Marriage Evolved › discussion › Lifestyle Discussions › True Experiences › Cuckolds,should we all be very careful with all of this › Re: Cuckolds,should we all be very careful with all of this
CIP
“There is a very real difference between men and women in how they approach and process satisfying sex. Men can easily detach love from sex, lovemaking from fucking. Most women, hotwives included, require an emotional connection in order to be truly satisfied. “
Again, you simply can not generalize like this. My wife and I USED to be swingers. We are completely the opposite than your comment. This is one of the reasons this lifestyle works for us. I never could separate love and sex with myself. I had to have an emotional attachment whereas my wife can have sex with a guy(or gal) at the drop of a hat and not even as much know their name (or care). ALL PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT.
There are MANY women in this lifestyle, as well as many others, that are NOT sexually bound by the close minded beliefs held by society. I know COUNTLESS cougars, hotwives, swingers, etc that view sex completely as recreational, with no emotional attachments whatsoever. Everyone is different, and you will never be able to define them in such broad parameters.
As for helping you and her communicate, I really dont know how to help you and her learn this, because again, all people are different and you and her need to find the key that works for you. Maybe counseling? You dont have to tell the counselor of your lifestyle, but just let them understand you need to learn howe to communicate better. I do agree with you that you talking without her interaction is not communication.
“If I were to put forward a personal opinion it would be that cuckolding comes about when a man has either lost interest in his partner or in some cases the partner is cold sexually and emotionally with the man. The man tries to find something which works and hits on cuckolding.”
This might be YOUR experience, but it isnt even in the same realm as mine.
“The other cases of cuckolding arise with highly self aware and liberated people who practice different types of swinging and so on.”
This would be a LOT better description of our situation.
“So, communication as an expression of feelings two ways via words. Work out where you are first, what is your feelings, honestly. Do you not love her, are you not turned on by her, and do you want to be as you do not want to break up the relationship. Do you love her but she is cold and you want her to love you more. Does she not love you at all and has no feelings for you.”
Again, no where near my relationship description. I love her dearly. I have been married to her for 26 years at the end of this month and neither of us could even imagine it coming to an end on any level. Im totally turned on by her physically and spiritually, as she is me. I actually enjoy her having sex with others (sucks that good HONEST people are hard to find in sexual lifestyles), and she enjoys it as well. When it comes to HER playing with others, we both can separate love from sex, but when it comes to me playing “I” can not separate the difference. No, I do not know why, but honestly, because it works FOR US, I dont try to explore the answers and simply accept that it works FOR US.
In my opinion, I think you are trying to project YOUR experiences, views, and feelings as fact. They are not, they are factual for you, nothing more, nothing less. You can share your experiences as a warning, showing why it worked, or went bad FOR YOU, but you are writing them as if they are statistical facts, and they are not.
Our lifestyle works extremely well for us. Does that mean I think it would work well for everyone else, hell no. Could it work for others with communication skills, probably, but only they can decide.