Re: Wife is having Lover’s Child

It has been some months since I updated our story, what with the work that I do, Christmas and a car accident that that my arm had to be in plaster for weeks I have not been able to get on this site very much. And both sides of Christmas, I had to fly to Seattle on business, so please accept my apologies.

Good heavens Matt! Have you been talking to Carol? Because that is pretty much what she said to me when we had our long talk. She did say that she thought I was being a little over sensitive (brittle?) and should just let things evolve between all three of us. She wasn’t angry with me but she did point out that I can be a little intense about my love and devotion and that she thought I ought to just relax a bit and take things less seriously. I was also astounded by what she told me next.

“Love and devotion are wonderful qualities that you have ‘D’ but you do take things to extreme. For example, I never meant for you to wear that cage on your Willy for ever, or any of the other ones you have had; it was only ever meant as to be a bit of fun for a few days or when you help me get ready for dates with Onye. You know! To stop you getting all excited.”

I was surprised by what she told me. “I thought you wanted me to wear it. I thought you liked it!”

“I do,” she laughingly replied, “I also like coffee but I don’t drink it all day!”

I thought that was a rather peculiar analogy but the message was clear. She was lying too – she does drink coffee all day, but that’s another matter.

This seems to resonate with what you say about me being self absorbed which is something I never realized, but from my conversation with Carol it appears that this may be the case.

I will take you up on one comment in your otherwise very incisive and constructive advice. I didn’t mean to imply that other Cuckolds were less so than I, or that the giving of their wife to another man was somehow of lesser importance to them. If that is the impression I gave, I sincerely apologise, and because I know that men who love wives who also have relations with other men have to make enormous emotional sacrifices.

I have also taken your very good advice and become more relaxed around Onye and we seem to get along pretty well although I still feel that expecting to be best buddies with someone who is banging my wife is just a bit too much. There has been a change in him as well; he now seems to be more content and, dare I say it of a professional footballer, domesticated. What with my absences and my busted arm I have not been able to lend my usual assistance to Carol and attending to our lovely Abike so it is obvious that Onye has learnt a few skills, unsurprisingly those around her.
Carol has changed too. They make love as often as they have ever done, but she is now less demanding (rampaging is probably a better way of describing it) and I can see in her a higher level of tenderness towards him than before. It is as if she has made a decision about Onye, so asked her what was on her mind; her reply came as a total shock.

“If I didn’t love you ‘D’, I would have married Onye a long time ago. I know that I am his Mistress but I want our love to be formally recognized, and I do love him – you know that don’t you?”
I stood and stared at her lovely face, “Are you divorcing me?” I managed to stutter out as a deepening gloom descended over me.

“No!” She looked into my face, “Why on earth would you think that?”

“Just what you said, about formal recognition. I don’t understand why you are bringing this up, because you are married to me. Unless we divorce he cannot be your Husband, and I shall not divorce you. Is that understood?” I was starting to get angry from the hurt I just felt.

“Hold on Cowboy, who’s talking about divorce. We just want our love and commitment recognized, that is all.” I could tell that she was regretting bringing it up.

“You know ‘D’, if I could, I would like to have two Husbands.”

My reply was quick and to the point. “That’s illegal in every country in the world, so that’s not going to happen!”

She didn’t reply at first, but I could tell she was thinking of something.

“Do you recall giving me to Onye when we started on the journey of making Abi?”

How could I forget. The white underwear and thin dress were a wonderful memory for me. Saying those words that effectively confirmed me as a cuckold are still imprinted in my brain. I had given him the key to the house and then had spoken those fateful words – “…… the other present is my wife, who I now give to you.” And I have to admit he had made full use of his present over the past year, much to Carol’s delight.

“Of course, it was a wonderful night and I shall always remember you going to him in the way that you did.” I meant it too.

“Do you think that you could find another way of giving me away, formally and with a ceremony?”

I had to tell her the truth, “There is no organization that I know of that will do that, and for that type of marriage to be recognized. Sorry!”

Carol was insistent “You’re good at research, couldn’t you at least try?”

“I’ll see what I can do. But I promise nothing.”
She then smiled, kissed me gently on the lips. “We’re depending on you. Onye and me! Please try!”

I smiled up at her as she ascended the stairs to join Onye in bed.

“What the ‘effing’ hell am I going to do about that?” I thought to myself. The truth is I don’t know where to start, so if there is anybody out there in ‘Cuckold Marriage Land’ that knows anything about this, please let me know. I know there are such things as Cuckold Weddings, but they are for enjoyment and loving affirmation between a couple, the cuckold and their friends. They are not recognized legally. What can I do?