- This topic has 3 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 7 months ago by
LL.
LL.-
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Anonymous
Hi,
I am writing this as the gf of a hotwife husband (bf). I would really appreciate any advice or help anyone can provide me. I first learnt of his fantasies when we came home from a party very drunk. He started asking me about my past experiences and I was a little afraid he was going to be mad but answered his questions. He then admitted that he knows it’s a little weird but for some reason when he is drunk he likes to picture me having sex with other people. He expressed that he was ashamed because he thought he was a weird pervert. I assured him it was normal and I had read about it being a common fantasy amoung straight menand that it related to sperm competition. The next day, I privately read up on it again, remembering that I had read about cuckolding in the book, “A billion wicked thoughts”. I started gentley asking him questions when he would bring my past up in the bedroom. Wwhat type of man would he want to fuck me? He said he hasn’t given any thought about the mans appearance other than wanting him to have a large dick to fuck me with. I told him I had read somewhere about some men enjoying cleaning their partners up after the other man has had sex with them. He said the idea of that is really gross to him and that he wants to be invisible and secretly watching me fuck another guy. Then he said he wants the man to leave, me to shower and then he wants to fuck me really hard. I asked him if it would be a turn on if I fucked a guy in our bed and he said NO! That’s our special place. The information I have gotten over the last 8 months from him is that he is not into the humiliation or sissification. He gets off on the idea of being a voyeur and secretly watching us. He likes the jealousy he feels of the thought of me cheating on him but not actually cheating on him. I am glad he has expressed his fantasy in this way as I would not personally be comfortable with the sissification or humiliation aspect of this anywyas. I apologize for the long lead up to my question. The problem is, we role play in bed, fantasize about it and he has encouraged me to even start chatting online with other men but I still feel like I am the one wanting more sex/bringing it up to get him going and sometimes he gets jealous if he isn’t in the mood. We have very mismstched sex drives (he wants sex twice a week, I want it multiple times a day). And now I almost feel as if I am the one always talking about it. So my question, what can I say or do to get him to want sex more frewuently? Should I let him take the lead in mentioning it? How come I can go on about something and he tells me he finds simething really hot and he is speechless yet he asks to talk about it after he finishes watching his sports or w.e? Is there anything extra I can be doing or saying to drive him wild?
Thank you in advance,
Hotwife -
Don
There is, probably, nothing you can do or say to get him to want sex more frequently. He expressed his fantasy of seeing you have sex with other people when he was drunk, but it sounds like he struggles with it when he is sober. That’s not good. If the two of you were to let something happen while drunk, he could really regret it when he sobers up.
Let him take the lead on any further conversation. He knows you, now, know of his kink and that you seem agreeable to it. Let this knowledge grow and develop in his mind. Don’t push it and don’t expect anything to happen fast.
I was the one who suggested this lifestyle to my wife. She struggled with it for years. If I brought it up, it irritated her. So, I backed off and let her bring it up. I knew she was considering it, because she would occasionally ask me questions about my kink. If finally happened, but it was probably 3 or 4 years from my initial suggestion.
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Robert
Open communication is key. If you bring up the lifestyle to him and set aside time to discuss your sexual needs, he should be open to hear it. Then, let it sit for awhile. See how he reacts to it and if HE brings it up again. Then, I would suggest getting him involved in finding a bull for you. Someone he approves of and set up a situation where he is in the next room or closet or somewhere he can watch. and Please find an understanding bull that knows its hubby’s first time. I’ve seen a lot of crazy stuff…pushing me out of the way to fuck his wife, go crying in the next room or pulling me out at the last minute to take my semen in his mouth. Hubby doesn’t know exactly what he wants. explore together. Got to have an easy going and understanding bull. It takes time.
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LL
It is unusual for the mismatch in libido in your situation, as typically it’s the male wanting to explore beyond what is traditional, and in general seeks sex more often. Men can be intimidated by sexually-forward women. It sounds a lot like a passive-aggressive thing with him where he holds back, & purposely de-emphasizes sex for reasons which are unknown.
You could just ask him what he wants to experience with you, where, and when? Ultimately you may be just spinning your wheels though. It’s unfortunate that you to go through this, as it’s very frustrating to to have discussions when someone is vague or won’t come to any sort of consensus.
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Anonymous
Don
Robert
LL
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