Re: Understanding Myself As A Cuckold

Why do we want this is a very interesting question.

I encouraged my lovely wife into a relationship with a more dominant and experienced man who took her and made her his for six amazing years. She fell deeply in love with him. They had an incredible sex life. he awakened feelings in her that she had never known including maternal feelings and he gave her a child. For most of that time I was completely denied but early on I was able to taste this man inside my wife and feel her body change as she accommodated him. I can honestly say the whole cuckold experience, from driving her to her first night with him to being with her as she gave birth to another mans baby was incredible, deliciously arousing, shameful, exciting, painful at times and I wouldn’t have missed a moment of it.

but why?

I  can see some early markers. My parents were very open about their bodies and sex. I remember very early being aware of my parents fucking and finding it strange and exciting. I had older sisters and would see them getting excited about meeting boyfriends and hear about their encounters.

When I met my wife we were both virgins and very much in love but she gave her virginity to a college friend. i remember how gutted I was when she told me what she’d done but also how aroused I was. I became very possessive but my fantasies were all about other men fucking her. As I became more secure in our relationship I encouraged her interest in other men. I love to see the subtle signs of excitement, the flirting and courting, the tension as they try to work out if she might be available. I also love the shame of my desire being exposed. When friends would challenge me for not ‘sticking up for myself’ when a man would make a pass. When she would tell her friends I wanted her to sleep with other men.

She was always very clear she wasn’t interested in having a family while I was. I wanted her more than I did a family but I do think part of my motivation was finding someone who could ‘fuck some sense into her’. I am a gentle, easy going type but imagined (and liked) the idea of her being roughly handled, perhaps a little degraded. She’s very proper in many ways and I am sure I wanted to find her slutty side. I always found the process of coaxing her into sex rather trying and would often be left frustrated if she wasn’t in the mood. I wanted her to be more receptive and actively seek sex but this wan’t happening in our relationship. I think about sex a lot and for me it is very much a mental and emotional activity. I am very jealous and I do think part of the attraction was overcoming my fear of losing her. Then there is the whole issue of giving up control, seeing where this takes us without any influence (or responsibility) for the outcome.

I’m very clear I’m not at all gay. I just don’t fancy men. But I do relate to women and often in my fantasies imagine I have a vagina and am being fucked. Interestingly I often feel a strange and exciting physical sensation deep in my abdomen and later find that this coincides with my wife experiencing an orgasm.

I think the success of the relationship she found six months after we married showed that she wanted many of the same things as me. She chose an older, larger, more dominant and experienced man. She was sexual with him from very early on, fucking him bareback on their second date. She became very open and excited about her sex life. Quite happily coming home dripping semen, telling her friends I had encouraged her to take a lover. He taught her to deepthroat him, take him anally. He was rough with her, taking her by force at times. He dominated her physically but also emotionally, encouraging her to deny me and to become pregnant by him. things she would never have considered. I’ve probably not been as excited as the evening I sent her off, knowing she was ovulating and that she would be coming home pregnant.

So the why for me is complex but perhaps can be summed up by the idea of outsourcing my masculine dominant desires to a man who could carry them off, while identifying with my wife and vicariously enjoying her seduction and fulfillment. Whatever the reasons I was probably the most sexually fulfilled I have ever been for those years when he alone was fucking her regularly and well and my role was confined to enjoying their pleasure.