Just my comment … my wife and I have been in the swinging lifestyle for 6 years or so as a couple. We were both also swingers as singles before we met … while swinging. Her single experiences were nearly all 1 on 1 with a man … quite a few different ones, in fact. My single experiences were a pretty equal mix of MF and MFM with a couple. I never ran into a cuck couple in that time. As a couple, most of our experiences have been couple swaps, with single guys brought in ocassionally to join us for an MFM. I only tell you that to let you know that I have some knowledge/experience to share on this topic.
What you are describing as your desired 3 way relationship is much more of a ‘standard’ 3 way, and not so much a cuck/hw relationship. Understand that I’m not cricizing that at all. 3-ways are GREAT, especially for the sexy wife who is getting the double teaming. The question I have is, what does your husband WANT? Only he can answer that, and only you can ask him. Maybe he is highly satisfied with the 3-way. There’s no denying they are fun. But since you have to coax him to join in, maybe he WANTS to be a cuck who watches and gets a bigger thrill from seeing you pleasured by another while he excluded. Maybe a serious talk with T is in order to find out.