Re: In praise of Emily

EMILY ON THE DISCOVERY TIME

I’ve persuaded Emily to talk about the time that she and James explored the ‘dirty ideas’ of cuckolding. She is concerned that my post may be so instructional, that she is being set up as the right way to do it. I assure her that isn’t the case. All she can share are experiences, thoughts, feelings and discussions that worked in the context of their relationship. But this is still valuable. Cucking happens in the head and you can only understand that element if people will talk about it. That’s the value of a blog such as Luvr’s. Serious people talk serious things. We get beyond the taunting captions and photos.

Jezz: You started exploring this lifestyle way back before I got together with you last year didn’t you?’
Emily: ‘Yes..certainly it was at least a year before, but difficult to judge because the conversations extended over a long period of time. We didn’t have an intense month when we obsessed on the idea of someone else fucking me.’
Jezz; ‘Most blogs describe how the husband realises that he wants to try this out and has to find ways of persuading his wife to consider that. Was it like that for you?’
Emily: ‘I can see why it might come to that, if a guy had read a lot and really got hot about cucking. It could become a frantic quest for him, but it wasn’t like that for us. James had I guess been thinking fir a very long time about his sexuality. He had pondered it and fretted about it. If he read stuff and watched videos, then this was just a confirmation of what he was living with. Whilst I was being Mrs Vanilla, he was wishing, wondering, what it would be like if I fucked other guys. So James didn’t rush this and he didn’t have to, because along side his interests there were mine too. I was keenly aware that James was less masculine that i liked and that i was attracted by other men who were more assertive than he was. I noticed when they quietly pushed in front of James on things, when they insisted on getting my attention even if he was around. I liked that, it made my panties wet and I was having to realise that some men struck me as far sexier than my husband.’
Jezz: ‘You were sensitised to more masculine…more assertive behaviour…?’
Emily: ‘Yes and that wasn’t just flirting either. A fews years back James was up for promotion at work and another guy beat him to the post. James was…well…too nice.He was too relaxed and polite. he was too ‘after you’. I remember consoling James back then and wondering what it would be like to go with the guy who had beat him to the job. It was an awful thought but I had it and I remember it.’
Jezz: ‘So somehow conversations started…about sex, about what is sexy and what could happen?’
Emily: ‘Yes, occasional conversations. I think the first ones were at parties. James always seemed very interested in seeing me dress well. Of course that led to a certain sort of male flirting with me. I liked it and James did as well. Instead of sticking close he would back off a way and allow the flirtation to develop a bit. After a while James and i would meet up and talk about that. He called me a cock tease and I didn’t argue the point. I am a cock tease and I’ve always enjoyed making men want me. I like it that we have this..a power that women can use.’
Jezz: ‘Did you discuss fucking those guys?’
Emily: ‘Not at first. James was very coy to begin with. He would fantasize about me wanking them off. It was about my control over the other men.’
Jezz: ‘Do you think he was protecting his true nature, that he really wanted you to go with the other men?’
Emily: Definitely, he was terrified that I would see that as weak. He thought that I could never understand such submission. Perhaps he thought too that I would be disgusted that he was asking me to be a slut?’
Jezz: ‘But the slut thing has never been central for you guys has it. He’s not into you ride a horde at some party?’
Emily: ‘I don’t think he is- you’re right. It was always more about me dominating him…humiliating him.’
Jezz:’So how did it get onto talk about fucking another guy?’
Emily: ‘My teasing…inevitably, it was that! You’d guess wouldn’t you. If you have been fantasising about more masculine men you take your own risk and say it. ‘How would it be if one of those guys refused to be wanked off and insisted on spreading my legs? How would it be if he fucked me until I screamed?’
Jezz: ‘You had to be brave too?’
Emily: ‘Yes..of course. A woman isn’t supposed to want that. Not a married woman. She is meant to be demure and chaste isn’t she! But I did want that…and it got to a stage where i didn’t want to fantasise about me wanking a guy into my knickers. I wanted to imagine him pinning me against a wall and driving his cock inside me.’
Jezz: ‘James react OK?’
Emily: ‘You bet…(she laughs) it was like a dam burst. He started to kiss and suck my fingers. He started to suck my nipples, begging me to go on talking that way. It was my instinct that pushed his head down between my legs. i made him tongue my sex whilst I fantasised about this dark and masculine figure enjoying me.’
Jezz: Back then was the fantasy sex casual, with a mix of guys?’
Emily: ‘Why do you ask that?’
Jezz: ‘Well, its just that i think it often is. For some cucks it stays that way. The hot wife puts it about with relative strangers. The problem with that of course is risk. They fantasise about the physicality of the sex, the semen, but need to think on about risk.’
Emily: ‘Well, you’re right. It was about casual sex with other men. But that was never my thing.
Jezz: ‘Your thing?’
Emily: ‘Well you know it so well don’t you. To be with one man who is clearly better than my husband, and to fuck with others only as he directs or insofar as that accentuates my status over poor James.’
Jezz: ‘How did you get to that then?’
Emily: ‘Well….I think I said that I would only go with his superiors…yes I said that word. Of course superiors could simply be bigger. They could have better physique. But no stud is just a body with me. it was always about attitude, intelligence, arrogance…and for that i had to get to know them. i had to have a relationship with them.’
Jezz: ‘James baulk at that? I suspect that he didn’t given what i know about him today?’
Emily: ‘He didn’t baulk..but he definitely didn’t keep the conversations going as often as he had before. It was as if he was realising what this would be like for real. I would want to be with a man who dominated him.’
Jezz: ‘Did you start looking?’
Emily: ‘Yes…way back, i started flirting with Duncan! He had always complimented me on my looks. Duncan was an interest..but as he was one of James’ bosses my husband was too freaked out back then to cope with it. So..a surprise for you i guess…you have helped James accept seeing me go with a man that he was really hung up about. I found something better than Duncan in you, different and raw for sure. But I found something precious too. i found a way of assuring James that i would go on loving him even when I was sleeping with his better. That enabled Duncan to feature again later…but you know that story.’
Jezz: ‘So after Duncan…?’
Emily: ‘So after Duncan I started to see the odd other guy, always men that i knew something about and always telling James what i was doing. I wanted him signed up to the idea.’
Jezz: ‘James responded well?’
Emily: ‘James responded very well. He didn’t keep asking and prying. He seemed to sense that i must be able to fuck at leisure and he had to wait for the snippets.’
Jezz: ‘Want to ask about your emotions now, because i think this is what women wonder about before they become hotwives. What do they have to look out for?’
Emily: ‘Well disgust. You will be disgusted with your husband, because he isn’t acting like he should. he isn’t being a proper male. But i think that you have to hang on to the disgust and use it. Forget the worry that society will laugh at him…you can deal with that much later. When he comes out. Focus on the disgust about his limited masculinity. Link it honestly to what you want. Only what you want and need. If you want to fuck with an aggressive male, then why is husband’s submission a problem. Husband can do oner things whilst you fuck with your lover. Start to see this as an opportunity rather than a hindrance.’
Jezz: ‘Does James still disgust you?’
Emily: ‘Yes he does. Sexually he isn’t appealing, but he is fantastic in other ways. he is loyal and loving and attentive and generous. Men like that aren’t ten a penny. I can’t easily understand how he lets you, or Duncan or CC fuck me, I am just grateful that he does. We have never been stronger than after we realised that our needs coincided. I started to see disgust as something to be kept and used. I would use it to humiliate him, something that he needed as well.’
Jezz: ‘wow’
Emily: ‘Girls will feel other emotions too- shame that you are doing this to your husband. You shouldn’t have to fuck around right? Well, may be. But that’s either because you set your sights low, as back in mummy’s day or its because you have constrained your idea of marriage. A good marriage changes, from young years to old, before and after kids. There is no shame in change, only in failing to learn and to care.’
Jezz: ‘Any positive emotions?’
Emily: ‘Huge excitement, massive arousal. You feel younger, more energetic, more human in some essential way. You want to move on with this and keep your husband in touch with it all.’
Jezz: ‘That seems another subject for interview babes..perhaps we do that next time?’
Emily: ‘Alright…but you have to win the next time interview. I’m not some tutor you know’
Jezz: ‘I know, and neither am I’
Emily: ‘But the pussy throne is good…the pussy throne is very good jezzer man.’
Jezz: ‘Thanks!’