Can I ever be my wife’s lover again?

I first met my wife whilst I was on a break in Durban, South Africa five years ago. I was based in Lusaka in the final year of a four year assignment in Zambia and I needed a week or two in a somewhat normal country and found a small but elegant beachside guest house on the internet and booked in for a week. The owner promised to send her daughter to meet me at the airport in Durban and drive me to the guest house. There was no direct flight from Lusaka to Durban so I had to fly into Johannesburg and then transfer to a domestic flight. It wasn’t particularly taxing, but by the time I finally landed at the Durban airport I was glad someone was there to meet me. Little did I know then that she would end up being my wife in a few months.

Heidi was slim, in her mid-thirties, blonde, deeply tanned and dressed like she had just come in from the bush with tan trousers, a loose t-shirt and boots that were made for hill walking, not strutting down a fashion runway. By chance she had just arrived that day on a two week break from her job at an upmarket safari camp near Kruger Park and had yet to change out of her work clothes.

To make a long story short, we hit it off immediately, stayed up all night long drinking and talking and, just when the sun was coming up she took off her clothes, walked over to where I was sitting and unzipped my trousers and gave me the best blow job I had in years.

We spent the following two weeks in bed with each other between long walks on the beach and nights out at restaurants. When it came time to finally say goodbye, Heidi asked if there was a future for us. When I said there certainly was she asked if I would be faithful to her. I told her I would and asked if she would be faithful to me. She told me the best she could do was try but her willpower often let her down. She then told me that she had a couple of ‘fuckbuddies’ at the safari lodge but they were married so they didn’t pose a threat to me. According to her, they just came over to her little apartment after work, drank some wine and had sex with her. She said one of them was David, the son of the owner of the lodge, and that made it impossible for her to say no to him as it would threaten her job and the other was, Jimmy, a handsome ranger that she would almost find it impossible to say no to. She told me both of them were very well endowed. When I asked her if they were larger than me she just giggled and said most men were far larger than me but tried to reassure me by saying that, although I wasn’t very well endowed, most men with big cocks were arrogant assholes and only cared about sex, not about forming a long-term relationship.

I was kind of taken aback but the best I could think was to ask her to be at least honest with me about things. She promised she would and she lived up to her word. After I finally got back to my digs in Lusaka, after a couple of long flights and a dodgy taxi ride over potholed roads in the pitch black of night, I turned on my phone and got two texts.

The first one read: ‘David came over, we talked for a bit, and I went down on him. He wanted to fuck me but I felt funny about that’.

The second one read: ‘Jimmy came over after he saw David leave and screwed my brains out. Hope you had a good flight back’.

Three months later I proposed to Heidi and she accepted. When she got back to the safari lodge after the break we had been on she told the owner she was going to resign and the staff threw her a party, not quite believing she had found somebody who wanted to marry instead of just fucking her on the side. Of course the engagement didn’t stop Jimmy and David fucking her. Every night I would receive a text telling me that she had sex with at least one of them.

I had gone back to Lusaka with a chastity device fitted securely on my cock and balls. Heidi found it when she went to an all women’s sex store in an upmarket neighbourhood north of Durban and was thrilled when the salesgirl told her what it was. It was one of those plastic ones which actually are very uncomfortable to wear over a long period but I was committed to the relationship and gladly let her keep both keys and promised to not fiddle with it while we were apart.

Despite the fact that she was having affairs with two men at the time she couldn’t stand the thought of me even getting aroused by another woman in her absence. I ended up wearing it up until the day we were married and I will never forget the feeling when it first came off. I felt like a virgin. On our wedding night I don’t think I lasted more than thirty seconds the three times we made love. It was particularly hard wearing it in the mornings while I was still in Lusaka and Heidi was at the safari lodge and the text would come in the morning telling me how one of her loves had enjoyed her pussy or lips the previous night.

Since her notice time was six weeks and out marriage was set for four weeks away, after we were married she had to return to complete the final two weeks of her contract. The wedding ring did little to deter Jimmy and David, who continued to fuck her up until the day she left the lodge.

Five years later we are now based in London and my wife has had over 18 relationships ranging from one night stands to three year affairs. Since she was raised in a macho culture she seems only physically attracted to dominant men. If you don’t know the type, the guys she likes are married, totally alpha and expect their wives to be completely faithful to them but have no problem having sex with a beta male’s wife.

She is quite happy that I am submissive, take care of all the bills, the cleaning (including changing the cum stained sheets after her loves leave) and cooking and buying her clothes, hold-up stockings and lingerie, but it has been over three years since she has had sex with me. It’s just not in her realm of possibilities and it’s something she refuses to discuss. In fact, it is as if she doesn’t account for any sexual desire I may have and considers me sort of a neuter, if that makes sense at all. To add insult to injury, she has two large dildos on her bedside table that she uses to get herself off. Both of them are twice as large as my prick when it is hard. It is humiliating to see them when I make the bed in the morning. I often find them scattered under the duvet.

The idea of sex with me just doesn’t interest her in the slightest. It is a closed subject we no longer really talk about. Since she has relocated to London she has transformed herself from a sweet innocent looking blonde South African woman to a very sexily clad high heeled woman with a certain reputation. She was barred from the local pub because two men got in a fight over who would take her home, she has had irate wives threaten her and she has had lovers who have filmed her and posted the videos online.

What irks me most is the lack of respect some of her lovers have towards me. They act as if they are doing me a favour by fucking my wife. I have been woken up in the middle of the night to answer phone calls from men demanding they speak to my wife and even had the occasional 2:00 am knock on the door from a lover who wants a quick screw (she never turns them down). She currently has three lovers, all of them married. I am still the one that wines and dines her, as her lovers don’t want to be seen in public with Heidi, mainly because of her somewhat dubious reputation and also because they know it isn’t necessary to spend any money on her because the sex comes with no strings attached. The problem is that when I do take her out I am often not the one she goes home with. That happened again last week when I took her out for drinks and a handsome younger guy picked her up and took her home and screwed her brains out.

There was one instance when her lover, Alex, took her out but that was to a swing club. She claims she has no recollection of what happened and thinks she only made love to Alex once in front of a crowd, although knowing how Heidi gets when she has had too much wine, I very much doubt that.

Heidi was gone from a wayward wife to a full scale cuckoldress. She has all the traits now: spoiled, sulky and truculent until, of course, she has a real man’s cock in her hands. That’s when her face lights up and she knows what her role life is.

To be honest, I haven’t seen my wife without her clothes on for over three years. The only chance I have to see her nude is in the videos and pictures her lovers take of her. She sometimes shares these with me if I buy her something nice or do something special for her.

I know I will never be able to become her regular lover but I would like some advice as to how I could occasionally convince Heidi to have occasional sex with me or to spark some sort of physical relationship between us. Do you have any advice?