Re: a litle help required

Hi Nigel, If this blog is more than a form of voyeurism-and I think it is-then it exists to help people understand how they feel, who they are and what they believe they need. Clearly though its not a psychoanalytical couch, nor a marital guidance service. So my thoughts are shared with humility, I am not a counsellor, and they are only a speculation. I wonder whether it is as easy to discuss with your wife why you wish to be cuckolded, where the desire comes from? Asking her to do so might be the simpler part. But to share more honestly, is to venture into something much less comfortable. Is this bound up with deep self doubts, does it have an origin earlier, and your understanding of women-those that seem the most attractive. There are endless explanations of the cuckold desire, but knowing your own, so that you could honestly share the same might be essential if you ask her to include an element of that in your future relationship. Helping her to understand what fuels you can help to sustain what she finds desirable maybe?

Its important too I think to enquire what she finds exciting, needful and appealing. There may here be an element of the hunt. Perhaps she is very excited by the idea of being pursued, being competed for, and teasing, choosing, changing her mind. It seems to me that human beings are strongly affected by such things-the hormones run strong and then afterwards its difficult in a marriage to replicate that excitement, to sustain the desire in such a potent form. Is it then best to talk about that, and to explain what drives you, the feeling of chasing from a few steps back, competing against a better suitor. I think it great that she finds desire again for you, even if it is in a startling form. Affection and insight are both important I believe.