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Luvr.
Luvr.-
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Coffee
Hello everyone. Before I begin explaining my own experience in cuckolding with my fiance, and our history; I want to make a promise to this new community I decided to take a gander with.
It is very important for my own sake in learning, and others reading, to be real. Behind this wall of internet, I’m anoynanous , and safe. There’s no reason to fabricate, or embelish stories, as I see alot of that in the link community. It is really cool that you folks verify, and I think that is really helpful for the integrity of a group such as this.
To begin, I am 30, and have been with my fiance for 11 years now. We are, like all of you, deeply in love , and I am highly doubtful anything could drive a wedge between us.
6 or 7 years ago we decided to have a threesome with another male, a close friend of ours. I didn’t realize it immediately , as I chickened out and waited in the bathroom while they had sex. But I found out something about myself, which I would later learn was the wonderful thing called cuckolding.
From that point on, we have danced back and forth with being open. After the second or third time drifting from monogamy , to something “else” , I realized I didn’t care about finding partners for myself. And it was her sexual relationship with him that I found most exciting.
Due to my own insecurity and fear, we have stopped having him and her see each other on many occasions. We usually open things back up, due to me getting way too horny about the idea of them sleeping together.
This same situation of opening and closing the cuckolding has happened, probably at least 4 times. My insecurities that arise occur due to my jealousy getting the better of me. Realistically, I am in a safe situation. He is a close friend of ours, he is married , and in a situation where he is allowed to be with us. I should have no complaints. But my emotions get the better of me still.
I have arrived at the conclusion, that the sexual high of cuckolding is too strong. I never stop wanting this in my life. The downside, is that it has had some adverse effects that we have discussed recently.
One, is that our sexual relationship with each other has dwindled to almost nothing. She gets very excited about sex with him. Today I have found ( not from snooping, but from helping her transfer phone files to her pc ) photos sent to her of his dick, with aggressively sexually suggestive captions. I told her I felt a little bummed that when I used to try that she shut it down. She said because she felt like I wasn’t fully into it and I wasn’t believable.. which is probably true.
The guy is a stud, he is just a better sexual partner, and I can’t really argue with that , not even a little. Great body, hung, and a great guy to boot. He is a really good friend, and has even tried to help me along, and understand my emotions and ups and downs with the whole arrangement. He is very careful, and very worried about potentially losing either of us as friends, and treads carefully with our invitation we have given him into our sexual lives.
As far as things I have been able to enjoy, I have only got as lucky as to receive snap chat videos. Which is a disappointment of my own making. We almost had a meeting with me there, but it was when I decided to take a break again.
And I am possitive my hesitancy has created a cautious approach from both of them. It would be nice to dive into all those dirty hardcore acts, but there are some things I need/needed to learn about myself before I can get there.
Maybe admitting to myself that this isn’t a fleeting fetish that comes and goes.
I’m not too sure.
If you read through this, thanks 🙂
I’d love to chat, or contribute to the forum however I can. Happy to be here.
~Edit~
As a quick edit, I have read the guides extensively on this site. So I’m not without the source information from Luvr. My issues stem from accepting the difficult things like, the shock that has lasted for years now that I actually enjoy this to the extend I do. And working on my own acceptance that this is a part of me.
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Luvr
Welcome @coffee – that was a very well thought-out post that provides a full background.
First I would say you’re not alone in your experience of start/stop being run by fear/anxiety. This anxiety is natural, of course…and if you weren’t feeling that, then something is obviously wrong with your relationship.
I see two likely issues involved here:
1) sexual expression – it’s likely that because you are now so mentally and emotionally invested in cuckolding that you are taking your sexual release into your own hands. Literally. Masturbation is the primary cause of anxiety at the level that it spills into the relationships. When your arousal peaks and you handle it yourself instead of sharing it with her – or them, you rob yourself and them of the opportunities you all want to have.
2) Trust: You say your relationship is bullet-proof and you have a long time together to form that foundation, but your behavior says you don’t trust her, your relationship, or both. Right? If you really did, you wouldn’t feel the need to assert yourself and get in the way. If you truly trusted that she would make the right decisions and preserve your relationship while also enjoying his cock we wouldn’t be having this conversation.
What to do:
Make a commitment to cease your solo masturbation and work out having that release only with her while you talk of previous experience or plan new ones. It’s ok that your sexuality as a couple now revolves around your cuckolding – this happens.
Come to the agreement that unless the relationship is affected, there is no reason they cannot continue their coupling. Read The Golden Rule and take that to heart.
A potential third issue is ego. Male ego is a falsehood built on the idea that men only have to ‘compete’ for a woman once and then she is forever ours. This is not our biology and in cuckolding this fact rings true and loudly. Accept that you are both happy this way and that’s what’s important, not what an artificial perspective on ego dictates.
Come find me in the chat and we can discuss it further if you like.
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Coffee
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