Home discussion Role Discussions Submissive Husbands What is my sexuality?

  • This topic has 24 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 4 months ago by Cuckaroo_banzai.
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    • #36868
      Dan C

        I acknowledge that I am cuckold. Even though there are times I struggle with this lifestyle, I know I want it. I find sexual fulfillment when my wife is experiencing sex with her lover. I love the feeling of being submissive, to let another man take my wife sexually. To watch my wife being fucked, to see how much she enjoys it, hearing her cum with him.

        But this lifestyle has started to make me question my sexuality. I have always considered myself to be totally straight. My sexual desires focused on females, my cock longing to fuck cunt. Nothing else entered my mind.

        But now, I find myself fixated on cock. At first, I watched my wife getting fucked, that was my focused, he was just the cock fucking her. It was like watching porn, the guy was the performer but the center of my attention was the woman, her body, her tits, her cunt.
        But over time my focus shifted to him, his body, his muscles, his cock and balls. I found I was watching him and my wife was just the vessel he was fucking.

        I have sucked him several times and he has fucked me once. I wanted to do it.

        So what does that mean? I still desire my wife. When he is not around we make love, we fuck. I want to fuck her. But I find I think of him naked, have masturbated thinking of his big cock. When he comes over to fuck my wife, I want to suck him, submit to him if he would want it.

        I guess I am bisexual, but if I am honest with myself, I feel there is a stronger desire to be with him than my wife.

        Is this normal? Is my sexual desire for him just a result of being in this cuckold relationship or am I more gay than straight? (I now find myself looking at guys, wondering what their cocks look like, what they would look like naked. Something I never consciously did before.)

      • #36874
        Coffee

          There are bound to be a large number of opinions and takes on your situation. But this is just mine. We have so many ways to look at life and sexuality, hopefully mine does something to help assist with yours.

          I believe it is normal, and natural for some cuckolds to feel this way. While I don’t know your exact situation, I can give you what I have learned from my own journey.

          You have become more accepting that you are a cuckold, and some cuckolds either lose desire to fuck their wives, as they believe they cannot please them. Knowing this, it makes it very difficult for a cuckold to enjoy fucking their wife, BECAUSE they love them. It is rooted in you that you can’t please her, and her pleasure is tied to yours. What is the point of fucking her if she can’t enjoy it as much as you? How can you enjoy it if she doesn’t? Kind of see how the cycle might work?

          Onto the bull in the scenario.

          First of all, the obvious thing. There is nothing wrong with being bisexual. It’s an option, and a possible part of you, and that is totally fine!

          When you blow him, when he fucks you, it is mutually enjoyable. Much like the experience your wife has with him, both parties are bonding in a mutually beneficial sexual way. Their sexual bond fuels you, this is something you already likely know. It’s possible your infatuation, and ultimate enjoyment with him is partially due to what he brings to the table for your relationship. Getting a little extra personal enjoyment out of him for yourself is totally fine too!

          It’s sexy! He is an important cornerstone for your situation, and so long as this works for you and your wife, I see no harm in it.

          Sexual labels exist for society to judge you, try not to dwell on it. You like pleasure, and that’s all that matters, how you get it doesn’t matter (so long as it’s consensual, fair to you and your partner, and it’s fun.).

          That, and you can successfully please a cock, and it sounds like you enjoy it! So shit, embrace it! Your wife certainly is!

          I find it helpful to remember that we are on this path because cuckolding is a unique, sensible, and sexy orientation for us. I’m not well endowed, I’m submissive, and I cannot fill the roll that a male who likes to be dominant can. In fact if I tried, not only would it not be enjoyable, or believable for either of us, but it would result in the death of our sex life. I believe what you are experiencing, is just enough step on your cuckold journey.

          To answer bluntly, I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal, and I say keep enjoying yourself! He is an important component to your sexual life, and it’s something you are both blessed to have.

          ********************************************************
          ********************************************************
          *** I AM NOT A SEXUAL THERAPIST, MY TAKES ARE MY OWN ***
          *** THIS IS JUST MY OPINION, AND A PART OF MY OWN ***
          *** EXPERIENCES THAT MAY, OR MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU. ***
          *** I ONLY ENCOURAGE CHOICES THAT RESULT IN YOU ***
          *** AND YOUR WIFE A HAPPIER COUPLE! THERE ARE NO ***
          *** RULES SET IN STONE, IT’S UP TO ALL OF US TO FIND ***
          *** OUR OWN WAY TO MAKE CUCKOLDING WORK FOR US! ***
          ********************************************************
          ********************************************************

          Sorry if my response/answer was not very direct.. But I don’t think we can simply be defined by filling in a bubble on a form. But if it makes it easier.. I’d probably think from what you described as being a bisexual cuckold. And I think that’s a pretty sexy thing to be!

          All the best!
          Stay happy and healthy!

        • #36878
          Anonymous

            I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal to show this bond with your wifes lover. It confirms your respect and admiration for his ability sexually and that you want to be submissive to him and please your wife. After cleaning creampies you have become addicted top him and now want to get his semen direct. Share him and be happy.

            • #36888
              Dan C

                Thank you for your response, it is much appreciated. Sometimes I think guys who are just straight with no kinks have it the easiest. They desire women, they fuck and they just live their lives. That is where I thought I was and I was happy. I could have continued living that life. But as we learn, life never goes as we plan and now I am living a life I never expected. It has been a hard emotionally gut wrenching journey. Is there a part of me that just wants to go back to that other life, fuck yes, but there is bigger part of me that realizes I need this..
                Not to brag, I am not small in the cock department. I sport a 7 incher, not thick, but it does the job. Wish my balls were bigger, I like those balls that are big and hang down, just like our alpha male. He is over 8, very thick shaft, huge big cock head and balls that are defined in his ball sack that hangs down between his legs.

                I have found my focus is on him, his cock, his balls, his muscular body. I do enjoy sucking his cock (and when I acknowledged that it was totally unexpected.

                Again thanks for your words, advice, they help. I know I still have a long way to go, but I am just going to move forward, try to just accept it.

            • #36879
              Squier

                I think your feelings are pretty normal. Considering the whole situation, containing so much sexual proceedings, developments over time. What did you expect from yourself? Stay where You once were? For ever? So You taste the bi side now, tomorrow maybe you are into sissy stuff?
                I think, as long as your walk on the wild side is OK for Your wife (& Bull), it should be OK for you too.

                When I was about 12 or 13 y/o I sucked the cock of a 18 y/o friend. I am not and never have been gay or bi. Never sucked a cock again, never became aroused by any gay stuff since. Same as you: only girls, boobs, cunts.
                But hey, sucking his cock was fun! Strictly speaking this may have been sexual abuse, but I had fun, it did no harm to me. I am not very touchy in sexual things.

                Today I can imagine very well to suck a cock again! Not because I changed from straight to bi or gay or whatever, but simply because of my sexual submission. Voluntary I never ever would suck a cock similar to my looser-cocks state. That would not meet my submissive feeling. But if my Wife would give order, I would do!

                So keep on reflecting yourself but IMHO Your feelings are not unusual and if the would be, so what 😉 Cuckolding is unusual too.
                You can put Your mind at rest.

                • #36890
                  Dan C

                    Thanks, it helps to hear other guys’ opinion, especially those who are living the same lifestyle. Society definitely fucks us up when it comes to sexuality. I remember a guy getting beat up in high school because he was gay. So I remember never looking at another guy in the gym, making sure my eyes never ever looked at them when they were naked. But in retrospect, it was kind of ironic that there would be those jock guys who liked to show off their junk.

                    I imagine we all have similar sexual desires, just at different levels of acceptance. I have started to wonder how many guys would have sex with another guy if it was socially acceptable. At least oral sex. After all I think most guys would put their cocks in anything to have that feeling.

                • #36887
                  TransStar

                    Thanks for sharing, Dan.
                    I agree with previous comments. Discover what you like and learn to be ok with who you are.
                    You have realized you are submissive.
                    You enjoy ‘making love’ to your wife.
                    You also like watching her fuck other men especially if they have a big, hard cock. And when you watch you identify with the submissive receiver of the Alpha cock and his sperm. You identify with being appreciative of the Alpha. You identify with being on your knees – Alpha cock appreciation.
                    But I suspect it’s not just about the Alpha cock for you. It sounds like you would like to be an ‘owned’ couple. You are interested in submitting to an Alpha leader. You want him to make the decisions, to watch out out for you and your wife. You want him to take control of you, to cum in you as evidence of your transfer of power and control to him. Who knew we would desire to watch another man fuck our wives?
                    Who knew submitting to being penetrated by our wife’s Alpha lover would be something we would desire? I would never have thought so before. But it rings true. Embrace it.

                    Congratulations on being open to discovering who you are and not just accepting what society deems you should be.

                    Consider communicating more of what you’d like to your wife. Ask her what she desires? In what ways could he become more integrated with your family? key to your home? vacation together? can they publicly date?

                    Consider communicating with the Alpha male, too. It’s not a gay thing, but an appreciative cuckold thing. Not a ‘you complete me’ but a ‘you complete us (you and your wife)”.

                    Might you and your wife enjoy being owned? Might he like to lead the two of you?

                  • #36898
                    allistan

                      I don’t worry too much about labels either…I know I am a beta and I know that I admire Alphas…submitting to them is natural for me..if that means sexually that is true submission..in front of my wife would be ultimate submission and ultimate admission of our relationship…and the ultimate cuckold relationship where all 3 are involved..

                      • #36902
                        Dan C

                          I know I should not worry about labels, but when you grow up thinking one thing, it is hard to change the mindset. I guess I am too worried about what others think as well as learning to accept who I really am when it comes to sexual desires. Thanks for your response. Submitting to another man for the first time definitely is a hard thing, but I found I enjoyed it. I may not have acknowledged that at first, but I now know I did enjoy it.

                      • #36941
                        GoddessMarianne

                          I agree with Allistan, we are born to live life to its fullest despite the “rules” imposed by society. I am in 24/7 chastity in an amazing marriage with a very sexual goddess. Knowing who I am, allows me to live an extraordinary life, Learning what excites, arouses, and pleasures me and acting from that is all part of this, Sadly, very few people experience this bliss for more than a few moments throughout their lives. Our “normal” married friends for the most part have fallen into a boring sexual routine (sex once a week for 15 minutes with little real satisfaction for either party). While they are good people, they are not happy and fulfilled. AND they do not share the depth of intimacy and friendship I/we experience. PS yes, when allowed I am a very willing submissive (orally and anally) partner to our Alpha bull. Those experiences in the presence of and with my wife are some of the pleasurable of my life. DO NOT hesitate to live who you are!

                          • #36943
                            Dan C

                              Thanks for your response. I think maintaining the passion in a traditional marriage is difficult. Things become routine, the horniness of youth and the novelty of the beginning of married sex life wears off. I guess that is what happened in my first marriage and why my wife sought out another cock. I guess I cannot blame her. The excitement of sex with someone new is enticing and considering his big cock, she just went for it.

                              Bringing another man into our marital bed has definitely added variety, and since it is viewed as taboo in society, it is exciting to do something “naughty”

                          • #36949
                            Coffee

                              Agreed Dan. Honestly, the staleness of traditional sex sort of led us here. I doubt there would be much sexual expression, or excitement had we not gone down this path.

                              Life is certainly more interesting this way 🙂

                              • #36950
                                Dan C

                                  I guess we can say it has been an interesting aspect of a sex life. It has certainly expanded the marital sex into a more sex focus lifestyle. Not that we are fixated on just sex, but it definitely has brought sex to the forefront.

                              • #37498
                                cuckedbyBBC

                                  I see that this topic hasn’t been updated in a few months. I’m wondering if anything has progressed here.
                                  Specifically, have you been interested in sucking off other men or is this just confined to her lover(s)?

                                  • #37551
                                    Dan C

                                      I have sucked my ex-wife’s husband’s cock. That is a whole other story. But I have not found myself with the desire to suck other men.

                                  • #37543
                                    TransStar

                                      Have you communicated that you would like anal sex again? What are you waiting for?

                                      • #37552
                                        Dan C

                                          He knows I am willing to bend over for him. I have gone to his house on a few occasions, but it typically is me sucking him off. He has fucked me once again, which he seems to enjoy, but I do not think he really is into fucking a guy.

                                      • #37544
                                        TransStar

                                          What is my sexuality? sounds like you are discovering it! agree, no labels required

                                        • #37553
                                          Dan C

                                            I think I have a better understanding of my sexuality. It seems I am just more open to other possibilities besides the straight hetero sex act. I find it freeing. Just because I suck cock and been fucked by a guy does not mean I am just a gay man. Bi defines me more even though I am not out there looking for man to man sex. I just do not label myself anymore when it comes to sex. Yes I present myself as a straight, happily married monogomous male to the world.

                                          • #40615
                                            femboyMichael5

                                              Hi, ever since about 18 years of age I’ve needed my female lover to cuckold me, I am 62 years old, I consider myself a third-gender type because I need to be a submissive bottom for men, yet I can perform sexual for a female if she tells me to.
                                              I am prefer watching as a girlfriend of mine has sex with a man, I like her to tell me to perform fellatio on her boyfriends, or they can penetrate me as well.

                                              • #40616
                                                Dan C

                                                  Sounds like you have worked out what makes you who you are sexually. It is freeing to acknowledge, accept and act upon one’s sexual desires.

                                                  I love to watch my wife being fucked and I love watching the guy fucking my wife. I could not really say that in the beginning as I was holding onto societal baggage which tends to mold your ego. I am a married man, love being a married man, but I do not need our relationship to be monogomous. I have no desire to fuck other women but I want my wife to be fucked by others, if that is what she wants.

                                                  I have come to love the male physique, the body and of course the cock. I love being submissive, to serve him.

                                              • #40623
                                                Cuckaroo_banzai

                                                  For many, I think the gay urges stem from one being inclined to be submissive to the woman and/or her lover, perhaps some admiration. I have all of those things but I’ve also had numerous gay experiences, periodic urges, etc, and I do think my strong desire to be a cuck is related.

                                                  • #40624
                                                    Dan C

                                                      I think you are correct. I never thought of myself as gay or having gay tendencies, but in retrospect, I realize I always noticed guys, especially handsome guys or muscular guys or guys who just showed confidence. It was more than just a quick glance. I would find myself staring. Barechested men definitely got my attention, but i did not equate it to any kind of sexual attraction.

                                                      Wanting another man in my marital bed and getting turned on by it, I thought it was all about seeing my wife getting fucked (like in straight porn), but overtime I realized it was also about watching and getting turned on my the guy. I still believe I am bi, but the sexual desire of a guy is very strong in me.

                                                      • #40633
                                                        cutdickasian

                                                          Spot on, i feel exactly the same! I am not gay or bi by any means but the fact that certain alpha masculine men show such confidence just by the look of them. Broad shoulders, healthy body, nicely shaped barechested and an overall aura that you see and admit undeniably that you can never have such confidence and charisma. Makes you want to have certain attention towards them. The fact that I can’t be them makes me want to resoect them. Idk how else to describe this feeling.

                                                    • #40635
                                                      Cuckaroo_banzai

                                                        I’m with you. I think there’s a reason I badly want my wife with a really handsome guy, and I would gladly do gay things with him if he or she instructed me to.

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