- This topic has 18 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 10 months ago by
pery.
pery.-
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nigelcuck
Anyone who has read my utterances before will know I often play devils advocate with the entire idea of cuckolding.
However there may be some fundamental truths to be told and cuckolds may need to be aware of them.
Firstly sex for men and women is different by that I mean it has a different meaning in the brain or is represented differently. The man is turned on visually, hence the success of porn etc. When turned on he naturally wants to have sex he has a craving to insert himself into the woman, the nerve ends on his penis etc send signals to his brain which make him want this experience. The woman on the other hand has a physical desire to take something in, embrace something, close in on it, hold and hug it tight. It could be said she is nurturing the sperm even before she is pregnant.
The bull of course understands this as he plays the natural role very well.
But what of the cuckold? that strange quirk of nature, the man who doesn’t want to insert himself in the woman. The man who prefers denial to that which comes naturally to him.
Cuckolds very well know what is going on, the are enjoying the edging that point between excitement and orgasm which they hold often for days.
All this is very well if practiced between an understanding couple, i.e. a woman who knows this is the man’s choice that is the way he is and she accepts that.
But what about the wanabees those men who are partnered with women who don’t really understand this and may go along with it thinking that sexual freedom is not so bad.
The danger is, and it is a real danger, that the woman misinterprets your fetish and just assumes you are impotent. Yes impotent, the worst thing that can happen to a woman is to be married to an impotent man. That is to her a man who cannot get it up or sustain himself. Either that or a man who has lost the desire for women due to illness or depression. He is useless to her and she will reject him. The danger is you will not be rejected because you are a cuckold but rather because you are an impotent man. Beware wanabees…………………..
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CIP
Really? you think the worst thing is “Yes impotent, the worst thing that can happen to a woman is to be married to an impotent man.”??????
No offence, but you are way off brother. Ive been married 26+ years. Of all the things that could be even remotely considered one of the worst by me or my wife would be impotence. If sex defines your relationship(s) to that degree, you have lead a very sheltered experience in life.
What about the COUNTLESS long time committed couples that have simply aged, or due to an illness the man is impotent? Being a MAN has MANY definitions and if the biggest one in your life is the ability to have/maintain a hard on, you have a LOT to learn.
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nigelcuck
Thank you for your reply and I am sorry you took it out of context or that I didn’t explain the context, most likely my fault.
I am not discussing people who have disabilities or are depressed and so on leading to impotency, not at all……
I am talking about an otherwise healthy relationship with two healthy people where one is a wanabee cuck, who finds sites like this and starts down the route of self denial with a woman who is not to sure what is going on.
The woman may just decide he is impotent. I do believe there are men who are impotent for a large number of non medical reasons, it may be he lacks sufficient sexual drive for purely personality reasons maybe upbringing.
Maybe I was a bit strong by saying the worst thing that can happen to a woman is to be married to an impotent man, but I certainly believe that a woman who is married to a man who displays no sexual interest in her must be depressing to say the least. Women do like that sort of attention maybe more than us men think.If the male just suddenly stops wanting sex and prefers to masturbate in an otherwise healthy relationship surely this will be upsetting.
Please take everything I say and I mean everything in the light of cuckolding and the cuckold fetish. I am not talking at any time about straight vanilla couples where impotence has happened. This is entirely about cuckolding and the fetish that some men, including me, have got tied into entirely by their own choice. I am also talking about personal experience where the pursuit of this fetish has led me personally to prefer denial and masturbation to full blown sex with my wife. I have noticed she perceives this as impotence and not the fetish it is……
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CIP
Being a cuckold or not, the ability to get it up doesnt define a MAN. A man steps up to responsibilities, takes care of his family, is nurturing in many ways (sexually can just be one of them).
Maybe you are just mass generalizing from fantasy, your experiences or whatever, but I still say you are way off on these statements.
I have been a cuck to my wife for many years, before that we were swingers, before that we were monogamous. What we do, or dont do, is just a sexual lifestyle that we adapt and grow into. I still say a man isnt defined by the size, ability, longevity of his dick in a truly successful relationship, no matter what everyones fantasy on these sites brings them to believe. If sex is what defines a true relationship, then it might be time to examine that relationship as a whole.
Attention and sex are NOT one and the same.
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CIP
“I am talking about an otherwise healthy relationship with two healthy people where one is a wanabee cuck, who finds sites like this and starts down the route of self denial with a woman who is not to sure what is going on.” <<<<< this statement alone shows a non-healthy relationship from the get go and is just bringing to light that this couple lacks in communication skills. I know couples in the car hobby that are this way too,,,,, we call them Corvette Widows. If people dont have a solid relationship to begin with in general, this lifestyle wont fix it, and it isnt going to be destroyed by the actual inpotency, its much deeper than that, its being destroyed by the lack of COMMUNICATION.
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nigelcuck
You are absolutely correct CIP, I agree with you totally, and it is partly for the reasons you state that I posted my original. A lot of couples have communication difficulties not just with sex. In fact a lot of people have communication difficulties in the modern world; there are a lot of very lonely people who exist in their own heads. This is just modern life brought about by lots of things including the needs of the economy, lack of social groups, loss of religious belief rightly or wrongly depending on your viewpoint. I am not a religious person but I do recognise that in times past religious worship and community bonded people together. This was lost by many without any viable replacement.
The danger for some wanabee cuckolds is that they live like all of us in a world where communication is not what it could be and social groups can be non existent, at least of a type which bonds people in a common belief system.
A lonely man desperate for a belief system, something to rely on, may start investigating this and that type of relationship desperately hoping that he can hit on something his wife/partner would enjoy enough to incorporate this in his and her life.
The danger for him is he may let his fantasies run away with him and may start practicing some of the actions of a cuckold, i.e. personal denial. He may also start wanting his wife to dress sexually or more provocatively and so on. The danger, the really big danger, is if he has not communicated this to his wife/partner properly his actions may be misunderstood. His self denial for example may be seen as impotence. There is impotence and there is impotence. There is medical impotence and stress related impotence all of which are understandable.There is however another type of impotence. That is the type which occurs in the man who just does not make the effort. This is easy to understand. A man can just get sexually lazy with his partner, involve himself in other things hobbies and so on. He has in fact lost interest due to lack of practice. A youngish woman, I believe anyhow, is less likely to loss interest in sex as she is hardwired to drive for pregnancy. Again with no communication by the wanabee cuckold the woman may despair at him and may even have an affair not because it is cuckolding but due to apparent lack of interest in her by her husband.
This site is good in that it is the only proper cuckolding lifestyle site I know of. However it can be a bit of a trap for the unwary. There is in some areas here a belief that cuckolding or the desire or need that a woman multipartner is a natural phenomena which applies universally. I don’t think it is.
I would welcome a section on communication and a help section for wanabee cuckolds where things have gone wrong.
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CIP
Thats the same with any lifestyle. As Ive said, we used to run a swingers club. Hardly a day would go by that I would meet a couple that was either their to try and fix a spiraling relationship, or would show up and had never talked about any rules or situations and how to handle it.
The cuckolding desire isnt what will destroy their relationship, its the simply the lack of communication. This would be like someone drowning and ruling the death “lack of oxygen”. Well, yes, I guess you COULD say that, but there was a much deeper reason behind it.
If anyone is thinking about this, OR ANY alternative lifestyle, and you dont have good solid communication AND a secure relationship,,,,,,, someone WILL GET HURT.
Even with good communication, mistakes will happen, but if you can talk over everything, most, if not all, issues can be resolved.
My wife and I talk about everything. We talk about the things we try and enjoy, and we talk about the things that went wrong.
Case in point. When we were both swinging, we decided we needed a break from playing with others for a time being. Well, we had already committed to help out at a friends huge weekend swinger party/porn shoot, so we told most our friends that we were not playing during the party. Well, one guy showed up that my wife had loved playing with in the past (Im pretty sure his 10″ and thickness was the attraction). They, and others were swimming naked in the pool all day, and drinking. I had run up to the store to get food/supplies. When I came back out to the pool, he was having sex with her in the pool. The hostess even saw my look of betrayal on my face. I was clearly upset. Rather than throwing a fit, getting in a fight, I just went into the house, so my wife could at least have fun finishing up. When she came in, I pulled her into a bedroom and explained how I viewed this as cheating, ONLY because we had agreed not to play only the day before. She felt because she had played with Matt before several times that it wasnt the same. We talked it out. She saw my points, I saw hers, doesnt mean anyone was right or wrong, but because we could talk it out, it wasnt a big problem.
I agree with you. Many of these sites tend to be more fantasy than reality and communication resolution needs to be discussed more.
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JandGinSD
There is a very real difference between men and women in how they approach and process satisfying sex. Men can easily detach love from sex, lovemaking from fucking. Most women, hotwives included, require an emotional connection in order to be truly satisfied. Violating taboos can proxy the emotional angle to an extent; thus the very concept of cuckolding her mate, crossing traditional race or class barriers, or doing something particularly social deviant can go a long way for them. Perhaps the cuckold’s male perception of his mate in this regard is quite astute (in helping to select mates for her). Otherwise, or in time, a woman NEEDS to emotionally bond with her bull. There is a definite natural polyandrous component to any serious long term cuckoldress/bull relationship – at least from the viewpoint of the cuckoldress. While the bull might never replace the husband in the mix, the wife will grow to genuinely and intensely love her bull. Of course, the risk is that the bull could supplant the husband in time, just as extramarital lovers of all sorts can for women. Some cuckolds may subconsciously understand that and steer their wives toward men of lower class, income, etc – men for whom they feel safe that their wives would never leave them.
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nigelcuck
I agree with all the comments and would like to comment on communication. Personally my wife and I are very bad at it. I talk a lot, she doesn’t, and she moves off the space of intimate discussions quickly and closes up. I am a great example of how it can go all wrong. My wife does have a lover of her choice. However we have a great functional relationship we rarely fight or argue and day to day life functions very well she has respect for me and me for her and she supports me in life. My difficulty is that she is actually a cuckoldress and she knows she is but I have never been able to move her to discuss the issue. This is partly because the man is not part of the game and would leave her if he knew I knew.
I have thought about this a lot as I work in a job which requires two way communication or the job will not be successful.
Communication is not just talking, we all know that, but what is it. I would say it is the use of words to convey feelings both ways. Communication will only happen when both parties are prepared to use words as a vehicle to convey feelings which lie deeper.
In my case I wish to convey my feelings of sexual emotion or desire for deeper sexual emotion via words. I would like my wife to pick up on this and respond. My wife is hiding her feelings of sexual emotion as they relate to another man and she doesn’t really want me to know how deeply she feels in case I respond badly. Communication deadlock.
So how can this be broken, I will take any advice.
Generally though where there is no deadlock and in respect to cuckolding with a couple not yet involved i.e. the lady has not had a lover yet but the man wishes she would. I would suggest the first barrier to overcome is an agreement that both see sex as entertainment at some level. Sex is not normally entertainment but naturally a spontaneous reaction to circumstances, I believe women like this better they like to be swept away in the moment.
There is a reason why we often shy away from the idea of sex as entertainment, is that we have become accustomed to controlling natural desires as modern society has progressed by the control of nature. We are disciplined and have jobs to do, we fear failure if we are raked with emotions all day long, and sex, could almost be as destabilising as drugs or any other substance abuse.
Cuckolding can of course be a lifestyle choice where the female has a perfectly normal boyfriend and indeed they may not have sex that often or any more often than a normal vanilla couple. The only difference is the husband may be denied sex or may be complacent about the entire thing. The husband quietly gets off on his fantasies and places her on a bigger and bigger pedestal. Indeed that may well be where I am as a cuckold.
However if the male wants the cuckolding to be more than that he will need to convince his wife/partner that they enter into a relationship which is more like sexual entertainment in other words using sex for a purpose other than what was intended. I know that sounds a bit righteous and what was sex intended for???? ……………. However regardless of view the biological purpose of sex is to produce offspring, that is all nature knows, the rest we make up as we go along. However nature did make the process very exciting and enjoyable much more so than required it could be argued. Sex produces some very interesting chemical reactions and creates pleasure which is equal to or exceeds some external substances. Enough so that we can tame the feelings and use them as entertainment.
Many men via masturbation have used sex as entertainment since puberty. I am not convinced that women do this as often or in many cases at all. I believe sex with women is tied into relationships and emotions. The woman needs an entirely all body emotional experience to be satisfied. She needs to feel desirable, beautiful, and sexy she likes to know the man is turned on by her it is an entire experience. Men on the other hand can masturbate and satisfy themselves.
Therefore I do not think a man will get agreement from a woman that sex for her can be seen as entertainment. However the man may get agreement that his sex is for entertainment and she is happy with that, i.e. that he can entertain himself sexually with the knowledge that she is having a normal even loving relationship with another man.
The cuckold needs to convince her that in some way he is either incapable of normal loving sex or that he prefers masturbation, teasing and other forms of sexual entertainment. the cuckold needs to work out in himself why he wants this firstly and convince himself it is ok.
Is the cuckold incapable of loving relationships for whatever reason, and if so should he be concerned about this. Does the cuckold not really love his partner and needs this stimulation to get off on her and is this healthy. Does the partner not love the cuckold and is cold with him but could love someone else.
If I were to put forward a personal opinion it would be that cuckolding comes about when a man has either lost interest in his partner or in some cases the partner is cold sexually and emotionally with the man. The man tries to find something which works and hits on cuckolding.
The other cases of cuckolding arise with highly self aware and liberated people who practice different types of swinging and so on.
So, communication as an expression of feelings two ways via words. Work out where you are first, what is your feelings, honestly. Do you not love her, are you not turned on by her, and do you want to be as you do not want to break up the relationship. Do you love her but she is cold and you want her to love you more. Does she not love you at all and has no feelings for you.
I welcome comments
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CIP
“There is a very real difference between men and women in how they approach and process satisfying sex. Men can easily detach love from sex, lovemaking from fucking. Most women, hotwives included, require an emotional connection in order to be truly satisfied. “
Again, you simply can not generalize like this. My wife and I USED to be swingers. We are completely the opposite than your comment. This is one of the reasons this lifestyle works for us. I never could separate love and sex with myself. I had to have an emotional attachment whereas my wife can have sex with a guy(or gal) at the drop of a hat and not even as much know their name (or care). ALL PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT.
There are MANY women in this lifestyle, as well as many others, that are NOT sexually bound by the close minded beliefs held by society. I know COUNTLESS cougars, hotwives, swingers, etc that view sex completely as recreational, with no emotional attachments whatsoever. Everyone is different, and you will never be able to define them in such broad parameters.
As for helping you and her communicate, I really dont know how to help you and her learn this, because again, all people are different and you and her need to find the key that works for you. Maybe counseling? You dont have to tell the counselor of your lifestyle, but just let them understand you need to learn howe to communicate better. I do agree with you that you talking without her interaction is not communication.
“If I were to put forward a personal opinion it would be that cuckolding comes about when a man has either lost interest in his partner or in some cases the partner is cold sexually and emotionally with the man. The man tries to find something which works and hits on cuckolding.”
This might be YOUR experience, but it isnt even in the same realm as mine.
“The other cases of cuckolding arise with highly self aware and liberated people who practice different types of swinging and so on.”
This would be a LOT better description of our situation.
“So, communication as an expression of feelings two ways via words. Work out where you are first, what is your feelings, honestly. Do you not love her, are you not turned on by her, and do you want to be as you do not want to break up the relationship. Do you love her but she is cold and you want her to love you more. Does she not love you at all and has no feelings for you.”
Again, no where near my relationship description. I love her dearly. I have been married to her for 26 years at the end of this month and neither of us could even imagine it coming to an end on any level. Im totally turned on by her physically and spiritually, as she is me. I actually enjoy her having sex with others (sucks that good HONEST people are hard to find in sexual lifestyles), and she enjoys it as well. When it comes to HER playing with others, we both can separate love from sex, but when it comes to me playing “I” can not separate the difference. No, I do not know why, but honestly, because it works FOR US, I dont try to explore the answers and simply accept that it works FOR US.
In my opinion, I think you are trying to project YOUR experiences, views, and feelings as fact. They are not, they are factual for you, nothing more, nothing less. You can share your experiences as a warning, showing why it worked, or went bad FOR YOU, but you are writing them as if they are statistical facts, and they are not.
Our lifestyle works extremely well for us. Does that mean I think it would work well for everyone else, hell no. Could it work for others with communication skills, probably, but only they can decide.
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CIP
Anything in extreme can ruin a relationship without communication. I would be willing to bet video games have ruined many more relationships than cuckolding ever did.
I reread through your posts, and Im only going to say this because you asked for opinions. Please dont take this as an insult, as it is not meant that way, but rather an outsiders observations. I know you think you are cominication with your wife, and she isnt reciprocating, BUT, you are REALLY opinionated on this lifestyle and if shes seeing this strong opinions shining through, maybe to her its just not worth the debates.
I have a few friends that are this way with politics (we all know a few) and I know I will never sway them as their mind is set solid, so I wont even discuss/debate with them. They view this as I either dont care about politics, or I dont like to debate, but neither is the case. I just understand that its not a discussion , its them stating their views with a closed mind. This doesnt mean Im right and theyre wrong, it means that they are not open to even thinking/seeing things from a different perspective.
Again, I dont know you, but after reading your posts, I just get that same feeling with you. Life isnt black and white, its a full spectrum of colors and if you arent open to at least seeing them, there is no point in explaining them.
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nigelcuck
Thank you for your reply and I do appreciate your opinions, they are helpful.
You have talked a lot about how it is for you and the difference in you and me. You mentioned politics and peoples different views which is interesting as politics actually attempts to find a workable solution to problems by discerning how people are and what are their views in a generalist way. Governments do not legislate generally to help some individual with his or her need or problem. The purpose of legislators is to find out what benefits the greater number or the common good, the difference on emphasis being the political philosophy followed by the politician. Right wing politicians may say a rising tide raises all boats therefore assist big business and we will all be better off, whereas a left wing politician may start at the bottom by the idea that assisting the bottom will also eventually assist the top and everyone in the middle. The emphasis is different but the generalisation re people is the same.
I admit I am generalising re people in this narrow subject. I did say there were enlightened people who are liberated enough to do their own thing on this. I am addressing the majority of vanilla folk who generally live their lives to set patterns often laid down for them.
The value of this site is that it opens up channels for those who have not perhaps made a success of a, traditional, for want of a better word, relationship. It also gives a forum to people in respect to the possibility of viewing life differently in terms of multi partner relationships. In order that we do this though I believe we must look at what is traditional and what is perhaps normal human behaviour. For example what generally is the views of women and sex and how if at all they differ with men, What part does the physical reality play i.e. penis size and so on.
It may be, and you could be correct, that cuckolding is an individual choice by people who have strong relationships and wish to experiment with multi partners. If that is the case and there is no natural process taking place, by which I mean cuckolding is not a natural process at any level, and should remain as a fetish.
If it is a fetish then this is a fetish site for those who use sex as entertainment which of course is perfectly ok, but it is not a site which explores human behaviour to find an alternative or new way to live. In other words it is not a lifestyle site and cuckolding is not a lifestyle but a form of sexual entertainment.
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CIP
Technically, in its purist form, cuckolding is a wife who is unfaithful and without the husbands consent or approval. Pretty sure that would eliminate JUST ABOUT most that come here. The more modern interpretation has made it into a fetish or lifestyle.
You seem to really want to define it all for others, when, self admittedly, you havent even defined it between you and your wife completely.
What you have yet to grasp, no matter how many times I have lay it down, ALL PEOPLE are unique and have their own beliefs and thought processes, and you cant simply put them all in such broad groups because it fits into YOUR beliefs.
Such stereotyping is as foolish as saying all black people eat fried chicken and watermelon and have a HUGE PENIS, all hispanics are illegal and lazy, all orientals have a tiny penis, all Jews are tightwads, and all white males were born with a silver spoon. Some are, some arent, but its all foolish stereotyping from ones own personal beliefs. I cant stop you from thinking it, but I can warn others that it’s stereotypical nonsense.
If you believe the things you say are FACT, please post up any scientific reference studies that show us the numbers, rather than just your interpretations of it all.
And FYI, you COMPLETELY missed the example of using politics as a reference.
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nigelcuck
I do enjoy these morning posts given the time zone difference.
I agree again with what you are saying re different races of people and stereotyping which of course is a wrong thing to do.
Please understand I am not talking about scientific issues here.
Look at what we all have in common at least in the western world. Marriage is still very common and simple boy meets girl romance still takes place. I have grown up children who are very educated and very well travelled between the UK and the USA and other countries, and yet I see no discernible difference between their romantic ties now and when I was young. They seem to strive, in their case for Mr right and cheating even before marriage is a terminal incident.
All I am saying, and I have not got personal on this like you have, is that cuckolding where it is practiced by choice is a fetish a form of sexual entertainment.
There is no scientific evidence that I know of which eludes to the idea that females need multi partners and are unsatisfied without. There is also no social evidence at least that I know of that indicates pair bonding is ending and multi partner or multi man on woman is taking over.
My original post was a warning to wanabee cuckolds not to fall into a trap where they confuse an affair for something else. A genuine cuckold in the true sense i.e. a man who has a wife who has taken another man, should not take comfort from cuckolding sites like this as these are quite rightly best seen as clubs for people of similar interests i.e. in this case people who like the cuckold fetish. If the wife is having an affair communication is necessary.
I hope this explains my position
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cuckmatt
Nigel,
Without a doubt, anybody who is either already in some form of cuckold relationship or indeed, any relationship that is involving a 3rd party or parties or those even just contemplating such a relationship should be careful. I think you discredit the vast majority of this site’s members and contributors with your often, negative contributions.
Cuckolding is happening and it’s not going to stop. People with free will, are drawn to whatever floats their boat. Beit politcs, sky-diving, hunting, cuckolding or whatever. For every interest there is a website that hopes to help, guide and encourage those interested. Luvr has created what is undoubtedly one of the most (if not THE most) well-rounded sites to cover the topic of cuckolding. Those that have become members have done so because of just that. The expertise and knowledge that Luvr has gone to great lengths to share and that includes the cons as well as the pros. Again, I’m fairly convinced that the vast majority of the sites users are of very reasonable intelligence (including yourself) and are able to use the many guides here effectively for their own circumstances. This is far from a titillation site.
I really hope that what I am saying is clear and intelligible. It’s a support site in principle. It doesn’t need in depth phsyco-analytical arguments. Especially those of a negative kind. It’s support and encouragement for others to help them make the right decisions, that is needed. If it’s the support and encouragement for somebody to take a step back or even end their persuit of cockolding or being cuckolded, then thatis as valid as supporting the contrary.
To reiterate, yes, everybody be very careful…..as I’m sure most, if not all are.
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nigelcuck
Thank you for your reply but I cannot for the life of me see how you view my comments s negative.
Let me explain.
If this were a site dealing with sky diving or motorcycle racing or some other dangerous sport it would most likely be joined by enthusiasts of the sport and no warnings may be required.
However, if for some reason, the above fantasy site attracted people who believed that risking life and limb was somehow the way to be, even natural to the degree they could enter a highly dangerous sport without equipment or preparation then I believe warnings are required.
I believe cuckolding is a fetish for some, sexual entertainment for others and for some even a lifestyle choice.
I believe some of my comments may prevent the unwary from entering a lifestyle or form of entertainment which may be damaging for them in some way.
However moving beyond that I do believe this is a good site for those committed to the lifestyle or fetish.
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jwff
@nigelcuck said:
Thank you for your reply but I cannot for the life of me see how you view my comments s negative.
Let me explain.
If this were a site dealing with sky diving or motorcycle racing or some other dangerous sport it would most likely be joined by enthusiasts of the sport and no warnings may be required.
However, if for some reason, the above fantasy site attracted people who believed that risking life and limb was somehow the way to be, even natural to the degree they could enter a highly dangerous sport without equipment or preparation then I believe warnings are required.
I believe cuckolding is a fetish for some, sexual entertainment for others and for some even a lifestyle choice.
I believe some of my comments may prevent the unwary from entering a lifestyle or form of entertainment which may be damaging for them in some way.
However moving beyond that I do believe this is a good site for those committed to the lifestyle or fetish.
Nigelcuck, with all due respect – and I do mean that – topics like this put me in a most foul mood.
Let’s take your parallel at face value, that Cuckolding is equivalent to motorcycle racing or skydiving. It is true that such pursuits do, to a greater or lesser extent, emphasize the importance of safety precautions in their pursuits. That said, if you were to walk into a motorcycle club, or a meeting of skydivers and begin to holler at the top of your lungs “You’re all Fools! This is Dangerous! If you don’t follow my advice you’re all going to die!” – well, you would quickly become the least popular person in the room.
Why? Generally because anyone who has made it as far as such venues has a general idea of the risks involved, and can adequately address them with having reminders blared in their ears at every turn.
Now compared to motorcycle racing or skydiving, cuckolding has never thrown someone into the concrete at a hundred miles per hour, or left them as a red streak on the terrain after a twenty thousand foot drop. Frayed relationships – possibly. But the ‘danger’ is several orders of magnitude less. If the many men and women who regularly jump out of airplanes can appropriately manage that risk, it would seem to follow that cuckolds and cuckoldresses are perfectly capable of managing their own.
Nigel, I would ask you to consider your own perspective and views at this point.
Your words evidence a serious lack of faith in your fellow community members. Remember that there were cuckolds long before you joined (and indeed, long before the internet), and almost certainly, there will be some after you and I leave. The community has never deteriorated into a cacophony of destroyed marriages. Your fellow cuckolds and cuckold-wannabes are not helpless! While advice can be important, remember that we are all adults here, with our own experience and skills in navigating life and relationships.
Your original post also appears to reflect upon a particular view of women in the lifestyle as particularly in need of restraint, that wives will inexorably leave men who are too weak or ‘impotent’. Elsewhere, I’ve found that there are many men (and at least a few women) who enjoy the fetish, but cannot reconcile their interests with conventional views on gender roles and morality. In particular, in an altogether backward fashion, women are considered to be somehow predisposed to promiscuity and betrayal in a way men are not, and that if the husband does not step in to dominate and micromanage his spouse’s behavior – even as he encourages her to sleep around – then she will doubtlessly take advantage of him, because women can’t be trusted.
In contrast to this, I would say, hopefully with the support of much of the community here, that trust by both parties is the most important and essential part of this type of lifestyle.
Nigel, I don’t know your personal circumstances or individual experience in this lifestyle. I think, though, that a great deal of your discomfort comes from some lack of faith in your fellow community members, and certain lack of appreciation of how women in this lifestyle generally behave responsibly.
Overall, I think that Luvr’s blog has constantly emphasized the importance of trust and mutual enjoyment and understanding in this lifestyle. Shrill warnings such as this, delivered constantly, are neither necessary, nor appreciated.
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nigelcuck
Thank for your reply to my posts.
Firstly may I offer an unmitigated apology to any man or woman committed to this lifestyle who was offended by my words.
My recent posts are aimed at wanabee cuckolds and others who stray across this information without any joint consideration with their partners. It is a gross insult to my or anybody elses intelligence to suggest that everyone who reads these blogs are committed cuckolds. This site will come up top or almost top in any google search.
I have not got figures but I would suggest less than half the people who read this are not committed cuckolds. The site can be read by non members.
You have alluded to me suggesting women cannot be trusted and have an inbuilt promiscuity…………….mmmm have you read all the guides to cuckolding on this site?? particularly the suggestion that biologically women need to multi partner and may have done so in some enlightened distant past. There is a suggestion that cuckolding is in fact a biological reality. I have stated many times I do not agree with this and do not credit or debit women with such animistic uncontrolled sexual drive. I agree basically with what you say” in an altogether backward fashion, women are considered to be somehow predisposed to promiscuity and betrayal in a way men are not, and that if the husband does not step in to dominate and micromanage his spouse’s behavior – even as he encourages her to sleep around – then she will doubtlessly take advantage of him, because women can’t be trusted.”
Surely the above statement by yourself is support in itself for my view that cuckolding is a socially based fetish or sexual entertainment practiced by individuals who have discussed widely with each other.
I still believe the lifestyle contains within it traps for the unwary and we are very far from cuckolding becoming normal behaviour and recognised as such widely.
If you are in a foul mood it may be your established view has been challenged and that is no bad thing for any of us.
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pery
Nigelcuck talks very smart.
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nigelcuck
CIP
JandGinSD
cuckmatt
jwff
pery
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