Marriage Evolved › discussion › Lifestyle Discussions › a litle help required

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    • nigelcuck
        December 2, 2013 at 4:54 am
        Post count: 47
        #9625

        Hi All , I have been cuckolded for many years now , though more like an affair in that my wife has had a long term lover. I did not always know about this but found out a while back then there was a lull and recently I have found again she is still seeing her lover and having sex. For many years we have been estranged emotionally in that there has been little personal intimacy. However this time when I discovered her infidelity I asked her to cuckold me and make me her cuckold. She was well aware of the term and what it meant she even entered into intimacy with me with some tease and mild denial. Personal closeness and intimacy returned , years of estrangement dropped away.. Anyone who has ever experienced marital estrangement will know what I mean. Anything to do with our past is shunned such as shared musical moments and so on. It is a very bad place to be. Intimacy such as hand holding is gone and so on. This usually happens when the man takes another woman. However when I agreed to cuckold or suggested it intimacy returned, all of it all that was lost. So Ithought good this has worked then strange things started to happen. My wife wanted me as a man became much more sexual for me It was not a case of good I have a bull now and a cuckold it was more I have my husband and want him. Cuckold chats started to turn around to what she could do for me how to excite me moving off the cuckold space quickly. She literally cannot keep her hands off me . However she still wants her bull there is no question of her giving him up. It is not that cuckolding has turned me into a pantie wearing submissive wimp man which has enabled her to have great sex with her lover. It is more like agreeing to cuckolding has given me the kick up the ass to adore her more and the tease denial has enabled her to interact with me by touch much more so It is as if at last she feels like a woman with me and I am giving her the attention she needs as a woman because I simply desire her more when she cuckolds me. Therefore her love and affection for a man is down to how much he adores her not how submissive he is, submission can be just a cold man’s method of turning on to a woman whereas bulls may not need this and certainly a bull who is unfamiliar with her. Cuckolding works as it keeps me interested in her and that is what she wants Once I show the appropriate interest she will do the rest and treat me like a man properly. The difficulty for me is there is no submissive kick in this It saves my marriage and brings back intimacy but does not lead to a dom sub situation classic cuckolding. I would love comments

      • jezz
          December 8, 2013 at 1:24 am
          Post count: 238
          #11210

          Hi Nigel, If this blog is more than a form of voyeurism-and I think it is-then it exists to help people understand how they feel, who they are and what they believe they need. Clearly though its not a psychoanalytical couch, nor a marital guidance service. So my thoughts are shared with humility, I am not a counsellor, and they are only a speculation. I wonder whether it is as easy to discuss with your wife why you wish to be cuckolded, where the desire comes from? Asking her to do so might be the simpler part. But to share more honestly, is to venture into something much less comfortable. Is this bound up with deep self doubts, does it have an origin earlier, and your understanding of women-those that seem the most attractive. There are endless explanations of the cuckold desire, but knowing your own, so that you could honestly share the same might be essential if you ask her to include an element of that in your future relationship. Helping her to understand what fuels you can help to sustain what she finds desirable maybe?

          Its important too I think to enquire what she finds exciting, needful and appealing. There may here be an element of the hunt. Perhaps she is very excited by the idea of being pursued, being competed for, and teasing, choosing, changing her mind. It seems to me that human beings are strongly affected by such things-the hormones run strong and then afterwards its difficult in a marriage to replicate that excitement, to sustain the desire in such a potent form. Is it then best to talk about that, and to explain what drives you, the feeling of chasing from a few steps back, competing against a better suitor. I think it great that she finds desire again for you, even if it is in a startling form. Affection and insight are both important I believe.

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