Re: Is there something I am not getting

Hi Nigel,

I wonder whether James has thought consciously and carefully along the lines that you outline above? I guess not, but only because he doesn’t have a psychology education. I think the account of reasoning you share is very rationale though. The cuck does indeed have to find a compromise position, one that acknowledges his interest in sex and his inferiority when it comes to the mating stakes. This is what I believe could be called the erotization of feelings, linking feelings that might for others seem plain uncomfortable and linking these to a new found pleasure-that which gives a new meaning to submission. Its another way of saying what you say I think.

There are certainly precedents elsewhere, where people try to overcome what the psychologists call cognitive dissonance (sorry to get all technical). For those not in the know this refers to a situation where an individual has to endure a situation that they believe is not as things should be, where they cannot have what they want. A very simple example makes the point. As a kid you want that ice cream cone. Its a hot day after all. But you can’t have it, you can’t afford it, so you look for ways of seeing the lack of the ice cream as good. If you guzzle ice cream cones you put on weight. You spend money that could be put to better purpose. You search for the plus, the value in what you cannot do or have.

The cuck male knows that socially he should compete for and be territorial about his wife. This is how life should be. But he knows that he is different. He has to grapple with the cost of not measuring up, to sustain the cost of being different. So now he starts to redefine husband hood, to find a new definition of what it is to partner. He is dealing with his dissonance- about how he should be as a male. He starts to think of all the other ways he can be a great partner, attentive, good financially, emotionally constant and loyal. He learns about cunnilingus and similar, things that sustain pleasure for a woman, even though she is fucking with his better… and he offers that. He redefines himself in ways that are cogent with his inferiority in the mating stakes.
Jezz