Simple Risk/Reward Management
A couple taking the step of including another male in a sexual role within their marriage does need to ensure their health, safety and marital well-being, but if the Golden Rule is applied and consciously adhered to, all of these elements can be accounted for without needlessly limiting themselves.
The Golden Rule
The Golden Rule is a process, not a rip-cord.
The choices, experiences, and outcomes that benefit and strengthen a couple’s bonds can vary greatly from couple to couple which is why specific boundaries are so ineffective. For some couples, a form of denial known as exclusivity can greatly enhance the emotional and mental rewards one or both partners seek out of this experience while others require a more moderate approach to forms of denial (like chastity).
Calculate On Aggregate
Often a new direction or decision has different consequences, outcomes and benefits for one spouse compared to the other. The recommendation is to balance the overall benefit/risk as a couple rather than as an individual.
The Golden Rule is especially important when evaluating the influence and behavior of the couple’s bull or when evaluating as a couple how to expand their involvement and/or commitment to him. When evaluated against the rule of whether the practice or choice will truly negatively affect the relationship, decisions can be more easily made.
It is illogical to think that others can know intimate details about what you’re doing as a couple even if they happen to catch a very small glimpse of it. Even if a hotwife is seen with a male not her husband in a public setting, the most that can be assumed is she’s being flirty. Even if she’s seen kissing her date that doesn’t prove anything beyond a kiss. The odds of someone you know being somewhere you socialize are incredibly small anyway unless you’re foolish enough to socialize where you know family/friends hang out, right? Creating a boundary of no public dating is illogical.
Beyond that it’s impractical to believe there won’t be times when passion overcomes practicality. It’s also an oversight to not consider testing and commitments to exclusivity so she and her bull can enjoy the natural coupling most rewarding for everyone. Putting bare sex off limits if health/safety/birth control issues are settled is needlessly limiting.
Getting to this point is never easy for any couple – don’t make it more difficult by putting up the obstacles yourselves.