Hey Yan — I suspect I’m quite a bit older than you but nonetheless we do have some things in common. It is quite a revelation isn’t it (???!!!), the kind that confuses you and rocks your world and fills you with doubt and wonder all at once. Harboring those desires in a relationship is isolating.
If you really are able to understand yourself, your motivations, and communicate your feelings and desires to her it’s a positive, whether you two move towards making it happen or not.
I urge others to offer what they may here.