Re: In praise of Emily

Earlier than I would wish there comes a knock on the master bedroom door and I find coffee and croissants on a tray outside. James has been too ashamed to face us together. I am for facilitating some sort of three way conversation, but Emily is still annoyed with her husband. She insists that she knows his tolerances and that he must wait to hear what she thinks of him. I can’t judge this as she does, she knows what they have spoken about, what gets him stiff, what he has fantasized about. But he will be made to wait for her reassurance a while longer and no, there will be no reward for failure.

I go down, order more coffee and then open this entry to Luvr’s website. I’ve decided that James needs to get some things off his chest. It might not be much, but it will be a start. He already knows that I am posting updates about fucking his wife, the conquest. Being required to spill his guts here is therapeutic, I tell him that, but it is advisory too. He will help some other cuck to be’s. He’ll acquaint them with the feelings and thoughts a cuck faces. He needs to talk about last night.

James

‘I cleaned the house as required. We have someone in who does that once a week, but I made it look spotless. I went from room to room, starting high up and working down to the floor, with a duster, spray, all the kit that the cleaner stores in the utility room. It was devotional. You want to do this. You want to please your mistress. The need to please surprises you. The need to get approval immense, its just immense. I thought this will knacker you. I thought it would tire me and I could sleep.

But you don’t sleep. Least I don’t. It’s as if the sex, the intensity of it has hot wired your brain to work harder and faster and there is no sleeping..not good sleeping. The thoughts flood in. There are the heady thoughts, the ones that arouse you. They’re about him fucking her, about him taking her. She is his, responsive and needy, she screams beneath him as he thrusts her body. You so want that. You need it, honest. But there are the awful thoughts. You feel ashamed that you have never been like that with her. You feel like, well, like someone must feel when they retire. What will you do? What is your role in life?

It catches you out. You expect the thrill and the worry about watching sex, but what you never expect are the little things. They share body language, little looks, touches, words, when she calls him darling. It is as if they have been together for much longer. They have a intimacy and that makes you jealous. The fucking is intimate. It is felt. It isn’t just fun and its certainly not an exercise,. You have to know that. You feel very unsure then. You feel jealous, course you do. You would be insane not to feel jealous. You panic sudden. It is just there and without a welcome. Dear God…this is out of control. If it is in control its his control. You wish like hell that he is not a lunatic. You hope like hell that he will manage things.

I can’t say more. You can’t think for a while and then you can. But right now I can’t. You won’t be able to either. OK Jezz.’

More than OK James. We can talk later today. You’d better get home now. Put out Emily’s cavalier boots and the blue jeans. She will speak to you this evening. I promise. You keep going man, this takes time.