Re: Introduction

Hello Aaron,  I will start out by saying that you and I have similar backgrounds (both military with deliciously foreign brides), but where we are different is that I have achieved what you are still looking forward to.  I have been with my wife now for almost 10 years and she has been cucking me for the past three. Since you haven’t really detailed where in your failures lie, I can only offer up my own suggestions based upon personal experience as ideas to assist you.

Where I have had the most success is when I stopped being shy about what I wanted honestly and just told her.  I knew she would be insecure because girls are generally raised to think that it’s ok to be a bit wild before you get married, but marriage is not to be treated lightly.  My wife comes from the Philippines ( an entirely too uptight country full of Catholic conservatives) where wives are supposed to be generally subservient to their husbands. What I have learned through time and experience is that there is a reason guys like us marry girls like this. They really are the way that we would like them to behave in most cases, but they need reassurance from us.  The type of reassurance I am referring to is usually that we will love them even more for “being themselves” and that marriage to us doesn’t mean they have to give up what they once enjoyed so spontaneously. If your wife is anything like mine, she married you because she loves you and you make her feel secure (not just financially).  She may need to know that you will still love her the same and treat her just like a Goddess for just being her natural self (from before you were together).  

Another suggestion I think I need to make for you is, take it out of the bedroom my friend.  You cannot try to talk her into this in just the heat of the moment. Sit down with her and ask her details about what it was like before she was with you. Ask her what she enjoyed and what she didn’t like in particular about being so sexually free and spontaneous.  Show her how you feel and how it affects you when she tells you what she did before.  I honestly think that you don’t have to convince her that you would like this so much as remind her how fun and exciting it was for her, and THEN reassure her about how it will not negatively affect the way you feel about her.  In my personal experience, this kind of sharing and honesty strengthens a relationship and paves the road for new things…it NEVER hurts it.

I hope this helps you a bit…Let me know if you would like to know more about how to successfully revert her to her old ways…