Re: Denial

Frank – thanks. My wife is equally impressed but she admits she still cannot understand how that gives me pleasure – but she is also now at the point of accepting that everything cannot always be explained. Why does one person like broccoli and another does not? I know what I am giving up – and I know what I am ceding to her lover to both give and experience with her. I know it arouses me like nothing else but cannot explain it more than that.

It took me a long time – I suppose close to 15 years – for me to learn to accept this desire of mine to be the beta-male for my wife. We’d tried other types of denial and this one, coupled with my acceptance, really seems to give me what I wanted to feel. I’d thoroughly enjoyed what we’d done in the past but always felt that it never quite gave me what I wanted.

There are definitely stories about this same sort of thing. My wife Sue admits that there was a story in Penthouse Letters many years ago where the wife had forced the husband to use condoms with her (as opposed to my willingness) and afterwards in the story, the wife expresses delight at dropping the condoms in the trash. She says that something about that story from long ago struck her too – again she couldn’t explain why either. So I suppose maybe this was a foreshadowing of what would come to be between us.

We have talked and she’s asked me about how it makes me feel and all I’ve been able to express is that it strangely fulfills me and that even though I may not feel her and experience the moment truly with her, I have to admit that my orgasms and post-orgasm satisfaction have never been higher. She too admits she’s felt me being much more foreceful and more physical with her and says that the whole experience is very exciting for her.

stevej