Experiment: Pt. 7

In April (2019), it marked one year from the time my fiancé and I had our first hotwifing experience with our mutual friend. Which also meant it marked the very first time my fiancé and her boyfriend had sex together. My fiancé and I decided a good way for them to commemorate that, would be for her and her boyfriend to spend some additional quality time together. So, my fiancé and her boyfriend discussed and synchronized their work schedules as best as possible, a couple of weeks in advance, and when the time came, she and him went on an out of town vacation for a little over a week. We did not talk very much while she was gone. A few texts here and there and a couple of pics and videos. For the most part though, they enjoyed their time together.

After she came home from the extended visit with him, I noticed a huge change in her. She seemed much happier, and more devoted… to him. Her demeanor towards me was more distant than usual, more friend-like. But nothing more than that. I could sense an emotional shift – more than what had already been occurring since their time being exclusive together – and I knew that her bond with him was much stronger.

It was very nice to see her, though, and we did talk a little bit just to catch up on the week and what was going on with everything. She explained that it was the best trip she had ever been on, and she hopes to do it again if/when time permits. Eventually the conversation did lead to my fiancé and her boyfriend and how deeply in love she is with him.

My fiancé and I talk regularly. Typically we discuss her and I’s relationship as well as her and her bf’s relationship and the collective course in which we are heading. There is always an affirmation of her love for me. She is very grateful for me and very much appreciates the role and dear friend I am for her. However, she cannot help how she feels and tries to be as honest and open to me about everything.

Her and I both know that things will never go back to the way things used to be between us. We have both known it for a while, and even talked about it off and on through the passing months. However, in the last week or, one of our conversations led down that path again and we discussed it very thoroughly. She admitted that her love for her bf far surpasses anything she has ever had for me, and though this was a hard thing to hear it made me very happy. I told her I already knew for myself that she does indeed love him very much, and I felt that she could have never loved me as much as she loves him. She shook her head and said she agreed very strongly with that statement and added “nor would I want to. It just wouldn’t feel right. I feel much happier with this lifestyle arrangement and being with him. I feel more naturally able to give myself to [him] in ways I just can’t with you.”

I explained to her that I completely understand, and I can see for myself, when she is with him how happy she is and how much she really loves him. But I asked her if she still wanted us to be married. And she said “Yes, of course. I still look forward to you being my husband and best friend. But nothing more than that. What I have with [him], is something you and I will never have. Even if [he] and I broke up, because it wouldn’t feel right. But still, I want you as my husband because you do provide those things for me that [he] can’t. And I do appreciate and love you in many ways and for many reasons. And I will never leave you no matter what. However [he] is my person. The man who I am deeply and truly in love with. He makes my entire being smile. I love him more than I could ever imagine, and that is something I do not ever seeing us having. And it wouldn’t feel right if we did. To me this feels more fitting than anything else.”

When my fiancé and I have these kinds of conversations, she usually is naked, or wearing bra and panties, while giving me a handjob. This time she was naked, and I admit that the conversations left a wave of feelings and emotions. It was slightly stinging; however, it was more arousing than anything else. And near the end of our conversation I did orgasm very hard. I know she told me is true. I know she loves him very much and I know that she is happier because of it. I know her and I will never have what she and her bf have. We will be best friends, like sisters. Nothing more. And it has been very arousing and pleasing to see her transform and change into the woman she is now. Not only have I been able to watch my fiancé fall so deeply in love with another man, but I have also witnessed her give herself more fully to another man than she would have ever done with me. And I honestly consider myself very lucky to have her as my fiancé and soon to be wife. I love her more because of it, and I wouldn’t want what I have with her any other way.

We talked a little more, agreeing that our marriage will be partially for show to those looking in. She will be my wife, and I her husband, but ultimately, they will be the ones who are in the real relationship and they will be the ones who celebrate our marriage and anniversaries. And they will be the ones who eventually start my fiancé and I’s family, when the time is right.