Are Women High Maintenance?

Men are simple; give them food, sex, and positive attention, and they’re happy. It doesn’t take much to make a low-maintenance woman happy, either, but her happiness level is often dependent on who you are to her.

Embarkbh.com states; Happiness is typically a more fleeting emotion, often sparked by a particular moment or event that brings a sense of excitement or exhilaration. Joy, on the other hand, is a more long-lasting state of being, characterized by contentment and satisfaction with life overall.

Positivepsychology.com says, “Happiness can be defined as an enduring state of mind consisting not only of feelings of joy, contentment, and other positive emotions, but also of a sense that one’s life is meaningful and valued (Lyubomirsky, 2001). Happiness energizes us and is a highly sought after state of being.”

Merriam-webster.com says happiness is; a: a state of well-being and contentment : Joy. b: a pleasurable or satisfying experience. Each of these definitions can be true. A woman can be content with her husband, and a lover can make her happy, but what makes a woman happy?

Do women expect more from their primary partners and just enjoy being with their lovers? Can a woman be high-maintenance for one man and low-maintenance for another? Can a husband and a lover do the same thing and get different results? The answer is yes.

A husband can ask his wife for sex, and she may tell him they have more important things to do, but if a lover asks for sex, the wife may think that, since he hasn’t had her in a while, she will make having sex with him a priority. To lovers, a wife is their sexual playmate; he doesn’t have to do much to get sex, whereas a husband or boyfriend often has to earn sex.

According to Merriam-Webster’s definition, a wife can experience a state of well-being and contentment with her husband, yet have a pleasurable and satisfying experience with a lover or lovers. With whom do you think a wife will expect the most, her husband or her lover(s)?

A lover is a man a woman has sex with more than once or even a few times. He has a track record of pleasing her. Yet, most husbands have a track record of disappointing their wives. For a lover to make a woman happy, all he has to do is get an erection and sustain it. A husband, on the other hand, must prove his worth regularly.

To a lover, another man’s wife or girlfriend is low-maintenance. He doesn’t have to provide her with a home, protect her, be her best friend, deal with her mood swings, see her when she is angry, or continually build her self-esteem. He just has to be available and able to get it up.

Even a wife who has sex with her husband often can be seen as high maintenance. She will require much of his time, expect him to listen to and understand her, and provide for her emotionally, intellectually, and financially in return for letting him have sex with her ocassionally.

There’s a reason why casual sex is called no-strings-attached sex, and marriage is connected to the term ball and chain. Show me a happy man, and I’ll show you a man who is getting no-strings-attached sex, possibly from another man’s wife.

For many wives, having sex with their husbands is an obligation, whereas sex with their lover(s) is fun, exciting, and satisfying. The only things a wife expects of her lover(s) are attention, good sex, and fun.

It took five years for my wife to trust me and believe I was worth her emotional investment. Yet, in that time, she had other boyfriends and had sex with over three hundred other men.

When a woman makes a man wait for sex, it’s to make sure he values her. When a woman has sex on a first date, or she has sex with other men repeatedly without there ever being any mention of commitment, it’s because she deserves it.

Many women will withhold sex from a man they believe will make a good husband. They want to make sure he is prepared to build a relationship beyond his own sexual needs.

Casual, repeated sex is reserved for men with whom women have no desire to have a relationship other than a sexual one.

Can you imagine what would happen if a woman were interested in a man, and he told her he wanted to wait to have sex? She may respect him, but I doubt she’d wait to have sex until he’s ready to. Women like and want sex as much as men do.

When a woman is interested in a man, and he doesn’t want to have sex with her, she wonders if he thinks she’s ugly or she sees something wrong with him. If he doesn’t want sex, maybe he doesn’t deserve it, or he has a small penis and could never sexually satisfy her, anyway.

The paradox is that women are not attracted to men who just want sex, yet they’ll have sex with them, knowing they will never commit, and women will deny sex to men who put off a long-term relationship vibe to make sure they want more than just sex.

For some men to get sex, all they have to do is want it. Men who desire to commit must prove they don’t just want sex and can offer much more than just sex. Where this is an issue is when a man shows a desire to commit, women fear he will have sex with them and then ghost them, so they make them wait to have sex.

When a woman has sex with a man for sex’s sake, she doesn’t care if it’s a one-night stand, and she never sees him again. She may even have sex with him repeatedly because he’s available, a good lover, or is wanted by and is having sex with other women.

There are many effects of making a man wait for sex.
(1) He may lose interest before getting sex.
(2) He may feel used if he spends time and resources on the woman but finds that other men get sex with her and don’t have to.
(3) He may find someone willing to have sex quicker, requiring less investment, and find her to have more value.

(4) After three to six months of waiting, either the man or the woman may find they are not sexually compatible.
(5) After waiting for sex and investing time and resources, the woman may reject him once she sees him naked.
(6) The man may eventually get sex but find that the woman isn’t willing to do for him what she will for other men.
(7) The woman may find another man who is willing to commit and dedicate more time to him.
(8) The man may find that he can’t do enough to earn sex with the woman he desires to commit to.
(9) The chances that the man may catch the woman having sex with another man or other men increase.
(10) The man may try too hard to please the woman, and she loses respect for him.

There are few, if any, positives associated with making a man wait for sex. The only women, if any, who have the “right” to make a man wait for sex are virgins. If a woman has let other men have sex with her, she is not special. She must offer more to a man for him to see her value.

The more men a woman has sex with, the higher her standards will be. She’s tasted everything at the buffet, and she’s looking for what she’s enjoyed most and something she has never tasted before. Having sex with a virgin strokes a man’s ego, but having sex with a man who has little to no experience is usually a letdown for women.

Men who have money, social status, or larger cocks tend to have the most sexual opportunities and get the most sex. These are the men women will have sex with, yet they are generally not the men who are looking to commit.

A person’s looks often have a lot to do with how many sexual opportunities and experiences they have, especially women. Yet, marginally attractive women can get sex fairly easily.

It is a common belief that less attractive women do the most sexually, and for men looking for sex, attraction isn’t always a factor; it’s about whether she will open her mouth and legs for him or not.

It used to be that men looked for a woman who could bear their children and be a good mother and wife, and women looked for men who would be good providers. Today, fewer men aspire to be fathers, and fewer women rely on a man to provide for them financially.

When women have bad experiences with men, they raise the bar for the men who follow. When men have bad experiences with women, especially after they’ve committed to them, they often pay for it for the rest of their lives. Once a man commits to a woman, he must consistently excite and please her, because that is what her past lovers have done.

If a woman believes she has settled, she will not be faithful. She will look for men who can give her the excitement and adventure she craves. Once a man commits to a woman and she gives him sex, he is more likely to remain faithful. Women will have sex with men simply because they are good lovers and then require the most from the men who have committed to them.

No man is guaranteed that a woman will remain faithful to him. Even if a man provides a woman with a house, car, vacations, fidelity, and gifts, she may still crave from other men what she perceives he lacks. More and more women are looking for open and polyamorous relationships so they can have their cake and eat it, too.

My wife recently asked, “You know that me, Mike, Randy, and Robert will never be more than fuck buddies. Right?” What she was saying was that she would continue to have sex with them, but they’d never have much more than a sexual relationship with her.

Men usually have the most to lose in a divorce, so after they commit to and marry a woman, they will do almost anything to make her happy, even letting her have lovers. They will give up their personal time, resources, and happiness if it will make their woman happy.

When a man commits to a woman, he does so, knowing she may be unfaithful to him. A man in a committed relationship must be everything to his woman, or she will see him as nothing. For a woman to love a man, she must feel his love for her. If her husband or boyfriend doesn’t make her feel loved, she will find someone who will.

It’s not always about love, though. Sometimes, it’s about how another man makes a woman feel. My wife said, “Mike is a good lover, which is why I always return to him.” Mike is married, has sex with multiple women, and can never commit to my wife, but because he is a good lover, she makes him a priority when he wants her.

In the twelve years we’ve known Mike, he’s made love to my wife hundreds of times. When he is in town, my wife makes him a priority. My wife misses him when he is away hunting or spending the winter in Arizona. She even brings him up when she and I have intercourse. My wife feels emotionally connected to Mike.

In the twelve years we’ve known Mike, he’s gotten my wife gang-banged at least fifty times, yet he’s only taken her out for dinner and Ice cream twice. When the three of us get together, he and my wife expect me to service him because he deserves it.

Mike has become more aggressive in his lovemaking as he’s aged, and my wife has seen that as personal growth. The only thing my wife expects of Mike is exciting and satisfying sex. Still, she expects me to be mature and submissive, to put others first, to be there for her when she is moody, to care for her when she is sick, and to be accepting of her and other’s wants and needs.

We have taken the RV to Arizona in the wintertime so that my wife could have sex with Mike. She sees him as special and values him as a person and a lover. Mike sees my wife as an easy lay, and she’s okay with that. Yet, my wife says that I too often only want her for sex.

A lover like Mike doesn’t have to do much other than be a good lover. Yet, because I am her husband, my wife expects much more from me. She expects me to work overtime if possible and be cautious with my spending. She’ll withhold sex from me if she is going to or has had sex with Mike or other men.

My wife says there is more to life than sex. Yet, when Mike wants sex, it becomes a priority. When Mike wants sex, we will drive an hour or fly or drive the RV to him when he is out of state.

Because Dee Dee is my wife, my money and time are hers. Mike doesn’t have to earn sex from my wife, but if I want sex, I have to be deserving of it. Randy is my wife’s friend with benefits and has had sex with my wife much more than I have in the time he’s known her.

When a man is not in a committed relationship with a woman, he can get more sex more often than the man who has committed to her. He also has to do less to get more. A single man can get sex, even with another man’s wife, and it can cost him nothing. Yet, even when he doesn’t get sex, a husband or boyfriend will expend time and resources to get less than men who expend very little.

A woman’s lover will never see her as high maintenance because he doesn’t have to spend money on her. Meanwhile, a husband or boyfriend must provide both emotional and financial support. He must provide his wife or girlfriend with a life she sees as worthwhile and satisfying.

In a committed relationship, a man must earn enough to cover the bills and provide a home, a car, food, entertainment, and vacations. There must also be enough money for emergencies and quality of life things that lovers never have to provide.

Even a woman who considers herself low-maintenance will be costly to her husband or boyfriend, and she will have sex with him less often than she does with her lovers. Lovers don’t have to earn sex; they just have to want it to get it. And it costs them nothing but their time. The only time a woman is not high-maintenance is when she is with a man she is not committed to.

Because sex is a low priority for a woman when she is in a committed relationship, quality of life, excitement, and adventure take priority. Finances and bills take priority over sex. Vacations and plans for the future take priority over sex. Almost everything takes priority over sex.

In a committed relationship, a woman’s money is hers, as is her husband’s or boyfriend’s. Bills are accumulated together, and time is spent together. Yet, a husband or boyfriend must provide more than money. He must provide quality of life.

Fewer men want to be in committed relationships because they are financially costly. They must also dedicate most of their time to the relationship and providing for their wife or girlfriend. Even when a man provides for his wife or girlfriend, she may still need other men to fill and fulfill her, which costs them nothing.

Men who see women as high-maintenance are not the men women are having sex with. The men that women are having sex with are the men who do the least and get the most.

I read on Hubpages.com, “I will give a man intimacy easily, but not sex. Intimacy is sharing your inner being, and sex is sharing your sexual self. Men aren’t interested in getting to know the inner being of women – all men are interested in is sex.”

If we follow the logic of the woman quoted above, it would seem that women are willing to do everything except have sex with a man who wants to commit to them. They say that all men are interested in is sex, and they still withhold what they know is most important to them.

Many women grow up dreaming of their Prince Charming sweeping them off their feet, giving them a big diamond engagement ring, wearing a beautiful wedding dress to their big wedding, and living happily ever after. That’s a great fantasy, but it isn’t based on reality.

While waiting for Mr. Right, many women enjoy Mr. Right Now. Even when they find and (trap) sorry, marry Mr. Right, they still want Mr. Right Now. Women, like men, are sexual beings who like and desire sex; it’s just that women have more opportunities to have sex.

Although women want emotional security, they want satisfying sex just as much. Fidelity is tough for many women because they get bored easily, which is why many women have several lovers. Remember, it’s not how much a man does for a woman that’s important; it’s how he makes her feel.

If there is one thing that women are loyal to, it’s their feelings. If she considers you the prize, she will do almost anything for you, the least being giving you sex.

There is nothing a man can do to secure a woman’s loyalty because it is a byproduct of her attraction to him. If her desire and attraction are consistent, the sex she gives him will be, too.

Because feelings can change, there’s no assurance that a woman will always want to have sex with you. A woman’s desire is often spontaneous and situational.

Even strong, independent women look to men to set the tone for the relationship. A cautious man who does not initiate sex will not get sex, whereas a man who aggressively seeks the pleasure a woman can offer will.

Men are often raised to be considerate of a woman’s feelings, which makes them less dominant and less apt to make bold romantic gestures.

Women are attracted to bad boys and men with bad-boy qualities. They desire men who are willing to take risks. If a man is hesitant to express his masculinity and desire for sex, a woman will feel frustrated and punish him for being too nice.

A woman will respect a man’s sexual boldness and reward him for it. Yet, she must be attracted to him. If a woman is not attracted to a man, his respect for her and lack of sexual intent is welcomed because it ensures her boundaries are respected, and she doesn’t feel pressured to engage sexually.

There are two types of men: those who get free, no-strings-attached sex and those who must pay dearly for it. Men who desire or are in committed relationships are in the latter category. Men in committed relationships must earn what other men get for free.

Although women require consistency, men are often expected to be spontaneous, bold, and exciting. Women want men to provide for them, yet they also want men to bring out their wild side.

When my wife and I first met, and I told her my life’s goal was to have fun, she saw me as lazy and irresponsible. Yet, she reacted differently when other men had the same goal. Fun with other men meant sex, whereas fun with me meant vacations, adventures, and sex with other men. We have spent a lot of money on vacations to the Dominican Republic so that my wife could have sex with local men.

The money I earned was essentially spent to ensure that other men got sex from my wife for free, and what she received, my wife saw as a good return on my investment.

My wife says that most Dominican men are poor and have little quality of life, which is why our money is well spent, because her having sex with them improves their quality of life. The same was true when we went to the Bahamas. Sex can add to the quality of a person’s life and make them feel as though they matter. What does it say when sex must be earned?

Many people believe that you can only value something if you earn it, which is why it is said that sex within a committed relationship is best. It doesn’t happen often; when it does, it’s well worth the wait and investment. The problem with sex within a committed relationship is that it loses its novelty. It becomes boring. It’s sometimes seen as an obligation.

Obligatory sex is rarely, if ever, fun and exciting. And often, when it takes forever to earn it, the juice isn’t worth the squeeze. The reason many men stay in sexless marriages is because of honor and duty. They made a promise, and they’re proving their word means something.

Loyalty means different things to men and women. Women are loyal to their feelings, and men are faithful to their word. A man will stay with a woman even if he doesn’t get sex from her, and a woman will stay with a man she doesn’t have sex with if she retains the ability to have sex with other men.

Marriage and divorce are both costly. A man may spend more on his wife during their marriage, but it becomes more evident when they divorce. There is a reason why many men believe it is “cheaper to keep her.” It is said that men derive greater health benefits from marriage than women, yet women live longer.

Women often benefit the most from divorce. They frequently receive child support and alimony and can have casual sex with other men without their husband’s reprisal. The fear of losing everything in a divorce can keep a man in a marriage, especially if they have children.

Women are costly emotionally and financially in relationships. You do not see those costs when you are a woman’s lover. The costs are only evident to a man who commits to a woman. When a man marries a woman, he spends his time and resources and often sacrifices his wants, needs, and sense of self and self-worth.

It may be cheaper for a man to stay in a sexless marriage, but it’s even more affordable when he can get sex without having to be married. Most men want the most with the least investment, but men who marry often give the most and receive the least.

Married men often earn more than single men, but they work more, are home less frequently, and usually have to earn sex, while single and married men who can are having sex with single as well as married women. Whether a woman is considered high or low maintenance is often decided by the amount of sex you’re having with her and what it takes to get it.