A cuckold’s mixed emotions

Despite my inability to stimulate and satisfy her sexually with my small penis and the fact she is a beautiful woman standing a half foot taller than me in regular high heels, Marilyn wed me because we got along so well outside the bedroom and she did truly love me. However, I could only keep her happy for so long with the sexual toys, such as the hollow strap-ons and dildos I purchased to supplement our traditional sex life. Our fifteen year age difference really began to tell on me. I was 50 and she was 35 at the time.

 

To be fair, Marilyn did not do me dirt by playing around behind my back and not telling me. When I once had a serious discussion with her about my sexual deficiencies and asked her if there was any way I could please her, Marilyn came right out and told me she needed “a whole lot more” than what I had to offer when it came to sex. She point blank told me that I couldn't get it up nearly hard enough or often enough to please her, and she also frankly referred to my lack of size. She added that the sexual devices were certainly an improvement, but were not the real thing and could never satisfy her oral desires. When I brought up the idea of her finding an extra-marital sexual partner, she didn't hesitate much at all to tell me that she thought it was a good idea. She kissed me with abandon and thanked me for suggesting it and allowing her to do it.

 

I was pretty shattered to be told my the woman I love that I was totally lacking in the virility stakes, but having voyeuristic tendencies, I was also fantastically and perversely excited. The prospect of seeing my beautiful, statuesque younger wife swallowing another guy's big cock and taking his massive rod up her cunt really got to me where it hurts. Hurts exquisitely if you get my meaning.

 

I told Marilyn that she should go right out and get herself fixed up with a young stud who had the biggest cock she could find, if that is what she wanted. But then I begged her to let me watch when they had sex. Marilyn was reluctant to do it because she thought this was pretty weird, and she also was fearful it might hurt, if not ruin our marriage. I was able to convince her otherwise and she eventually agreed because she really does love me.

 

Marilyn had little trouble finding an agreeable and qualified man through Internet personal ads. To make a long story short, it is now two years later and she is regularly making it with a handsome, muscular African American gentleman who is twenty years younger than me, stands about a foot taller than me, and has twice as many cock inches in length and girth. I can say it sometimes rips me apart inside to see the woman I love sucking this man's enormous rod and taking his thick jism all over her face and tits. When he takes her doggie style, he can bring her to multiple, squirting orgasms. It can be an emotional hell, yet I can't help looking forward to the sessions, and there is no question I am getting better and longer lasting hard-ons these days 

 

It's a devastating blow to my male pride to see the way this man comes off, jerking great wads of clotted spunk, like a shooting load of mayonnaise all over Marilyn's face and body, when all I can produce is a weak squirt of thin,watery gray-colored stuff. I sometimes torture myself thinking of the way Marilyn joyously kisses this guy's big black balls, then looks up with amazement and admiration on her face as she runs her tongue up and down his massive shaft. But I am so excited I ejaculate in my pants when watching all of it. 

 

It humiliates me, but it also delightfully amazes me and ultimately stimulates me no end to watch what this young, extremely virile 6'7″ man with a nine inch cock does to and for my wife.