A serious problem I face as a cuckold , please advise me

I do think she is a normal woman who is just looking to have a straight husband and to live a normal life ,but seeing that she is married to you,she is just using you to get to men and to look for exactly what type of men she wants, If she ever find a man who is a keeper ,then she will leave you!

Cuckolding lifestyle is not for everyone and there are many different levels to it.

Some women cannot separate love from sex. In your case your wife has a strong association to love and sex thus I suggest you concentrate on your relationship and forget about the cuckolding lifestyle. I think your relationship to your wife is most important.

Hi I sympathise with you. I am not as experienced as you and indeed my wife never entered into a ds relationship but similar has happened to me. My wife claimed to love me but took a lover. having read her phone messages she was very intense with him want ing to hold him kiss him and so on. She does not kiss me at all but claims to love me if pushed. She did not want to leave me nor did she want me to leave her. I struggled with this for years and can only find one explanation . Women only love alpha men by that I men men who they have not domesticated or made into pets. A woman’s love is very special and only given to selected men. When they love a man it is entirely different to the affection or attention a cuckold feels. A cuckold receives a certain amount of sexual atention but does not experience the joy of being loved by someone, that is totally different. I have been loved by a woman and know what it feels like and it is not what I feel from my cuckoldress. Sadly we cuckolds may find ourselves in marriages where we are not really loved but make the best of it. Imagine if you had never eaten chocolate but the taste and the experience was described to you. No matter how much it was described it would not be the same as eating it for yourself. The bull is eating the chocolate in this comparison, you or I will never know what that is like with this woman. I suspect you have forgotten what it is like to be really loved by a woman to be sort of selected for love and made special. I have almost forgotten and almost expect I will never taste that again. Cuckolding gives you a thrill which covers for the lack of love. It works while it lasts. If you ask me what will happen in your relationship I would say for her boredom will settle in She may just leave it at that and stop being interested in sex or she will look for love. A woman needs to love simple as that whereas a man needs to be loved. I would say from my experience a woman’s need to love is greater much greater than her need to be loved. To some extent women receive more general love than men in day to day life. Men really want to be loved and by love I mean made to feel special by someone else. I personlly believe , and some would disagree, that most cuckoldresses are just normal women who for whatever reason found themselves with men they do not love. As time goes on they simply need a man they can love and will play any game they have to to get that feeling even if this means playing at cuckolding.Cuckolds like me find themselves with women who do not love them and learn to make the best of a very bad situation by sexualising it. It is good for me that sites like this exist otherwise I would suffer in silence at least I can fantasise that there is some biological or sociological reason for my situation and for some crazy reason that thought is sexual.My wife is exactlylike your partner when she is not with someone or seeing someone she is submissive and would like me to be dominant but that is only frustration she is making a decent hand at trying to make it work as she would like. This leads to more frustration which I would be sure spils over into domestic life. When a woman doe snot love a man it will not work simple as that no matter what you do. I would bet that most cuckolding scenarios end with the breakup of the marriage or coupling when the wife /partner runs off with the bull.

Well, that was a pretty depressing explanation of cuckolding. If that is the case, then why enter it, unless one’s self image is so low that one is afraid to seek the love he desires. Successful, long term cuckolding, it seems to me, is only going to work if the original couple is solid. Otherwise, as you have mentioned, the relationship seems up for grabs.

Matmagic99 hit it on the nail head-that a relationship originally must be solid before contemplating cuckolding. Regardless on the type, a solid relationship is essential. Cuckolding is not for everyone, and women will respond differently.
Many women develop a strong bond with a man through sex which can lead to the woman falling in love with that partner. It’s just a matter of wiring, and cuckolding would not be something to explore if the woman has a tendency to go that route. Everyone is different.

True it is a depressing view of cuckolding but cuckolding is not a neat scenario. I believe most women have a strong sense of self respect based on the possible fact that most women are essentially submissive in the sexual space. Once a woman is aroused by a man this kicks in therefore she is generally selective as she knows this might happen. Also most women can control sex and I believe do not masturbate as many men do. Most of the time the average women gets on with things and is not preoccupied with sex. However women have as I said before a stronger desire to love someone than men have. Maybe this is maternal. I havnt met a woman yet who does not love puppies and kittens. Women do not frequent porn sites i.e. special women porn sites, there are some, but women looking at mens penises is not a big thing. They like men who show them the appropriate attention and men who they feel they can love in a way only women understand.Women also have a naughtly wicked side but usually when they are together safely as a group they will dress sexy and enjoy the attention of men. There are of course women who are insecure and need the attention of men to make them feel good . The insecurity comes from somewhere else in their lives. If a woman is like that and she cuckolds or agrees to it she will be insecure enough to leave you if the bull wants her to, why would she stay. I do believe however role play cuckolding can exist between very strong couples. She plays at being a whore and you play at being a submissive cuckold. Played well it may even seem real. The difference is timing role play will last for the agreed time and end at the agreed time say one night one week or whatever. Personally I believe this would be best carried out by a professional male escort then everybody knows where they stand.

It could be worth going back to the beginning and asking very honestly and probably over a great meal, before a winter fire, exactly what is sexy for you both. You say that she has been dominant with you and seemed to excel at that. The question then arises, was she playing a good role or was this something deep rooted in her needs- to belittle you. I’ve offered a few points about this sort of issue in Luvr’s guides, but I do think (regrettably for I prefer them) women who get an instinctive buzz out of cuckolding and humiliating are fewer than those who like to be passive and simply be taken and perhaps even owned by another guy. If believe (but others tell me if I’m wrong), that the more common female fantasy is a submission one, even a rape one, where she is taken, used and completely abandoned to the lust that the alpha male evokes. It would be a surprise if this wasn’t the case, given that males have been socialised to be aggressive and females (for good or ill) to be passive.

If she is a deeply passive but sensual lady, then you are not I think going to make her an instinctive, as opposed to a play acting, dom. Many such ladies can learn to humiliate a bit, but its not truly instinctive. Cucks forget this when they focus on their driving need to be made a fool. She needs to submit, just like you need to submit. She may be very disappointed in you being who you are, but that may be because she hasn’t pondered so long on the complexity and the richness of sex. It may be that you have been asking her to come a long way towards your needs, rather than using your antenna as regards her needs. So the question then is, is there something that you could do to help her cuckold you which met that female passive need, and your need too? Can that something be the thing that will help her to go on wanting you in some regard, whilst also going with a guy who really knows how to handle her properly?

When I service a wife I sometimes find that it is the separation of contact- what I do with her pussy and what he is allowed to do that is important. This is the most intimate thing that goes on in her head, how she is different with the two men. I insist that the cuck is allowed lick only treats down there and that I do the fucking. Selfish, arrogant and erotic I know, but it saves confusion and for the passive wife it is deeply erotic too. She surrenders to me and I make her husband do that as well. But it isn’t a formula that in your situation works through well. Strange, oh so strange as it seems, you need to help her surrender to one of your desires too. She needs to feel blameless for all this lust that she evokes. So you need to tell her that you insist on licking sex, that this is your thing and how you like to use her. She is two men’s play thing. She won’t believe you at first, and you won’t believe yourself either, but you have to go for it I think. She needs to submit (argument one). If she is to remain interested in you then submission has to be some part of that too (argument two).

Now to the the falling in love bit. Its my guess and no more, that if she feels she is still submitting to you in some way, that the falling in love thing will be less of a risk. She may desperately want you to lead in some regard, and the burning urge to lick her wet sex out after a guy like me has filled it, could be that. Show her that her wayward habits evoke lust in you too-centred on oral pleasures which you adore. After that, I think you need to think together what sort of guy is right as her bull. Have the guys been younger, arrogant and less sophisticated in how they work with her mind? Have they played egoistic games that confuse her? My lot have a load to answer for? A mature, probably an older bull, who is consistent about how he wishes to take her, to enjoy her again and again, is probably the solution. That certainly ain’t going to be just mechanical. She needs to go out with him, to feel that she is his. Its such a buzz for the passive woman. But if he’s the right bull he rehearses the ideas that keep her centred in your marriage too. If i understand this sort of scenario happening I might say, ‘I want you to be a slut with him, have him lap it up from between your legs. You’re mine to gift and that’s what turns me on babe.’ You could say, ‘shit, that sounds like pass the parcel’, but perhaps that is where the female psyche is this time?

Anyway-too long a post, but I really hope that it helps you both. I really think that both passive and dom hotwives deserve regular, good sex. I really enjoy taking a hot wife, one who thrills at going with someone this direct about sex. Sometimes talking out the head stuff helps with that. Jezz