Please answer my question if you know why

In the first months of our marriage, I had a desire for my wife to have a relationship with other men. Does any of you know why? ,,,
And the
Whatever the matter, of course I did not tell her about my desires, our life continued, then I discovered her relationship with someone and I no longer remember those desires, but I became very angry and lost my sense and so on, and now two years ago desires came back to me again and I started to hint at them, I know that he became unsure of I’m serious about my hints because of what has happened in the past
Knowing that this was the first time that I wanted, an important note, we are in a very conservative Arab society