Re: Our Cuckold Life

Luvr is right when he describes these decisions as monumental. No cuckold couple should do this for the thrill and there should always be a close examination of how it will feel to parent a child born of the cuckoldress-bull union. It is certainly true that all have to consider what it will feel like to relate to the little one and to see your partner afresh in the light of this event. Children are people in their own right, but they can represent too a reminder of what took place. They also represent, happily and so often, a re affirmation of love. What is really at issue then here, as everywhere else, is whether a decision is adequately informed and considered. Yes that attends to what might result, but it also attends to what the change in lifestyle (parenting) means. The decision can and should be considered in risk terms, but also in terms of chronology as well-what this adds to the story of how we have chosen to live.

Mature cuckold couples narrate their story to themselves, they affirm and re affirm who we are through what they do. They check out whether this is truly who they are and what they want. I believe it to be as profound as the deliberations that someone who confronts whether they are gay, bisexual or such. Interestingly, I believe, they often do that more considerately than many of non cuckold lifestyle couples who bump along in a relationship without careful consideration of what they are together and who they are to each other. There are indeed many children born into families where the husband is not the father. The social experiments happen most often (I think) amongst those who haven’t understood themselves so well, who haven’t honestly confronted needs and abilities, and who haven’t thought of sex as a gift as well as a pleasure. Precisely because intelligent cuckold couples take risks, accepting another male into their lives, they think harder about what they want and why. They think about the three way relationship looking in as it were.

Cuckold lifestyle is a slippery slope for the unreasoning person -but I don’t think it need be so if couples use blogs like this, if they demand a lot of thought too on the bull’s part. From what I understand about the situation shared in this thread there has been a lot of thinking about the three way relationship over a long period of time. I do sense here a lot of emotional intelligence, about needs and feelings, and that seems reassuring. It has required great bravery to post on this in the blog and of course I don’t think that Tigerman advocates bull mating as the norm practice for all cuckold couples.

This brings us then to mating as a part of cuckold lifestyle psyche (something beyond Tigerman’s post). To have the bull mate the hot wife is arguably the hottest possible driver in cuckold fantasy. It represents the ultimate power of a bull, the ultimate wantoness/instinct/insistence on needs on the part of the cuckoldress and the ultimate submission/humiliation on the part of the cuckold. Even amongst cuckold lifestyle couples who never plan to proceed to have children this way, its my guess that it is a periodic and a very intense shared fantasy. The fact that a couple who dare to think about this, to imagine it as a sexual scene (conceiving/pregnant tummy and birth) will automatically slide towards it in reality is I think fallacious. There are important checks and balances in play. Bull’s worry about litigation, hot wives about being abandoned and cuckold’s about losing all self respect and control as their status goes public big time. In my experience it takes a good while before a hot wife in particular would ever consider this, despite the urges felt during ovulation. Sure if less reasoning individuals engage in the cuckold lifestyle problems ensue-but those problems occur everywhere for such folk, affairs, use of drugs or alcohol, all the wayward choices that are possible.

Fantasizing about this feels like playing with fire. It is sexy because it so dangerous. It is sexy because it challenges norms and taboos-about who we are and what we can be like. But for good or ill we are blessed with imagination. Imagination has both triggered our greatest angst as human beings and nurtured creativity too. Imagination has enabled the human brain to speculate and speculation enables us to ponder what could result. It has enabled us to plan, to act AND to decide not to act. Fantasy is a mental rehearsal and it facilitates speculation. What would it be like if…? Back in the caves they painted magical images to rehearse and control the hunt. Today, we exercise fantasies (our rehearsals) to sustain our sex drive with one another, over decades (back then you were probably dead by forty). Fantasy serves a purpose, we should respect and use it-but understand too the risks. When couples understand what a fantasy offers, when they feel in control of it, they can enjoy it too.