Re: Contradictory feelings that I can’t understand …. Please advise me !!

I agree with Mercator; this isn’t a healthy cuckolding situation. Nor is the issue being unable to separate sex and love. The issue is the core relationship between yourselves and what the level of love and trust is between you. For her to easily stray with someone else indicates her bond/ties with you are not sufficiently strong enough to invite another male into the marriage and that fact is troublesome for you two long-term.

Women often love more than one man at a time and love them differently but recognize the various strengths and values each has in her life. Your wife either cannot do that or simply doesn’t see the value in you that she should. Until this changes, considering cuckolding would be a mistake.