Helping the lady imagine the life ahead

This post is offered for all those folk who wonder how best to portray the hotwife lifestyle to their lady. I’m struck by how often anxieties about that lifestyle act as a barrier for the lady concerned. If you’re tongue tied about it as a cuck, its doubly hard to help the lady understand what you will respect. Not sure it is possible to summarise this so tightly, but here goes. Please feel welcome to add thoughts and experiences, anything that you think helps.

The basics- life as a cuckoldress is having your cake and eating it, but with an increase in the quality and the frequency of the sex that you enjoy. Your husband will continue to find ways to ensure that you enjoy sexual arrangements that suit you and which put you in charge of the sexual agenda. He will put you needs first, and accept periods of denial, more menial sexual roles as you direct, but with the contract that you continue to involve him in some way too. He asks you not to drown in the hedonism that will come your way and not to completely abandon him. He expects you to take the sensible adult precautions as regards sexually transmitted disease. But you can have the best of both worlds and he thinks that you deserve that. Ask your cuck to be about progressing to being owned by a bull. When you find the right man you may well want him to dominate the arrangements, to own you and to direct your husband on what is and isn’t allowed. A true cuck to be understands this female instinct, to go with the best and to assign the lion’s share of rights to the male with the finest mane. If you no longer copulate with your husband, then it is important to assign him other sexual duties, to mix denial and occasional reward for his submission to your rule.

Practical sex- In practical terms this means more sex and better sex and it will often be private between you and your alpha male. Your cuck isn’t naive, he knows that you understand sex in relationship terms, that it is not simply a mechanical act. For that reason you will be able to date your preferred man, and to determine when and the extent you wish your husband to share in sexual activity. Sometimes that will mean that your husband sleeps elsewhere, or you sleepover somewhere else. It is understood that you will explore your desires with the other man. For your husband sex can be many other lesser but sensational things, cunnilingus, and much else, that which accentuates your sexual allure and power.

Realigning your relationship with hubby- No one pretends that this won’t change the relationship you share with with your husband. When you find a boyfriend, it will require some realignment in your marriage. Your husband’s traditional sexual role may wither and be replaced by the sexual relationships you will have with your boyfriend. This rebalancing of roles involves a re balancing of power. You will increasingly become mistress to your husband. This is part of his need, however surprising or shocking that seems. Being mistress is at first unsettling. It can seem to threaten your marriage, but listen to, watch and note your husband’s behaviour, the regular ways in which he confirms that he really does want you to be in charge. Notice the way that he defers to your boyfriend and your relationship with him. He pays you the ultimate compliment, his humility and generosity fulfil a sexual need in him for sure, but they are also meant to celebrate and support you-someone who mesmerises him.

Reappraising what seems right- The lifestyle that you discuss with your husband is very different to what you may have been socialized to expect. Nice girls don’t sleep with other men, good women don’t dominate their husbands. Monogamy (as in coitus) is shared with the husband rather than a boyfriend. But remember that no relationship stands still and there is no standard woman and man. Sexuality is diverse, incredibly rich and a gift that some adults explore in a consensual way. So it is OK to review what you share with whom and to accept that a single partner might not meet all needs. It would be bizarre to think otherwise-no human being is perfect and all fulfilling for another. So the invitation is there, if you wish, and only if you wish, your husband offers you the freedom to enjoy one or more complementary and intimate relationships. He will remain constant in your support. Test him, flirt with other men and see if this is true,

Part of this reappraisal involves asking what is left in my marriage, now that it involves another and in so many ways superior male. The answer is, if you have discussed feelings and desires honestly, your thoughts and fears, a great deal. Some material gifts are quickly inspected and understood. This gift from your husband goes on and new nuances are identified as you proceed. Friendship may well deepen as you talk about need and excitement, about what it means to live honestly and well. Just as he gives you permission to explore, so you help him to explore, his more submissive side-that which he was perhaps never socialized to share. A submissive male is no less intelligent, generous, considerate, loyal or supportive, he is no less socially able and may be the best possible friend for the rest if your life. In marriage, sex is only part of your story together.

I fear falling in love with my boyfriend to be- We cannot exclude that risk. But if you are intelligent and emotionally mature, and if you chose a boyfriend who warmly supports the menage a trois rather than being egoistic and selfish, then the risks of divorce are lessened. Know yourself and your capacity to share and direct, select a boyfriend who understands himself and believes in giving as well as pleasuring and you start well. Read widely about love, as psychology and experience. Read biographies, they often capture the diversity of lives and marriages. Take your time on this-if your husband is sincere in his cuck life convictions he knows he may wait a good long while. This is a consultation-what would you like?