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Woody
… and said she thought it would be sexy to have me watch her being caned and then taken by another man while I watch, helplessly. In a way, I would have felt less tormented if she were horrified, or at least reluctant. But no, she said right away: “I'm into it.” It isn't because she wants to cheat on me- she made it clear she'd only do it if I watched, and she wouldn't swallow for him, only for me (when she did this on our first experience together, I knew I was in love). On the one hand, I cannot deny what my body is telling me. On the other, my mind is saying “danger”.
How do I deal with all these conflicting feelings?
More importantly, how do I go about finding her a boyfriend?
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Luvr
You should never refer to these desires or this lifestyle as shameful. That feeling is simply a byproduct of the conflict between what your basic instincts and true personality are telling you to feel and what society has told you as being 'right for you'.
As I said when you joined the chat yesterday, much of the process of finding her a boyfriend is with her. It's her pussy to offer to the men she views as deserving of it. It's your role to support her in that and help her feel comfortable socializing and flirting to find her boyfriend.
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Woody
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