Home discussion Lifestyle Discussions True Experiences Do you ever take a step back?

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    • #33774
      Coffee

        Just curious. I know many of you are full throttle on the lifestyle.

        My fiance and I have had several different occasions when we put the breaks on things, and focus on eachother 100%. No playmates, just us.

        During this time, we flirt, fuck, connect , and honestly. It makes it easier to deal with the angst when it comes up. It’s nice to be the one and only for awhile.

        That being said, every single time. A moment comes, where I cant wait for her to meet up with her guy again.

        Still learning , still growing. Would love to hear if any of the couple’s here have similar practices.

      • #33775
        Voyeurcuck

          We go back and forth between adventures and just the two of us. Probably a bit more the two of us for the moment than I wish, but things has not lined up well for us lately.

          Other couples may go full throttle, but not us. The constant change is a driving factor for us. And too much of one thing becomes bored in the long run…. do you think you keep enjoying cake if you eat it every day? Probably not

        • #33781
          Don

            My wife went full throttle for about the first two years of us entering the lifestyle. I couldn’t blame her, lol. We had been monogamous for well over 20 years and she was finally getting to experience what good sex was really like. Granted, there were a few men that didn’t perform very well, but those were just a few.

            After those first two years, she started throttling back. She keeps in touch with a few of the guys, that were her favorites, and sees them occasionally.

            Thanks to COVID, its been months since she’s spent any time with them. Although, she does communicate with them, pretty much, everyday.

            Depending on how you live this lifestyle, I think it provides natural breaks. My wife dates other men. It’s that simple. So, she meets men no different than a single woman would.

            What my wife and I really seek is a full-time, live-in bf. She and I, both, would love to try a long-term triad or polyamorous relationship (whatever that is called).

            She has had a few bf’s that she and I, both, got along with very well. They stayed many nights a week with us and the three of us would share one bed. It was awesome. She loved the consistent (almost daily) sex she was having with her bf and I loved letting the two of them be exclusive for as long as possible.

            Hopefully we will find the right guy someday to be a live-in.

          • #33784
            Anonymous

              No not really. Once I exposed this lifestyle to my partner its like a switch was turned on in her. In fact thats what she told me herself and she enjoys the attention. To her its like a party at the end of the week that she looks forward to.

              She has a number of guys that she sees, sometimes in a group setting and other times one at a time. Due to COVID the group stuff has stopped but she arranges ‘dalliances’during the day during her lunch breaks.

              As I really enjoy her catching up with guys and giving me the lowdown on what happened, how often and who with, the excitement is amazing so neither of us have considered taking a break

            • #33785
              stonemtncouple

                Same for us. When she first became a Hotwife she was fucking other men once a week usually one of four men she enjoyed at the time. Its been 10 years enjoying this lifestyle and she fucks another man probably once every 6 weeks or even less.
                It has more to do with finding good longterm men. Its just like dating as a single woman.

                It would be nice to have a longterm boyfriend fir her but I fulfill that role as her husband. Not complaining at all.
                We love each other very much and our relationship is the core to our lives.

              • #33787
                Coffee

                  Great to hear everyone’s different experiences. It seems like it really differs on a couple to couple basis. What you both want out of it, and how you bring it together.

                  We dabbled a few years ago, had a pregnancy scare, then went on hiatus. We have always had the same person as our friend. He has been close to us for 10 years, and has an open marriage with his wife.

                  We dipped back in, and so far so good. She loves sex with him, he’s hung, toned, and a great lover. Being a close friend is comfortable, but when the anxiety hits. And even self loathing . I guess the breaks help with healing those feelings.

                  Still not comfortable letting anyone else in our lives ever find out about our thing. It’s just something shared between us (his wife is aware, and has her own fun).

                  One thing I always try to not do, is hate on him , even when I feel anxious or fearful. We invited him in.

                  Things that scare me. Self image (they both are amazing in helping me with when I feel like shit. And do get me to a place where I feel confident and happy) and pregnancy. She is on BC. No condoms. Finding it’s tough to go back once the condoms came off.

                  Sorry if this post felt a little disjointed .

                  But hearing all of your experiences and stories def help.

                • #33788
                  Coffee

                    Oh! I wanted to tack on. I lurk alot here. One of the big helps, has been reading about how others enjoy the lifestyle.

                    Thanks for being here.

                    It’s great knowing you aren’t alone. And it’s great to have a source to make sense of all these desires, and how they work into both daily life and psychology.

                    For all the occasional down sides, it is an important part of my life that does make me happy. All the best.

                  • #33803
                    stonemtncouple

                      Hello Coffee,
                      Do you even join your wife and friend for MFM or is it just her alone with him?
                      My wife and I started out as swingers swapping wives but that is really a MFMF group sex scene with women engaging in bisexual activities while the men fuck them. Its all good and everyone strives to include each other and make sure every one orgasms.

                      We progressed to playing with single men and having MFM because she enjoys all the attention and playing with two cocks at once.

                      Then to her having solo dates.
                      We still have MFM fun which helps me with the anxiety but I love it all. The sluttier she is the better I feel.

                    • #34211
                      Coffee

                        Sorry for not replying! Work has kept me away from the topic.

                        So she doesn’t feel comfortable with situations that aren’t 1 on 1.

                        Partially out of concern for my well being, and her just preferring 1 on 1 encounters when it comes to sex.

                        I chalk it up to everyone has a personal preference in this crazy dynamic, and I know I have my own, so I am the first to say “I understand” if someone just doesn’t like a thing.

                        That being said, she has been playing with our only regular friend we have had, who is a 10 year close friend to both of us. And I have been enjoying myself.

                        I have personally been in a great place. No anxiety (for now, I can never know how I’m going to feel a week from now) and no issues when it comes to feelings.

                        Right now ok feeling good, I’m confident , and I’m just enjoying the ride. I’m getting sexy snapchats from their play, and I couldn’t be happier.

                        Our friend and I have been playing a ton of online games together, and has been giving me juicy details about their fetish play.

                        We are always learning and evolving, and I have always liked it when the three of us have a level of closeness together. I know some guys probably prefer to have nothing to do with the bull, but personally, I like that ours is one of my best friends.

                        I trust him, she trusts him. And I know if there is ever a problem, with any of us, I feel comfortable having a real talk about my feelings. Even if it’s unbased fear. Even if it’s just overwhelming insecurity. With him, we had a pregnancy scare 2 summers ago. It was a roller coaster of a week. But it turned out, everything was ok, and it wasn’t the case. And I was really happy with how each of us dealt with it. Honest, open and responsibly .

                        Ultimately, we might feel best leaving things like this. She gets everything she likes in a guy from him, and everyone feels safe. (Covid wise)

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