Advice please?

Hi there!

I can speak on what happened when we started.

This was an initial worry, and you can find many guides that Live has published that will help with this stage.

More than ever, you need to be sure of yourself, what speaks to you, and that this is that thing that speaks to you.

I’d recommend approaching it as a risk free experiment. Give eachother room to explore, and be ok with mistakes. Neither of you are sure of how you will feel.

What worked for us, was recognizing that we are trying something very intense, and I promised her that, I am aware of what I am allowing, and that I love her. And I promise not to take personal insecurities afterwards out on her.

Communication is key. Make her feel safe, and give yourself time to self reflect as well.

There is nothing wrong with being a cuckold. Or a bull , or a hot wife for that matter. This may be your calling!

You can be your own worst enemy with this at times, but be real, be honest, and don’t let insecurity and anger get the best of you.

I know you said you are more concerned with her concerns but, from personal experience, you might be surprised with how you react yourself.

She will be as comfortable as you allow her to be. Everything I have said so far has been very.. gloomy BUT! That all being said, this can be a very special level of trust to give eachother.

Reassurance will be the most important thing you can give her right now. I hope you have an amazing journey!

An easier way to reasure is is to go forwad at a speed you are both comfortable with.. Is there a gathering spot near where she can be hit on by men while you are near, dancing if possible?…then maybe some kissing, making out so she can judge your reactions to her being in another mans arms?.. You don’t have to start right out by her jumping in bed with a guy..just take your time to reassure each other and yourselves..

Luigi,
so nice to hear. thanks for educating yourself. have you shared your epiphany with your wife. how did she respond. As I recall you were harsh towards her for being with someone else. Have you apologized for your outburst(s)? Doe she feel safe to explore relationships outside your marriage? I’m eager to hear more.

She needs to see the inputs , meetings can help , also online chats as well and hope she will get into the style in real, i guess privacy is her concern which may make her think you would be leaving her.

It’s natural to have such concerns, it’s a big step for anyone going from one dynamic in a safe and secure relationship to a different dynamic. As Coffee pointed out, key is communication and no pressure.

In many ways your wife sounds similar to my wife. She enjoyed playing the field and one night stands before we met but then she committed to being faithful to me. It’s not that she stopped finding other men attractive, it’s just a conscious decision to protect what she has. Over time those feelings only increase so the idea of indulging in the pleasure of other men can seem too risky.

But, with communication comes reassurance and then her allowing herself to enjoy the idea for herself. The goal is to take it from your fantasy to become your shared fantasy so she can see how much you genuinely enjoy it, how turned on it makes you, how you react in a positive way, how it genuinely isn’t something that you are threatened by.

Also, I’ve found movement happens in bursts and often when you don’t expect it.

My wife started against the idea, the risks were too high but she was willing to indulge me by making it part of our roleplay in bed. As I pointed out to her, I love and respect her too much to keep secrets and so I wanted to share this side of me no matter how embarassing and difficult it is to open up to her about. She appreciated my honesty, she liked the idea of an honest husband not keeping secrets and so she was happy to indulge my fantasy in bed.

Then it became a normal part of our sex life. If she wanted to turn me on, she knew what to talk about. She walk start to talk about it more than me, it was something we enjoyed together.

But hearing me tell her she’s hot is one thing, what broke down the fantasy barrier was a couple of things. Firstly, she asked about my chats on a chat client and so I showed her. I think she was expecting it to be full of porn of other women but she loved that I genuinely was talking about her, she was reassured and excited, especially seeing what this other man was saying to a few of her pictures. She said I should have chosen better pictures so I asked her to pick one or two to share which she did and then I suggested she install the chat client and she can monitor our chat in a group chat, no pressure to join in. She was happy to. Less than a week later I was disappointed that she hadn’t said anything but then I discovered she had started 1 on 1 chatting with him and even flashed him and started to have some erotic conversatins with him.

You might try doing that because its a step change and makes it more real actually talking to other men.

I suggested they meet for coffee and she said “NO WAY”. The next day she suggested places to meet him, a pool hall since she had picked up that he enjoys pool.

Women can say one thing but feel another. No pressure but reassure and give comfort.

Meeting one bull and seeing how I was excited and not angry was a reassurance and encouragement and she went on to meet several more over the following weeks. We also went to a social and met other cucks, bulls and hotwives which helped to normalise it.

You’re doing the right things and progressing. It’s a fine line, not pressuring but also not being so laid back that it doesn’t progress. Show her that it’s a fun journey you can take together, show her how it’s an important part of you, something she can love and appreciate and enjoy with you.