Where does it end?

Dear Jack, This is a very honest and thoughtful post and one that importantly sketches in the evolution of your lifestyle arrangement. Without that background, the journey through swinging etc, it would be easy to suppose that you have simply progressed with your interlude faster than seems wise. Whilst you pose the question ‘can this go on’ I sense that the deep concern relates to your complex emotions and the need to understand hers. There is too a query too about dealing with the frustration of denial. This blog has loads of guidance on those matters from Luvr-so I certainly commend you read those. Complete, absolute and forever denial is not going to sustain the new lifestyle relationship, and I think that you have to raise that with your wife. Whilst you completely support her sexual choices, her will in these matters, there remains a consensual bond in the cuckold lifestyle and there needs to be some gratification beyond imagination and occasional witnessing for you. A hotwife has to manage her cuck as well as enjoy her boyfriend.

Now my points come from the bull perspective, but I have shared a few honest conversations with cucked husbands, so I hope nonetheless that they seem valuable to you.

Cuckold angst
There is certainly a load of this in your post and I sense that you know this is normal. Much that is sexy about the lifestyle concerns the woman’s right to chose and with that comes the possibility that she might abandon you altogether. It is a terrible idea to confront, but the cuck cannot live on the edge without that possibility. Experiencing angst is important for many cucks-it is a necessary aspect of the roller coaster ride where you are no longer in charge. Creating angst is part of what comes with the territory of being a hot wife. Your wife challenges you to submit. When you do so, wisdom is then required regarding when to ease back on that. Constant and perpetual angst finally ruins the thrill of this sort of sex, it becomes dangerous and unhealthy. It may be the case that your wife hasn’t thought that through, whether she lays this on too thick. Reference to being married to her bull, having his baby are very powerful ideas and they need to be used cautiously, sparingly.

Being exclusive with her bull
Its natural I think for a hotwife to want to be owned by her bull, to have pussy reserved for him. This perhaps arises through three things. a) the realisation that this man gives her extreme orgasms and she cannot help making harsh comparisons (your point about the ankle chain is part of that valued added eroticism-being with ‘a proper man’). b) the social convention training that to copulate with two men is sluttish and unwomanly. Even if a hotwife has broken such taboos through swinging parties for example, I think that this remains deep rooted. c) being lost in the thrill of a dominant man, especially if he dates as well as fucks her. It is very tempting to exclude the husband completely in what seems a new dating season. If this is indeed an interlude, then you have to accept that. You will be out in the cold for a while. But a wise hot wife, one who learns to manage, perhaps to dominate her husband, starts to explore other, substitute measures that confirm to her husband that she has not forgotten him. Classically, that takes the form of cunnilingus. But some women won’t allow that and more fetishist substitutes are used, those that can be felt as ‘sexual’. I have known men lick boots, sniff and lick panties, all with the hotwife’s consent. Indeed, some hotwives have then directed such activity, working with the submissive/masochistic psyche of the husband. It works because the hotwife can continue enjoy sex with her bull, whilst diverting the cuck husband to something else that seems mutually sexy. She feel’s owned by her bull and casts crumbs on the floor for the cuck to pick up. There is then no need to abandon the husband completely, because he demonstrably has stopped competing against the alpha male. If the cuck learns to submit to the bull as well, and perhaps later, even publicly, then the triangle is reinforced. But I know that takes a long long time and considerable forbearance and emotional intelligence.

Intelligent bulls
You don’t post so much about the bull, but my feeling is that bulls have a significant responsibility to help manage this transition. Make no mistake red blooded bulls enjoy taking a wife, they like outcompeting a husband, and some like to see the hotwife humiliate her husband. But once cuck submits then it is time to consolidate the victory and help the hotwife become a mistress in two senses-his companion in chosen settings and the lady who rules her husband. No right thinking bull forgets that there is a husband involved here too, that he has needs and has made big sacrifices. So bulls should encourage hot wives to think about best management of cucks, they should signal that they want a cuck involved too. Its more than not simply taking the wife off you.

So what is sustainable is what is talked about, what is mutually consented to and what is understood as regards new roles and responsibilities. Asking for some part in the sex scene is not unreasonable, but you may find that it needs to be menial. Having your cake and eat it (as a hot wife) involves the need for forethought and consideration, as well as a steely resolve to have your own way in bed.
I hope that this helps-that it doesn’t seem trite.

Jack, a second post here simply to illustrate what I once encountered, something that helped a angst afflicted husband to feel more included. Again i hope that this seems valuable to you.

Some years back I was seeing a married girl whom I’ll call Siobhan. She was an exciting and confident woman in her early thirties with an older husband whom I’ll call Roger. Siobhan was very into our sex and I was certainly seeing her a lot. I had her husband go off to the pool club of an evening and we spent a lot of time in the marital bed. Eventually things progressed and i tolerated him coming home provided that he slept in the guest bedroom. The overnights extended to weekends there and Siobhan also wanted to be owned by me-Roger was being weaned off sexual contact very abruptly. I really enjoyed the bitchiness of this lady, her sudden and sharp put down’s of her husband and his abilities and at first I thought he was enjoying that too. She instinctively humiliated her husband once she was used to better sex. At first I indulged the conquest, the ego trip of it all, but I did start to notice that Roger was looking more and more hang dog. I asked Siobhan about that and she confided that she had told her husband that his tool would never be good enough for her and she was treating him as a friend husband rather than a physical husband. She confessed that this was so exciting because the put downs reminded her of college days, of teasing one man and going out with another. I understood the buzz (of course), but I did think that it would lead to a row if she didn’t start to manage Roger some more.

Humiliation was part of Siobhan’s thing. It was difficult to discuss because women are not supposed to be into this, but she was. So I decided to use her pleasure in that, hyping it up a bit for her, provided she was happy to involve Roger more in other ways. It was a trade off, a working with desires as I understood them. I said that Roger had to pay for a holiday away for the three of us (see my other posts for an interest in vacations). We had Roger along so she could enjoy putting him down a bit and because i wanted to train the guy to treat her as his boss (read- cut the guy a new physical role). I remember that we took a boat on the broads, and we visited eateries and bars with Roger in tow and Siobhan enjoyed flirting and petting with me, whilst Roger was made to hang around silently. But (and its important) there was a trade off. I wanted Roger sucking her toes and fingers, arousing her for me. I suspected that Roger had a thing about this and was pleased to note that these were far enough off pussy (a place that was becoming no go in any form for Roger). I was helping Siobhan to find other pleasures to share with Roger, those that seemed sexy, but didn’t go near our shared place. On the holiday that really worked too. Siobhan had Roger suck digits and disparaged him for that, but the nice old guy got stiff on it and I once saw him ejaculate without touching himself downstairs. We had found a compromise.

You might ask whether it worked long term and Siobhan and i enjoyed ourselves for years to come? Sadly the answer is no, a career opportunity came up for me and Siobhan couldn’t happily handle the separation this entailed. She started to think us (as in two) rather than us (as in three). That was never my thing, so I gently eased away from the relationship. I wished that I had worked harder, earlier, more explicitly, to help Siobhan enjoy cuckolding Roger in a more physical way. If i had been better, more intuitive and probably firmer with her back then, we would have cracked it. Bull’s ain’t always perfect though-I’m certainly not.

So my point here is about helping the lady to see other activities with you as acceptable, yes sexy, whilst keeping the main action for her bull. In my case, the bull initiated this idea, but there seems no reason why you shouldn’t have a chat about this- the crumbs that I refer to above. BW Jezz

Jack, pleased the thoughts seem of use. Some postscript ideas and then I’ll leave you to explore on.

I reckon the forthright submission to her choice, the acceptance that your wife is his sexually, will seem a huge thrill for her as well as a relief. If she is wise she will remind you again and again what a wonderful, generous, thoughtful, loving and crazy husband you are. She will check that you really mean it and perhaps insist that you tell her bull to his face (or perhaps in a note). The fucking may well intensify as she enjoys this freedom. What will seem tougher is her new demeanour. She may preen, dress better, strut, the aphrodisiac of feeling a alpha female in a alpha relationship is extreme. The angst quota goes up when she sleeps over elsewhere more and more. So keep engaged with this, ask to prepare her clothes, to roll on her stockings and clip them to her suspender belt. Signal your submission and reinforce her sense of being elite. There is a frisson in that for many women and they then discover they need this too. It keeps you in the picture and that is key in a cuckolding lifestyle. Don’t let that go…

The baby thing is such a major step. It must not be taken without huge forethought and that over time. Instinct is a powerful thing and once your exclusion from pussy is absolute, it can be very tempting to think of her womb as his to fill as well. The urge to conceive during ovulation weeks can be intense and especially if the bull seems a rounded as well as a physical male. She starts to picture herself suckling his baby, being out with him and their child in certain social settings. If he seems interested in making a sustained commitment, you find her opening discussions about that. ‘You would support my boyfriend wouldn’t you, accept him openly as the father of my baby.’ But beware the other risk, that if he shows commitment she decides that it is really best for you to move out (see above my points about intelligent bulls-this is not a game). This is then a conversation way ahead and one that should only be contemplated when the new lifestyle is stabilised-you have found an alternative role in your marriage and you are relating openly, honestly and submissively to her boyfriend as well. Manage the public menage a trois thing first to avoid chaos. Remember the psyche problem she has with sharing her body with two men.