Reply To: Her lover move in during quarantine

Hi Dave, Be strong in this…

Have you lost Jenn?
Wayne is very well aware of the damage he is doing.

Below are a few questions regarding “If you are being abused…”
Does Wayne:
Make you feel uncomfortable or afraid?
Put you down, humiliate you, or make you feel worthless?
Constantly check up on what you’re doing or where you are going?
Try to stop you from seeing your own friends or family? (Such as your wife?)
Make you feel afraid to disagree or say ‘no’ to them?
Scare or hurt you by being violent
Pressure or force you to do sexual things that you don’t want to do?

If you have answered ‘yes’ to any of these, then there are signs that
you are not being treated right, or that you are being abused.
If you don’t feel safe, respected and cared for, then something isn’t right.

Hang gliding and skydiving can be fun, a big thrill, but some safeguards are
essential. You and Jenn have jumped out of the plane, so to speak. What is
your safety net now?

If this has been difficult for you, consider that it has also been difficult for Jenn.
Jenn is not in love. She is “addicted” to Wayne. He is “drugging” her with
domination and constant sex. She is addicted to his domination. If you have
been living like a trapped animal, won’t it be good for it to end? What if Jenn
has similar feelings?

When Wayne leaves, it may be a dramatic upheaval. (That is what
he wants) Don’t you think he wants that validation of his power.?
The damning thing is that you may both “miss” Wayne. You will both crave
the D/S dynamic, a dynamic that evokes the fight or flight response, giving
rise to an endorphin “high.” Wayne will exploit this to drive you apart. You
may both feel “lost.” When children are taken from abusive parents and placed
in foster care, they commonly want to go back to what they knew. The key issue
is if Jenn still wants to have a relationship with you going forward. If you and Jenn
want to go for counseling, will Wayne forbid it?

I think you are both under a great deal of stress. I think Jenn is living
with deep denial. She is grieving.

Wayne only wants power.
You may have lost Jenn.
Isn’t she basically shattered?
Has Wayne won?

What happens to the wedding ring?