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jezz
Hope that you find this a provocative and a serious post. Its meant to encourage conversation. There is a great deal in Luvr’s posts about getting ready to live the lifestyle, to gradually explore matters. It is exceptionally wise counsel. But I wondered whether there is a younger age limit (above the usual legal limits) where it seems unwise for a couple to commence this lifestyle? Is it a good thing for instance for a pair of 21 year olds to do this? My own take on this is that the lifestyle requires a lot of emotional intelligence and maturity in that area. This isn’t about how well educated you are, but about thinking on experience-togerther. Its this that makes it easier for 30-40 year olds, at least those in relationships of a few years, to live the life well. But what do YOU think?
I wouldn’t see this as a lifestyle in any marriage where at least one of the pair are unstable in some way. You shouldn’t mess with this if you are wrestling with alcoholism, addiction to hard drugs, or suffer say a psychosis, where the activities get reformulated in your head. Its a no no if one of you needs anger management. Somebody is going to get hurt. Sexy as it may be to read about, to dream about, keep it there. Its a sometimes fantasy pleasure.
I don’t see upper age limits though. These days you have to debate when someone is old. If folk are living into their late 80s and 90s, then when you’re 60 or 70 and physically well, then this lifestyle seems a possibility. Some folk in this age range savour being the rebel-together. Its as ‘outrageous’ as buying and riding the Harley Davidson! Again, what do you think!?
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j0hnny
I for one know that as a younger man, though I was quite open minded compared to many, I would not have been able to handle this kind of relationship. I was the victim(?) of a couple of cheating incidents and didn’t really understand at the time why I was angry and aroused at the same time. I know now it was the deception that did all the damage but neither myself nor my partners at the time had the experience or maturity to see what it could have been.
It was not until I had been in a lengthy (12+ yr) relationship, with someone that was totally devoted to me, that I felt the complete trust (in her as well as myself) that allows me to contemplate (fantasize) about this lifestyle (yup still a wannabe). IMHO, wisdom and trust are definitely minimum requirements and though they can exist regardless of age, they are far more common in us older couples.
But, at the risk of sounding pretentious, I do also believe this is a fetish for those who spend more time in their own heads than watching TV. This is a relatively intellectual pursuit; the eroticism of power exchange, that desire to experience emotions that most would avoid at all costs, is not for the weak willed or faint of heart. To “know” that submission is an act of love and devotion and requires strength of will, not weakness…that is the great mental challenge. Finding a bull that understands and appreciates this (like Luvr and yourself) is, I imagine, the really hard part for most of us cucks. -
jezz
What a brilliant and thoughtful response! You’re definitely right Johnny that much of this sex is in the head and for the very thoughtful. But I suspect that it is too deeply sustaining IF you can find a partner that understands the playfulness of this. After all, sex, as the physical act, permits only a limited range of activity, but add to that imagination, and role playing, and yes love-helping someone else feel so liberated-well that is the stuff of long term partnering. You fill your palette up with new colours to paint with-it is more creative. BW Jesse
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jezz
j0hnny
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