groomed to be a cuckold by a size queen

Myself and kathy had amazing intimacy right off the bat. It was in a candle lit room that my virginity was taken away and I experienced true love. We lived together. laughed together, and supported one another. But Kathy had a secret. There were other men in her life. She was having an emotional affair. She was saying things that under-minded my masculinity sometimes in subtle ways and now when I think about it, it was blantantly obvious that she was grooming me to be her cuckold. She sneakily took a picture of me naked almost like an insurance policy. I asked her why she did and she said it was just for her. I was worried but I figured it didn’t matter much as we slept together. What I did not know is that she sent this picture to our mutual friends but I was unaware. When we were intimate it was always missionary as it was the only way I could have sex without slipping out constantly. She encouraged oral sex with me. Everything changed when we had a conversation about adding others into our relationship. She seemed excited about the subject matter. I told her I feared that another man would please her more than me and it was like a light bulb went off in her head. First she admitted about having a dialogue with a man who was an all star basketball player. He sent her a dick pic and she had no shame in telling me this. She said to me, “his dick is like this big, you ought to see it, as it’s incredible.” She made a fist and implied he was the same size as her entire arm. Her facial expression was one of desire, admiration, and preference for a larger more masculine man. But it didnt stop there, as their were other men lurking. She showed me a dick picture of another ‘friend’ of hers that she claimed was her internet husband. The picture showed him inside another woman but long enough to have two candles lit and resting on his manhood. I guess I didn’t take the hint then because she continued to push the boundaries of a normal relationship. She went as far and comparing me to her dildo to figure out my exact size. I didn’t know it at the time but she was not being playful but rather she was just taking accurate measurements. She examined me again like a doctor would with a patient. I thought it was normal for a woman to do this but her comment was, “you are so little. ….(she paused in fear) But then you get so big!” I did not think this was a coincidence now as the timing was just right that she we were watching the spice channel. We already were holding hands like we normally do. The show featured the lives of black strippers. These men were swinging their dicks around the stage and they weren’t even erect where my flaccid state was more like a mushroom. I started to sweat and I felt embarrassed but at the same time I could not look away. She held my hand tighter and assured me that we were ok. That evening I used her toy dildo on her for the first time. This was a test run for the both of us. I wanted to see how much she could take. She told me to go easy. But very quickly she accepted up to 8 inches inside of her, basically the entire toy. What I had not seen before was her head cocked back as if she had an itch to be scratched in a long time. She was embarrassed for a moment because we both knew she never had that reaction with me inside her except for maybe the first time. She smiled ear to ear. After the toy was inside her I was ready for my turn. I found myself in awe and embarrassed, that I did not even remotely touch her vagina. i just froze still and waited to feel something but that did not happen that evening.

I had to finish coarse work on the other side of the country so I gave her a nod and a wink letting her know it was ok to play around. That I might be away for a while. It wasn’t long before I got back to my university studies that a mutual friend of ours told me that I might want to look at what was being posted online. It was the photograph. The same photo she took in secrecy. I had even combed her phone before I left but she must have had another copy on her computer. When I saw the picture for myself butt naked fully erect. I immediately shut off my computer and I was seeing black. A rush of fear and shame came over me. I was emotionally raped and violated this way in such a public manner. My reputation was tarnished as I was teased relentlessly until I changed my profile and identity to protect myself from this absurdity. It was months before I talked to Kathy. She took the blame and admitted it was her doing. She said she didn’t know why she hurt me like this that it was new territory for her. But it got even worse, as I was told she had hooked up for an entire weekend with a man who was like the dirk diggler of our social circle. I confirmed later that he measured 11 1/2 inches and kathy boasted of multiple orgasms. I wished I could be a fly on the wall but it never happened to my dismay. But years later, we some how connected. I was more mature and a willing participant. I will never forget the thud his snake of a dick made on the bed after he unloaded his potent sperm inside her. They sorta looked at each other and laughed. But I was the butt of the joke. I have since lost touch but still desire such a relationship. I want to feel that rush of embarrassment and jealousy like a an addictive drug.