Experiment: Pt. 3

He admitted that he does love my fiancé very much, and he is very happy and very grateful to have her in his life like this. However, he respects me very much as a person because not many men can stand back and watch the changes and experiences their life is making, especially when it comes to a woman they love. He then continued by saying that he hopes for him and I to continue being good friends like we always have been, no matter how serious things get with him and my fiancé, and that he hoped that I would even continue to watch because he knows that me watching “plays a huge role in the cognition of this arrangement”. I thanked him for what he had said up to that point, and he then continued by saying that he also very much respects the relationship my fiancé and I have and even though they do love each other very much, he does not want to every cause damage or complications for us and our eventual marriage. He does not see himself as the marrying type and would not want to stand in the way of her and I taking that kind of step. He also added that even if he ever were to want to get married that he would never try and step between my fiancé and I’s marriage.

As he was saying all of this, I saw my fiancé smiling and shaking her head in agreement to what he was saying. I felt a large burden lift off my shoulders, and when he was done, I again thanked him for that reassurance and stated that that is all I want. I do not care how much my fiancé loves him, even if she loves him 3 times more than she loves me, as long as there is a mutual understanding and protection for the marriage. Our friend shook his head in agreement and my fiancé then spoke and said “don’t worry, [him] and I talked a little after me and you talked the other day. I thought you might have a little bit of worry about some things still and so when I saw [him] the next day I too wanted to clarify some things with our arrangement. We agreed that if at any time either of us felt like it would damage or hurt the marriage that we would need to end it. So yes, we are all on the same page, and want the same thing.”

There was a brief moment of silence as we all smiled a took in everything. I said, “well great, I certainly feel better, and I hope you two fell good as well”, and they both nodded yes. I continued by talking about the wedding arrangement. We agreed that doing the wedding like a traditional wedding would be something we wanted. However, when it comes to the honeymoon, we are going to get a suite that has an upstairs and a downstairs room. That way he my fiancé can have as much time to themselves as they want, and I can come and go from the hotel as I please without disturbance. And then when they are not wanting alone time, I can just watch whenever. And then when they are not busy in the hotel, we will all go do and explore things together outside of the room. Our friend also said that he would pay for his way and pay for certain little things that him and my fiancé do throughout the trip as needed, just as we have normally been doing it now. So, if he and my fiancé want to go snorkeling or whatever and I don’t then he will pay for it. Or if we go as a group, I can pay for my wife and I and he will pay for himself. Or when we all go out to eat, sometimes him and I will split the bill regarding what my fiancé gets. Or we will alternate who pays for her meal every other meal.

I then brought up living arrangements. I said, “I know it may seem a little early for it, but I am curious if you two have talked about, or if either of you have thought about, living arrangements?” They both seemed a little confused and my fiancé said “Well, we are happy with the way things are now, but explain a little more as to what you mean?” I stated that sometimes in these types of arrangements the wife will stay multiple nights at her boyfriend’s house, or sometimes the boyfriend will move in. They responded that they had not really thought about any of that, that they were happy with the way things were at the moment, but if things progress in the future and they want to explore things more, that “sure something like that could be a possibility. What the future hold right now, though we don’t know.”

I agreed and we left it at that. We were all very tired, so my fiancé and our friend kissed goodnight. He went home and my fiancé and I went to bed.

I have learned from talking to many people on this sight that the idea of the fiancé/wife having a baby with the boyfriend is a possibility. Sometimes a very strong possibility depending on how involved and serious the boyfriend and wife get. However, I did not feel it necessary to bring that up at this time. Perhaps at a later time when they have been together longer, and after we are married.

I will continue to share more as time goes.