Re: In praise of Emily

Mags has sent me three profiles of men from the internet dating site that she is using. I’m glad too, because otherwise it would have been tempting to use one of those sugar daddy/sugar babies websites. Not that Mags is young skirt. Its just that we want something deeper and more committed. She does want a husband…albeit quite a malleable one! She wonders what I think of the options and asks me to decide which is the best to date, before I look at her follow up email where she gives her preferred choice. These profiles are always a bit suspect because men are such lying bastards when they describe themselves aren’t they?! But you need to make a start somewhere and in this instance I have assured her that I will be near by when she goes on first dates, in case she needs me to have a word with the guy. This isn’t usually needed. Ladies don’t usually take a shadow minder along, but I want her to feel very secure. If she is to become accustomed to the very best, to getting her own way, then this is how things start.

David. I look at the pic. He is in a suit, a good sign. He wears a designer watch on his wrist-another good sign. He must be Mags age or perhaps even five years more. He hasn’t hidden the greying hair at his temples. I like that! I reckon she needs a well heeled bloke with some presence, but not so up on the self esteem stakes that he thinks he is beautiful. After all, I want him bending to Mags. She is the superior, so these things are worth checking. What does he have to say about himself. There, he admits to being a divorcee. His wife left him eight years ago and now with his business stabilised after the recession he would like a companion and more. Its all very encouraging. Providing that the bloke wasn’t a drug addict or an alcoholic, its good to see that he has been left at some point. Being put down is good for the humility and he is going to need that with my protege.

Marcus. Hmmmn- I react to some names. Some names are just too self aware, just too preeny. Sorry if any of you out there are called Marcus. Its just a gut thing. I’m sure that you are brilliant to know! This one isn’t. He’s a gym addict and his physique does suggest that he might be in love with himself. He works as a teacher too, so he doesn’t earn lots. Its not what I thunk would suit the delightful Mags. His face is pretty, I can see why he would appeal, but he ain’t the malleable type.

Gerry. Gerry comes across as though he has watched a few soap operas. You can picture him with a cartoon of pop corn resting on his gut. It would be a big carton too, because he’s converted some of that gear in the past into lard. Prejudiced- maybe. But the point is that a guy who might bend to cuck dom still has to look presentable, and this one hasn’t made the effort. He is in a T shirt and unpressed pants. He describes himself as ‘relaxed’ for which I read ‘fucking lazy’. But he does have a good job. He is a building contractor and shitty as that sounds, you can see a good house in the background. Gerry knows the old adage is true- where there is muck there is money. Truth be told though, I can’t imagine Mags enjoying cucking him. I can’t imagine her fucking him in the first place.

I pick David and bet you lot do too. Its not a hard choice. I can picture this guy doting on my girl. I can even picture him meekly kneeling on that stool that I was writing above as well! I think we should give him a go.