to can be doing a lot more to improve your current intimacy as well. Despite agreeing that you two could still benefit a lot from including another male, it’s always best if a couple have reliable, enjoyable forms of intimacy of their own. With regard to the failure of intercourse attempts, have you looked at the timing of those? Are you both forcing those events at times when one or both are tired? Are you taking enough time to allow arousal both mentally and physically? Have you pursued dialogue and role play which will increase her arousal?

With regard to her self-confidence: most women have some form of this and the best remedy is socializing them to discover for themselves that men do have interest in them. This can backfire if there are reasons for her to feel that way, like being very overweight. Some guys don’t care much about that, but a lot do.

Do you have an idea of what type of guys(s) she would respond most to? Can you get her to talk about it? Try getting her to quietly point out the men she finds appealing when you’re in public.

There is no one way to go about all this…much of it is trial and error until you find the right path for yourselves.