Re: Cuckolds,should we all be very careful with all of this

I agree with all the comments and would like to comment on communication. Personally my wife and I are very bad at it. I talk a lot, she doesn’t, and she moves off the space of intimate discussions quickly and closes up. I am a great example of how it can go all wrong. My wife does have a lover of her choice. However we have a great functional relationship we rarely fight or argue and day to day life functions very well she has respect for me and me for her and she supports me in life. My difficulty is that she is actually a cuckoldress and she knows she is but I have never been able to move her to discuss the issue. This is partly because the man is not part of the game and would leave her if he knew I knew.

I have thought about this a lot as I work in a job which requires two way communication or the job will not be successful.

Communication is not just talking, we all know that, but what is it. I would say it is the use of words to convey feelings both ways. Communication will only happen when both parties are prepared to use words as a vehicle to convey feelings which lie deeper.

In my case I wish to convey my feelings of sexual emotion or desire for deeper sexual emotion via words. I would like my wife to pick up on this and respond. My wife is hiding her feelings of sexual emotion as they relate to another man and she doesn’t really want me to know how deeply she feels in case I respond badly. Communication deadlock.

So how can this be broken, I will take any advice.

Generally though where there is no deadlock and in respect to cuckolding with a couple not yet involved i.e. the lady has not had a lover yet but the man wishes she would. I would suggest the first barrier to overcome is an agreement that both see sex as entertainment at some level. Sex is not normally entertainment but naturally a spontaneous reaction to circumstances, I believe women like this better they like to be swept away in the moment.

There is a reason why we often shy away from the idea of sex as entertainment, is that we have become accustomed to controlling natural desires as modern society has progressed by the control of nature. We are disciplined and have jobs to do, we fear failure if we are raked with emotions all day long, and sex, could almost be as destabilising as drugs or any other substance abuse.

Cuckolding can of course be a lifestyle choice where the female has a perfectly normal boyfriend and indeed they may not have sex that often or any more often than a normal vanilla couple. The only difference is the husband may be denied sex or may be complacent about the entire thing. The husband quietly gets off on his fantasies and places her on a bigger and bigger pedestal. Indeed that may well be where I am as a cuckold.

However if the male wants the cuckolding to be more than that he will need to convince his wife/partner that they enter into a relationship which is more like sexual entertainment in other words using sex for a purpose other than what was intended. I know that sounds a bit righteous and what was sex intended for???? ……………. However regardless of view the biological purpose of sex is to produce offspring, that is all nature knows, the rest we make up as we go along. However nature did make the process very exciting and enjoyable much more so than required it could be argued. Sex produces some very interesting chemical reactions and creates pleasure which is equal to or exceeds some external substances. Enough so that we can tame the feelings and use them as entertainment.

Many men via masturbation have used sex as entertainment since puberty. I am not convinced that women do this as often or in many cases at all. I believe sex with women is tied into relationships and emotions. The woman needs an entirely all body emotional experience to be satisfied. She needs to feel desirable, beautiful, and sexy she likes to know the man is turned on by her it is an entire experience. Men on the other hand can masturbate and satisfy themselves.

Therefore I do not think a man will get agreement from a woman that sex for her can be seen as entertainment. However the man may get agreement that his sex is for entertainment and she is happy with that, i.e. that he can entertain himself sexually with the knowledge that she is having a normal even loving relationship with another man.

The cuckold needs to convince her that in some way he is either incapable of normal loving sex or that he prefers masturbation, teasing and other forms of sexual entertainment. the cuckold needs to work out in himself why he wants this firstly and convince himself it is ok.

Is the cuckold incapable of loving relationships for whatever reason, and if so should he be concerned about this. Does the cuckold not really love his partner and needs this stimulation to get off on her and is this healthy. Does the partner not love the cuckold and is cold with him but could love someone else.

If I were to put forward a personal opinion it would be that cuckolding comes about when a man has either  lost interest in his  partner or in some cases the partner is cold sexually and emotionally with the man. The man tries to find something which works and hits on cuckolding.

The other cases of cuckolding arise with highly self aware and liberated people who practice different types of swinging and so on.

So, communication as an expression of feelings two ways via words. Work out where you are first, what is your feelings, honestly. Do you not love her, are you not turned on by her, and do you want to be as you do not want to break up the relationship. Do you love her but she is cold and you want her to love you more. Does she not love you at all and has no feelings for you.

I welcome comments